Given Tree's post a bit ago, and the recent news that my WW and OM have moved into my neighborhood...

I think BS should be prepared to bump into their WS and OP.

Let's say I'm at the market and I bump into them, and they try to make nice-nice. This is a guy who every time I picture him in my mind, my boot is on his neck.

What to do?

I'd like to say, "I wish you'd get out of my neighborhood," or "Stay away from me."

Actually, I'd like to lean in and quietly say something real, real nasty to them.

As you can see, I'm unprepared. And since these people have decided to live on my turf, I should be ready.

Any advice?

GC

I ran into OM not with WW but by himself. I was with a big group of friends and things could have really gotten ugly. But instead I just told my friends, nothing good can come of this, we have to LEAVE NOW. And we did. It ruined the rest of my evening but you don't want to do anything you'll regret later.

I don't know how to deal with it either. Don't let them run your life, but avoid putting yourself into situations where you will have to meet them. You don't need that stress in your life.

The other option is you could try to get him to smack you then lay on a restraining order as fast as he can say boo! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Miker

Hi Gray,

A reply I learned in therapy that I love is,

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

It was meant as a response to someone who is going off on you in an irrational manner, or is getting emotional and trying to drag you into their drama. You validate that they have feelings, don't make any dj's about said feelings, and apologize for basically nothing.

In the scenario you reference, it basically is true and can be applied. You're saying that you are sorry to see them acting inappropriate (being together), based upon their "feelings". And, a side benefit in my mind, they'll think you're nuts, especially if you say it before they say anything. They'll be thinking, "Huh? What way? What's he talking about? He's nuts!" And I love to see the fog minded get befuddled <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> .

Here's hoping you don't encounter this situation!
Jenny

If you see them out walking on the sidewalk -

"Dang, had I known the neighborhood was going to to go to pot like this I'ld have sold the house while the property value was still up"

If you see them out at the local pub -

"Dang, had I known this was a*shole night I'ld have gone somewhere else"

If you see them at the grocery store -

"Eeks, I just lost my appetite, no point shopping now."

If you see them at a local restaurant -

"Geesh, I was so hungry and now I just feel nauseated. I think I'll go somewhere that caters to a better clientelle"

BTW, I used the bar one years ago on a guy that treated me bad, and he was so embarassed he about ran out of the place, so I didn't have to worry about him being there anymore that night.

"I do not give you permission to speak to me again while your unholy relationship staggers on to its death."

GC,

I almost posted basically the same thing as Bob..because while it might feel nice for a minute to unload or taunt..long term you probably will regret it.. but you still want to maintain that boundary and not let them off the hook.

So.."You do not have my permission to speak to me." [I'd leave off the end] is outstanding in that capacity.

Then you go out there and dominate. Never leave because they are there, unless you make it a *public* exit. Make it uncomfortable. Don't give them what they want.

Maybe go read some Jane Austen for just the right icy blast of etiquette. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Noodle

GC: "Oh,hey guy(OM),let me help you up off the floor. Sorry about my boot,I have no idea how it got there".LOL

dbl

<small>[ March 15, 2005, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> what is up w/MB today

<small>[ March 15, 2005, 01:51 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

Noodle, I had thought some about the not leaving rule. I won't run away, that's for sure.

I don't see why I shouldn't just lay OM out if he ever comes near me. I doubt I'd regret it. And I'm sure one swing would do the trick.

GC

And then one more, just for good measure! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

graycloud I wused to run into my exH and my EXBF alot I lived in a samll town. It took me awhile but I learned to rise above them and look right throw them like they weren't there. It drove them crazy. But I held my head up and moved on. Good luck.

10girl and weaver, you were both there during one of my early nights of horror, and now here we are yukking it up about beating up on OM. Love you guys... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

GC

x2

<small>[ March 15, 2005, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: graycloud ]</small>

Unfortunately, I have to frequently bear the sight of XW and OM (she married the guy she wasn't having an affair with <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ) at my son's school functions.

So far, OM and I have successfully avoided each other for the most part. In fact, our only contact since their marriage was in June 03 when he threatened to my face as I stood in my driveway to "kick my [censored]" because I failed to notify my XW of some business travel I had, which upset our shared custody calendar, which must have upset some plans he had. In the end, this turned out to be fun because it afforded me the opportunity to demonstrate that she DID know of my plans - as shown by e-mail exchanges between us that I sent him later. I also got to strut around some and warn them both that I am well aware of the process to have a restraining order slapped on somebody. The "kick my [censored]" threat was witnessed by a neighbor who considers OM to be a "piece of [deficant]".

Anyway, my neighbor's term gave me the idea of what I might say when the time comes when we (me and OM) unavoidably find ourselves face to face.

"[snif, snif]? What's that SMELL????? Oh, human waste."

Maybe I can get him to threaten me again.

This guy is the worst human being I have ever known. I have no respect for his being. If given a chance to save his life, I probably would hesitate until he begged me. Then I'd consider it, but I honestly am not sure what I'd do. I invite anybody here to chastise me for having these feelings. Just make sure you read my sig line first.

GC,
In my best Randy Jackson voice\
"You did your thing dog..."

....If I ran into my STBXW with OM I would laugh in their faces. OM isn't half the man I used to be, and due to how much I've grown since D-Day, it would be an understatement to say presently OM isn't nearly 1/10th the man I am.

Gray don't give them the satisfaction of doing anything. Their relationship is a joke and so are they. Why lower yourself?

Yes, I'd laugh but if I was having a bad day I might knock OM out with one punch, It would depend on my mood <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

GC, if I was to see OM's W, I would turn and leave immediately out of respect for her. I do not wish to cause her anymore harm, I do not wish to make her uncomfortable or uneasy in any fashion. She would not confront me, she is better than that, she has heard my apology we have had our closure. I would absolutely drop what I was doing, and leave.

I dread a meeting with my H and OM, great point you brought up, I need to discuss this with my H, we need a plan. When we see him in a passing vehicle, we can almost make it by, and then my ST flips him off, it is like he just can't control it.

OM seems very arrogant, and antagonistic when we drive by, a face to face, with that attitude, will just get his a$$ kicked.

The crowbar to his home and vehicle wasn't enough I guess. My ST chased him through the neighborhood, 1 year ago today.

Thanks GC for the thought.

WAT:

It's like I said 2 Jack218 3 years ago, when he asked a similar 2uestion about whether he should help the OM if he found him injured at the scene of an accident or something.

2long: "Wouldn't that be a violation of the Prime Directive?"

-ol' 2long

2long - I think I remember that, now. Good question. I'll reserve the right to make that decision in the "heat of the moment" - like the infidels made theirs.

WAT
-------------
Coming to a school board meeting soon near you: The Myth of Rube Goldberg: This exhibit displays models of the famed cartoonist's intelligently designed window-cleaning, pencil-sharpening and picture-taking machines. The exhibit debunks the notion that Mr. Goldberg invented these machines himself: Given their complexity, they had to be created not by man or nature, but rather by an unspecified Guiding Force. Sponsored by the Dover, Pa., School Board, and the State of Kansas.

GreyCloud:

Now were talking my Language....


You walk up to this piece of crap and you GRAB him by His Adam's Apple... Pinch really hard so your fingers get right behind it..you then have full control of this fool...You then lean in and say to him in a pleasent voice...so this is what Sh#t sounds like....As he will be gasping and falling to his knees at your mercy.


He will turn three shades of blue but fear not, you will not cause any permanent damage...


My motto is never to run....I have confronted XOM several times and he has only threatened me once, and that was on the phone, and when he heard my car start..he stopped...LOL