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I have been without my 2 boys that H has for 6 years. Only having spent 1 weekend with them alone. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
I for my own well being have to walk away from this. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
I am terrified to face him in court. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WOW, one weekend in 6 years? First off, I will say that yes, Empty is doing something terrible, which he will later regret when his boys resent him for it by keeping them away from their mother. Then again, there could be more to the story, as there are times that it could be in the children's best interest not to see a parent. I only know what you share.
LostHusband has tried to give you encouraging advice and we have even talked about your situation (or what little we know of it) off the boards. As a mother, I just can't get past one thing. These are your CHILDREN. I would think that the prospect of not seeing them more than a handful of times for 6 years and then being completely ousted as their mother my their father would be FAR for terrifying than facing him in court.
What are you afraid of? Your reputation being dragged through the mud? Embarrasment? Feeling degraded?
1. Any of those things are worth the chance to see your children. ANYTHING is. What are you going to tell them when they rae grown and ask why you didn't see them? That you were scared to face court? Ouch.
2. Having all your past misdeeds drug into the public eye and thrown in your face would be miserable, no doubt. But they were your actions. LH made some big mistakes that he has had to face publicly as well, and it's no fun. But there are consequences that you have to just face in order to do what's right (see your children).
Lucidity, please do not answer people with "but you don't know how terrible Empty was/is. You don't know what drove me to it, you don't know what he's like and how he degrades me, etc. Those things may be the facts, and if so, then they are what they are. That's what you have to work with. So what do YOU do? Sit back and let him damage you and the boys (if that's what he's doing)? Or take some action? Stop talking to him about it, that obviously gets you nowhere. Talk to a lawyer instead.
Now, you may have some serious problems getting a lot of sympathy from the system being that it has been 6 years. They may see that as abandonment. But if you can prove Empty had the means to keep them from you, maybe there's a chance. Had you fought it in the beginning, there's no way this ever would have gotten so bad - they just don't keep moms away form their kids unless there is a SERIOUS reason.
And even now, I doubt they would deny you visitation. For not a lot of money you can go through a mediator and get a visitation schedule worked out and decide on set times, places, and travel expenses.
Lucidity, I don't know your situation because I only have the info you give us, but it seems that you have dug yourself into a big hole, allowing Empty to help you dig it and now the only possiblr way out it so start climbing. Looking up from the bottom and wishing Empty would stop digging insn't going to get you anywhere but further down and eventually buried. You have to start yelling out to others who can help and you've got to start CLIMBING. I have heard of people who survive all kinds of trauma with the thought of hetting to their children, maybe you can do the same.
