I started seeing a new pro-M IC last week who I thought was terrific. Laid things out very black/white and has a completely different approach to IC/MC than my previous IC whom I've seen for 6 yrs. She suggested that I should attend her weekly group therapy session to aid me in making my decision. Problem: a) It's a 3-month commitment. b) I'm very leery about seeing/telling a whole bunch of strangers who have not gone through similar experiences about my situation, fearing that I'll be pegged:
'the woman w/ the scarlet letter'. (Note: I'm in a fairly prominent business position in my company/city and have a very unique first name.)

Just curious - has anyone attended group therapy? Even though they have a non-disclosure/confidential policy, does word about individual situations leak outside the group? Has group therapy been helpful? How can they really help if they've not walked around in my shoes?

Thanks in advance for your responses!

Whisper

Whisper-

I just got out of group therapy, I had been going for a few months, it was great!!! I got so much more out of it than I did one on one counseling. And I would say you're safe about your secret leaking out, because the person would have to say they're in *group* with you ..... so that wouldn't make them any better.

You should try it, it's kinda weird at first, but you'd be surprised at how many underlying issues turn up and how much you'll actually have in common with a lot of the people.

I'd give it a shot <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-Caren

Whisper,

If your career is reliant on your perceived character..then yes I would definitely hesitate to enter group therapy. People are people, and they do talk. Word does spread. It *could* come back to haunt you.

Is there no alternative?

Noodle

According to my new IC, group therapy is hands-down the #1 solution for me. I guess my question/concern is what type of folks attend these things. And, I was told that none of the people in my prospective 'group' has been in my situation - meaning, having gone through an A, separation, etc. Can people who have not been in my shoes really help me?

Whisper

Whisper, I don’t have experience about group therapy but what I’ve read about it, I believe it can be very a helpful and powerful tool, especially if the people in the group struggle or have struggled with the same problem(s) than you. However, for your situation I have my doubts and I would be very cautious and careful if I were you... As Noodle said, people are people, and they do talk. And the fact that none of the people in you prospective 'group' has been in a situation like yours also worries me... As you said, it’s difficult for people to understand an A addiction and have empathy if they have not been in such a situation themselves or have knowledge/understanding about it... Also, most people are very judgmental about people who have been or still struggling with an A and won’t necessarily be helpful to you… IMO I think it will be better and safer for you to confide in people you know are trustworthy, care about you and will be able to help & support you through this. I also left you a message on my other thread. Please read it.

I disagree, even if the people haven't been in your SPECIFIC situation, you'd be surprised how many people have the same underlying problems.

I went to group because of my WH's affair, the separation and the problems that I was having in dealing with them.

I had built a wall and had no real emotional intimacy, there were people just like me, and then there were people who were really wishy washy and were just emotions with legs. But everyone had very good input into my situation .

Some of these people were dealing with drug addiction, anger issues, self-esteem issues, but they were very good at understanding where I was coming from.

I was HIGHLY skeptical about it, but it turned out to be a very positive and helpful experience. It helped so much, more so than the IC alone.

Just think about it kiddo. We all have our skeletons no one is exempt from that...hell I put the "fun" disfunctional.


Now that I have been released from the program, I really miss having that support.....no one judges you, they listen, and they try to relate to something in their lives that may be helpful to you. In my group there was a girl who was in there for *cutting* but she had some really good observations and thoughts about what I was going through.

Man it's taking me forever to type this, stupid percocet.

-Caren

<small>[ March 16, 2005, 06:53 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

Wow, I'm now really torn. Maybe I'll just sit in a couple of sessions and just observe??

Thanks again for everyone's input.

Whisper

I go to group therapy and find it very helpful. I don't think it would help as much though if you were constantly worried about what you were going to say. You wouldn't be as open and honest with yourself.

Just a suggestion... Couldn't you go to a group therapy session in another nearby community? That way it might make you feel more comfortable about the potential "leaks".

Miker