WH left 4 weeks ago this Thursday. I came home from work, all of his clothes were gone. He went to other state about 10 hours away to live with OW. He attempted to call once and has gotten in touch with me one other time.. He has dropped his cell number from here. He says he is not there for her, but that he had hurt me too much and that he had no where else to go. Whatever!!

I have no address to send him a plan B letter. I am forwarding his bills to his mom. I am not paying them. She has barely talked to him as well and is on medication for depression already.
I have checked his checking account( we have seperate, thank goodness) and he has no money last week, -75 cents. TOday he has over 400 dollars and had bought 150.00 worth of groceries. No change of address on anything yet. He said he did not have a job when I talked to him that one time. So she must be giving him money. She has money from what I know. She lived in our town for 3 years until her husband divorced her due to the A and kicked her out. She decided to leave town and start over.

Do you think WH's can just leave and never look back? I know everyone says plan B, well, that is what is happening because he just left.
We never fought before, he cheated and that was it. We were best friends and still spent the last night together in bed hugging before he up and left. I did a great Plan A for months after he moved out in the summer for 4 months. He moved back for 4 months and just up and left. I know now the entire time he talked to her, everyday. I guess he never stopped the contact. He says he was not happy with life, not me, just himself and that he wanted a change. How can you say you love someone and never want them to hurt and then just desert them? I have not been to an attorney yet, most of our finances are not together, except for the house. He has his own accounts, etc. so that is good. I am still paying all of the bills, just not his loans, car payment, etc..I am staying in touch with his mom, because I think she is having as hard a time as me. Should I just continue to wait and see if he will call or what? I do not think he ever wants back.

Please, continue to be kind to your mother-in-law. That shows a lot of class on your part.

I think you should protect yourself further. Get an attorney and make sure you are not responsible for any of his future debts. This is not a step to save your marriage, but a simple (necessary) step to protect yourself.

What are you planning to do if H never returns?

Another question .... What would you do if the same irresponsible confused WH showed up at your door in 6 months ... not willing to do anything to make himself a better husband (like marriage therapy, etc)??? Would you really want this man as*is back?

Pep

I will continue to be kind to my mother in law. They are very supportive of us and think he has lost it. He is not even talking to anyone else in his family or his old friends from home.

I guess I will seek an attorney at some point.

I do not know what my plans are. I guess if he never returns, I am still moving on. I am not staying home sulking now. I am working out, going out with friends, staying busy. I am sad that he is not here, but I know that I also have a life. He is the one that is ruining his life and mine, but I am trying to continue a good life. He will be the one that regrets this one day, or that is what everyone says.

I think if he returned in 6 months, unless major changes has happened I would not accept him. Hopefully by then, I will be stronger and know that I can not do it again. I did it once and he continued to lie and not work on our marriage for 4 months. We went to counseling for 1.5 months and he said that it was up to him, not the counselor to make it better. I guess that it the only thing that he has said that is the truth.

I miss my OLD Husband not this new one. I nor anyone can really believe what he has turned in to. A man that lies and just abandons his wife and house. Thank god we have no children. It is like something from a movie.