So, why not get off that thread with the others arguing amongst themselves over their righteousness and talk to me. Maybe they'll leave us alone,

I won't give you any bible stuff nor cut you any slack, either.

So, what's on your mind? Still wanna get shot? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

For truth in advertising, read my sig line below to get an idea of where I'm coming from in the infidelity wars. I was burned by a really good friend (plus my XW), but I haven't shot either one of them. Probably won't.

Oh, I'm a few years older that that. Can't update my age without sacrificing some limiting character count in the forum software. Anyway, I may have t-shirts older than you. I've communicated with lots of WSs here, so you're likely to be no challenge.

heathenboy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by worthatry:
<strong> So, why not get off that thread with the others arguing amongst themselves over their righteousness and talk to me. Maybe they'll leave us alone,</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, can I join? I've seen this infidelity trap from multiple angles, most recently as a wayward wife. And I don't even own a copy of the New Testament :-)

Seriously, though, I think everyone in an affair has at some point felt/acted/spoke as SSOM has done here. That doesn't mean he will be that way forever. Many WSs here have talked like that before only to go on to a complete transformation. It happened to them; it can happen for SSOM too.

So, how 'bout it, SSOM?

I would like to join others in offering SSOM a helping hand rather than a kick when he is confused and down.

People need help BEFORE they have repented probably more than afterward.
The other thread seemed to only want to help him if he was sorry.

Please tell us your entire story.

What MB members (such as WAT, Ark, Bob, Meremortal, Suzet, Orchid, Believer, Just Learning and many more) will offer you, is Help, Understanding and HOPE for the future. You can get through this and come out a better, more empathetic man in the process. Especially if you do the RIGHT thing.

We don't need to tell you what that is, as in your heart, you already know. Right SSOM?

(One thing you will learn about at this MB site is FOG and Love Addictions to OW and Withdrawal pains when parting from the OW.)

However, don't ever expect validation of an affair with a married woman because none of us can give you that. IT WON'T HAPPEN ON A MARRIAGE BUILDING SITE. Nope! It won't!

Sincerely, Julie :

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<small>[ March 15, 2005, 07:25 PM: Message edited by: Blessed TIME ]</small>

P.S. Could you give us your first name or nickname so we don't have to call you SSOM? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Well I would just like to say that if anyone can put the "fear of WAT" in them, WAT can.

He had the most impact on me when I came here as an OW (albeit forme but on fringes still) than anyone else EVER HAS in my life.

I'm still scared to piss him off. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Did you see my tribute to you on CSUE's thread BTW WAT?

Everyone, I keep threadjacking and might be just a little obsessed but I wish ya'll on this thread could try and draw Cruz out too. I worry about that one, and I know he is sincere and remorseful but not comfortable about posting about his current sitch because of his past sitch which got him in this sitch in the first place.

Sorry for jacking your thread (again).

Hi weave - no, I didn't see that, but thanks. Was never trying to scare you - just encourage you to think.

Now you youngsters skedaddle along and let me and SSOM have a chat, if he shows. But it IS almost my bedtime. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Many thanks to you who can stay objective and non-judgemental even through the pain and anguish. You've inspired me.

W

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by whisper28:
<strong> objective and non-judgemental</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi W - not sure who you're referring to, but I'll stand up to always trying to be objective. I don't claim to always be successful at it, however. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

As far as non-judgemental is concerned, I will usually not be that. It's the honesty thingy. I personally make judgements and speak them to those who post here, when appropriate, and I make no apologies about it. I hope others speak their judgements. I am always amazed at people who think we're "supposed" to be non-judgemental. Why? Maybe it's semantics and "judgement" is being confused with something other than "idea" and "opinion."

WAT

SSOM,

Did you see the info in the thread about the science of love?

Do you know about the addictive nature of adultery?

Do you have any previous experience with an addiction?

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=037622

Also, SSOM, you seem to be under the impression that the woman you are committing adultery with is a victim and you are her rescuer.

This is typical of adultery.

And how do you even know that she is telling you the truth about her husband? What if she is just lying to you to justify the adultery and to make herself look better in your eyes? Dishonesty is also an inherent ingredient in adultery.

She's given you excuses to justify being unfaithful to her husband. If her husband really is so awful she does have a valid reason to insist on marriage counseling and/or divorce. But she doesn't have a good reason to commit adultery. She needs to take responsibility for her choices and stop sneaking around and making excuses. Why would you want to get involved with somebody that you know is dishonest and who might cheat on you too?

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=036345

<small>[ March 16, 2005, 07:57 PM: Message edited by: meremortal ]</small>

BUMP

If you'd all like to help a young Betrayed Spouse I'm sure that he would appreciate all of your help.

He's on the JFO board and his name is prismx.

The thread is "Lost and Confused."

He's an emotional wreck as his wife just moved out for her OM and to have the perennial "space."

Thanks to all who might venture over there to help this young man.