Ok, so WH has admitted to talking w/OW on the phone AGAIN!! He just said 2 nights ago that he has had NC for a week, looks like that is as long as he can make it. I of course started crying when he admitted to call, asked him if he had any idea what he is throwing away? He says he does not want to just throw it away, he just isn't sure that it will work. I can always tell that he has spoken w/her because he is real quiet when talking to me, like guilt or hiding something, but he never denies it when confronted. It is almost like he wants me to catch him again. I did not yell, but cried. I know this is still an outburst, but how can I help it? I am so angry!!!!

WH goes tomorrow to see MC by himself. I saw her alone yesterday, she has told me that she seriously thinks he is Bipolar. She thinks that he has many of the manic symptoms of Bipolar & that A's are just one of them. He also goes on compulsive spending sprees & runs on very little sleep, all symptoms! She will start testing him tomorrow, he does not know about this yet. Part of me really hopes that this is true to give me an 'explanation' for the A's, but that does not make the hurt any less. Anyone else dealt with this?

I am not sure how long I can go on w/Plan A if he continues contact w/OW. It hasn't been very long, I have only known about A for just over 1 month, but it seems like forever. Help!!!!

Help!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I know nothing about bi-polar, but I'm responding to keep this thread at the top. Evenings are slower than days, and you are on the busiest thread. Hang on.

SD

Molly,

First of all, please know that what you are feeling is normal. Those first few weeks after D-day are horrible.

My H attempted NC many times before he was finally able to follow through. It is an addiction to OW, and that is so painful to hear, I know.

It took my H 2 1/2 months to finally have NC. He tried very hard, I know that. He would even drive past her work just to be "close" to her.

I try hard every day to believe there is NC and he hasn't proven himself to be lying for the first time in MANY months!! We had many lies in our situation.
You come to wonder what you can believe and what you can't.

I do believe my H is bipolar as well. His counselors are still trying to figure that out.
They pointed out to me that there is not a specific test you can take, but rather rule things out. My H has been diagnosed with clinical depression. His psych dr doubled the dose of meds that he was on, as he thought it was the correct med for him, at least for now. His regulare medical Dr initially put him on these meds.

Please try your damndest with Plan A. It sounds so simplistic and really to those who don't understand it, like such a dumb thing to do. Most would kick them out on their a**.
I belong to a divorce support group and they all think I am nuts but none of them have ever heard of marriagbuilders either.
Note that I am the only one in this group who hasn't thrown their spouse out. Keep up plan A.

Thanks for support, I have had plenty of thoughts of kicking WH out on his A**. Especially everytime he tells me he is going to have NC, then a few days later I find out he spoke w/OW. Part of me wants to call her to have words w/her also. But I am afraid that WH would flip out over that, he said he is trying his best to stay away from her. He says he hasn't seen her, just talked on the phone. My answer to that each time is it is EA!!! That it is still carrying on A w/out the PA part!

Any other suggestions on how to remain sane while doing Plan A while WH is still having contact would be greatly appreciated!