cc- I so enjoy your posts. You're obviously an intelligent and well-rounded individual. Thanks for telling us a little more about you.

I am so sorry you're having to go through this stuff.

Georgia

I'm still stuck on level 8!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />



No. It's funny you should ask. This country is completely different from the rest of Latin America, because we killed our natives early on and so have no "cultural" legacy or identity !

According to WH who liked history, we were allowed to exist as a country because geographically we are a wedge between 2 superpowers! And it's not only geographically. We really are always picking on them! Pests that we are!

So we are all descendants of mostly italians and spaniards, with some other europeans mixed in. My great great great grandmother was irish! O'Reilly <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

This is beef country. No beans here.

You know, I don't know why I don't tell you more. I'm not saying anything here that I wouldn't tell a friend or even a stranger.

And I don't care about being identified after all. I know I'm the only person from this country posting, and I doubt anyone else is reading although I have recommended this site to friends who speak english.

I guess I'm a little influenced by the need of some to be anonymous. I don't have that need. I'm just who I am and I have nothing to hide. Thank God!

So ask me. I'll answer.

cc46,

Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed learning more about you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{cc46}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Ok. Not clinically depressed BUT you do have a DEPRESSIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS...You know, SEEING THE GLASS AS BEING HALF EMPTY RATHER THAN HALF FULL....

That's understandable though...

I've been listening to the book YOUR BEST LIFE NOW by OSTEEN...he's talking about the need to stay positive even in the midst of major life problems....

Luna,

it's just another life... unique like all others.
But I'm glad you found it interesting.

Mimi,

take into consideration that I;m venting here because I don't do it anywhere else. I don't think that this is the best solution, it would probably be preferable to have a group of friends you could talk to everyday or nearly everyday and at any moment. But that's not reality.

We all have lives and daily things to do. And it's much, much better than not talking to anyone or talking to myself!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> That drives you insane! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Although my thoughts might SEEM depressive, I don't act on them. If I did I would have given up on my marriage years ago, I'd have given up on my career too. I could have decided to be a SAHM, afterall I had 3 kids in 2 years!

So inspite of basically doing the whole family thing and studying I was very optimistic all my life.

Yes I have depressive thoughts very often lately, but more than that I have depressive FEELINGs. I know feelings can change, I know that life can be good, even better than I can imagine, but it's not happening right now.

I'm trying.

But it's hard with little support. WH still wayward. Finances nothing special although I'm not complaining. I appreciate everything I have.

Big problems at work though. Maybe I'll be "changed" because the employees don't like my controlling their workschedules or their work. And to make things worse I'm always there!

Anyway, I've been meaning to tell you that about 10 days ago I got a call from a cc because it hadn't been paid for 2 months. Probably the billing never got here. Has happened before.

Because we had actually agreed it would be good to make some sort of contact with WH I wrote him an e mail. He wrote back very defensively saying he had paid everything but that he would check and take care of it. That was a monday. By saturday and having received a second phone call (although I wasn't home) I went and paid it myself.

When I got home I had a note saying that they would be "taking action".

Sunday WH took dds to dinner and they must have told him. On monday I kept getting forwarded messages from him about diabetes, job opportunities, and asking whether I had got his e mails about having paid the account.

When I said I hadn't he kept asking the same thing??????? but never forwarded them. Makes me a little suspicious... But I'll find out in the end, because if the bill was paid twice that will come up on the next billing, or I may just go check today when I run some other errands.

So far that has been the extent of our "conversations".

He signs his e mails, "regards". That's funny! Who does he think I have to give his regards to?

Anyway, maybe I just need more time than others to get over this. But I will


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I'm not criticizing or finding fault with you about feeling the way you do.

I have felt worse.

I've actually suffered from clinical depression as you describe. However, I did bathe and cut my toenails. (Smile)

I was trying to HELP and to ENCOURAGE you to be more uplifted is all....

Thank you Mimi. I know I can always count on you and many others here. But I don't post much because I know I have to do the work inside myself.

I have to heal myself. In spite of everything I said I know that I do make interesting contributions to those around me.

I'm just a little impatient with MYSELF because just before all this happened I was really feeling great, and looking forward to the futur.

Now that futur is a completely different scenario and I can't picture it yet. I'm trying, but I'm not there yet. I can't make long term plans and that's frustrating.

I have to work on myself.

Are you saying that you do not feel that it is OK for you to be unhappy?

I understand your unhappiness and expect it.

The good part of all this for me has been my own personal growth.

I have turned my whole personal outlook on life around FOR THE BETTER...

On the contrary Mimi, I expected to be unhappy and I allow myself to be unhappy for a while.

But I don't want to be unhappy anymore!

I'm tired of being unhappy! I want to be happy and get on with so many things that I'd like to do. I just can't seem to find the energy to do them, yet. But maybe this is the end of the black period. I felt no emotion with WH's emails. With the defensive and entitled tone I read into them it was like *sigh* he's still wayward.

I was pissed when I paid the bill because there was the faint possibility that he was not paying it on purpose, but I don't think that anymore.

And worries about the job, family, etc.and me suddenly by myself! But I'm getting used to being by myself now.

I'm going to take the dog for a walk and run some errands...

Just read this. That's funny....LOL

Hi cc -

I can totally relate to your feelings. But now, those feelings within me are mostly MEMORIES. I still have those feelings sometimes, but less and less frequently. It causes me the most pain when I remember how I did feel.

I think, based on my experiences, that you will find that you can be HAPPY again. I too have mourned the loss of my "certain" future, and I still deal with the uncertainties of where I'm heading now. I was always so much looking forward to being "Grandpa & Grandma" with grandkids. That will now be forever changed.

I have vented so much to poor Jeb that I bet he needs AD's more than I do. Amzaing, no matter how much he hears me rant and rave, he's still happy!! Perhaps the secret to a happy life is lots of sleep, listening more than speaking, and barking at the Min Pinchers that live next door! Maybe I should try that for a while.

And, I count myself among those like Mimi who have used this tragedy as an opportunity to improve ME, to find new challenges and rewards in MY life.

Would you mind sharing exactly what country you are in? I would like to read a little about it and learn some history.

Georgia

Georgia,

I don't complain about the existance of the feelings, I'm glad I'm able to FEEL, but they should go away a some point, and it's taking more than the average period, I think.

But maybe soon...

I'm feeling better already.<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


Sorry I didn't answer before but I can't access MB at work.

Okay, cc, I'm looking at it on google.earth right now. Go over to your window and wave so I can see you!! (Just kidding).

That is a LONG WAY from here!!! My company has in the past had customers from Argentina and Brazil, but I haven't seen them for a long time. If I'm not mistaken, some of the S.A. governments (about 10 years ago)imposed heavy tariffs on private aircraft leaving the country to get work done in the U.S.

That sounds like a very interesting and important vocation that you have. I don't even know where in Atlanta the CDC is located, but if you EVER make it back, Jeb & I will drive over and buy you lunch.

Georgia

The hospital I worked at was in that area. It was built as a hospice where nuns would take care of the sick. So I worked in that area for nearly 10 years.

It's where the docks are so at night it an be dangerous. Lately, since we have cruise ships coming, they have made it safer during the day time and there are craft shops etc.

Saturdays and specially for New Years it's very traditional that you go to the Port Market which is all places to eat. Mostly meat of course.

That is also the financial center, so there are a lot of important looking people in suits walking around in the daytime!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll manage to make it to the CDC someday again. I'll let you know.

I'd love to meet Jeb! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And of course, if Mimi's not watching and you make it down (up) here, I'll invite you with some juicy steak!

I would be most concerned if this was a date!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It's not. Just a casual meeting.....

cc -

lol..."important looking people in suits" I like that....can I visit and be an important looking person in an Eddie Bauer shirt and pants?

Something I want in my future is to travel to remote, off the beaten path foreign countries. I find being with folks of a culture other than my own fascinating and exhilirating. Before my marital train wreck, we had some family vacations in Toronto. Even though that is only a taste of "foreign", I loved it.

I sometimes watch those Delta weekend specials and get the urge to make an unannounced, unplanned international junket just to see something I've never seen before.

I really should get a passport....

Anyway, thanks for the invitation. Whehter you visit CDC, or I go there, we WILL NOT tell Mimi what we eat!

Georgia

oops...she's chimed in already.

Man....you can't get away from those GODDESSES!!!!

This place is nice, very civilized and not at all exotic except for ONE THING! I've only lately noticed how weird this one cultural thing looks like to foreigners and that is drinking mate (pronounced mateh.

Every american who comes here finds himself at the mercado del puerto at some point... and is easily identified.

Nevertheless, there are all sorts there. So we can ignore the suits...