O.K. guys, here's something that made me feel really good during my camping trip. <BR>WHen we got to the park, things were not at its best - but I'll get into that one later in another thread. We set up everything and went for a walk with the kids. In the campsite right beside us there was a tent like the one we were thinking about getting, so we kind of looked closer. But what I ( and H too, he told me later ) looked at first was the way things were set up. It looked.. I don't know, I don't even have a word for it. There were fresh flowers in the picnic table, a row of candles ( who cares if they were citronela candles to get the bugs at bay, they still looked good), a sketch pad with a big hearth with a woman's face on it - charcoal, looking really good-, a guitar proped on one side, and some other things that looked nice. We finished invading their space and kept on our walk. Later at night, at marshmallow roasting time, we saw two people going into that site, the man had more fresh flowers that he put on another tin cup, and a couple of minutes after we were rewarded ( even though it wasn't meant for us) with beautifull love songs.We didn't mean to be listening, but there was no way we could avoid it, they were right beside us with only some bushes in between. I finally looked at them. They were much older than us, but looked so much in love, so caring. They talked to each other with such warmth.<BR>The next morning our kids were looking at the guitar, from our side ( my daughter is starting to learn, but my guitar is a bit big for her so she likes to look at all guitars to compare them - she says - for size )and he played some kiddies songs for them. From there we talked a bit, they told us about good hiking trails, since we were thinking about hiking with the kids while there. At night they invited us over to their site. They had this cake and told us they were celebrating a special day. We ate cake, and marshmallows, and sang together. LAter we ended up talking and it turned out that the special day was the anniversary of what we would call here their complete marriage recovery. They have been married for 34 years. About 10 years ago, Ray had an affair, and wanted to leave.He had strong feelings for the ow and didn't want to work on their marriage.Like with a lot of us, work, stress, kids, all that had creating that darn drifting apart, and he didn't think they could get it back again.Elyse couldn't give it up, she had been married to that man long enough to know he was a good man, and that the affair was a symptom of things that weren't working to well in their marriage but could be fixed. Like many of us, she worked in that marriage, mostly alone for a while. He wasn't able to give the ow up. And she did it all without the benefit of this forum too!!! She read books, and talked with people. She did her best to fix the things she could, she gave him the space he needed to think, she showed her love for him everytime she could - like mine he wasn't accepting it sometimes. Gradually she started to see some positive results. The ow got out of the picture and they vowed to never again let that happen.Every May 22 they celebrate in a different way( The day Ray realized he wanted his marriage to work). They said their marriage really became stronger since the affair and the loving way they talk and act is the way they always are. He always serenades her ( the love songs we heard) and gives her wild flowers ( because of the store bought flowers he used to give the ow). <BR>10 years, people. It happened 10 years ago! WHo said it couldn't work? You should have seen them, they were so sweet to each other, I bet I got a lot of cavities just from watching <BR>There you go: It can work, it can get better, and it doesn't have to happen again.<BR>I know this was too long, so I'll stop here.<BR>I wish in 10 years we can still be like Ray and ELyse.<BR>Take care you all<BR>Kat

Kat<BR>That is a beautiful story. It gives me so much hope. Thank you for posting it and thank you for replying on my thread this morning. I think we all need to see that some day in the future there can be something besides this thing we are going through now. <BR>At the begginning I truly believed that this was an opportunity to work on our marriage. I have to help myself to see that again!<BR>This story helped!!!

Hi Kat,<P>Thank you for that wonderful story. It makes me feel all the better for sticking with my marriage, even though I sometimes don't have the strength to. <P>I'm glad your H witnessed all of that, too. I wish you all the best.<P>TBH

Awwwww! That was wonderful, Katya. What a great story! Perfect to share here & give someone a little extra "gas" for a down moment.

kat, <P>That is a beautiful story..it brought tears to my eyes.<P>I have to say here that everything happens for a reason (my wise grandmother always tells me that). I believe that you and your H were meant to meet this couple. God 'set this up' for you and your H. To show you both that there is hope for your marriage. Think back to this couple often, and remember the message that God was sending you.<P>Take Care!<P>Heidi

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction....these people were exactly where you needed them to be and shared with you exactly what you needed them to share...<BR>amazing....<P>------------------<BR>Kellie<BR>There's no place that far.<BR>

Hello again, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.<BR>I do bellieve that things happen for a reason, and this seems like it was made for us to witness. It did have a great impact in my weekend ( which wasn't starting as perfect as I thought it would) and also in ourselves ( it did made us think abaout how we want to be 10 years from now). It also gave us a very peaceful feeling and things got much better after that.<BR>I agree with suse, I wish people could come back to this thread and read this story when they feel discouraging or are having a down day.I know that I will not forget this story.<BR>Take care everybody<BR>Kat

Hi Kat, <P>Been travelin for work alot and missed all of you !! (boo hoo, boo hoo)<P>Great Story ! Kinda puts into perspective what the payoff is for hard work in your marriage !<P>Tina

Sob! What a wonderful story...I hope H and I can be like that in 10 years!<P>------------------<BR>Joan

Kat,<BR>Thank you for posting that story. It brought tears to my eyes, and a smile to my face. <BR>I am going to print it out and put it in the anniversary card I have for my H. Today is our 5th. I think we are headed down the right path..... I hope we end up at "that place" soon.<BR>God Bless You,<BR>Dawn

I really liked sherrilyn's and wassy's idea of bringing up any posts on the good stuff, so I rememebered this one, It had a great impact on me as you guys can see, almost like a sign.<BR>Take care everybody<BR>Kat<p>[This message has been edited by Kat1 (edited September 06, 1999).]

Thanks for bringing this up Kat!! I remember it and it has been an inspiration and when I'm down I picture H and I being those two people one day!!<P>Fits in well with us as far as camping - not the singing though - If H sang to me it would turn into a Lovebuster for anyone within earshot!!! LOL!!<P>By relaying these stories to others - ou have given them a "fantasy" of their own to think of when they are having the downs on the rollercoaster. Thank you for that!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

What a beautiful story!! I missed it the first time around, so thanks so much Kat for bringing it back to the top where it belongs. Gimme more, gimme more, gimme more!!! <P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.

To the top for Kat!!!

Thanks lostva, I was looking in July and augusta and it was in september <P>I can now, save it.<BR>Big Hug<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.

To Kat and Lostva,<P>I missed that one the first time I think. That or I was so deep into the devastation and that time that it is one of the many things I have forgotten. <P><B>Thankyou so much for bringing it to the top and sharing it with us.</B> It gives so much hope to me and a joyous feeling inside.<P>I pray that this kind of ending is what happens for all of us. Aaahhhhh wouldn't that be nice?<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Dear Kat1:<BR>Does anyone have a tissue, honk, honk. Thanks for such a lovely and endearing story. Wow, I wish that my husband was like that now. They are very lucky and ended back together because of her perseverance. But, unfortunelty, it doesn't always end up that way, even with the many members trying like Elsye has...That is so romantic and loving. Sometimes the everyday hussles and bustles makes us forget what is really important, until you stop and smell the flowers.

Samantha and Katya, reading this story always makes me feel so good inside. I'm glad you feel the same.<P>I know that unfortunately this doesn't happen to everybody, even to those who try, but knowing that it can happen gives us the nice feeling and gets the hope back sometimes.<BR>And yes, do I wish that it could happen like this to all of us.<BR>Take care girls<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.