Pilot's Wife, Sheba, and trustntruth,<P>Thanks much for the words of encouragement and the hugs.<P>Sheba,<P>Sorry, I was having one of those "Gee, I feel sorry for myself kind of days." Although, it's difficult to not feel foolish for not having a single clue for all these years. I guess he was just extra sneaky and/or cautious.<P>You had asked how it cam about that I finally after 10+ years found out about my H and his secret life. How this all came about is she called me and told me to tell my H to stop calling her. When I asked who was speaking, she replied, "His girlfriend" and hung up. Well, thanks to technology (Caller ID) I was able to find out who she was. Actually, I do know who she is as I remember her from High School. Any way, I confronted My H and of course, he denied having anything to do with her, etc. After many days of him avoiding me and getting angry when I would bring it up he finally came up with this story. He said that yes, I know her and Yes, I have talked to the scumbag (his words) a few times over the years. She has been stalking me for many, many years and last night when she called me at work, I told her to leave me alone and not call me ever again. He then told me that she said "You'll be sorry. I'm going to get even with you." This might have been a believable story had he told me this when I first confronted him, but after a week; I found it rather hard to digest. But, it was almost Christmas and we were expecting a housefull of people, so I decided to let it go for the time being. Except for one thing: I sent her the following note; "If you know what is good for you, you will leave my husband alone. Don't call him or contact him in any way, you fat, psycho, freak!" I know this was really mean, but I thought that if his story was true, she may be a bit intimidated. But, if his story was just that; a story, she would be super pissed off and contact me again. Well, needless to say she called me again and started her conversation with "Listen here, Clueless! Your husband is the one who called me for all these years." She then told me the entire sordid story. Next she sent me copies of notes he had written (from 1987 - to 1998!). So there was no way he could deny it any longer. Some of them were very explicit. Also, since she was afraid he might come after her due to being so angry because she had told me about his secret life, she got a restraining order. So, if it wasn't traumatic enough for me to learn of this, it certainly was when the Sheriff showed up at my door with the papers. And as they say, the rest is history. We tried to figure out what her motivation was in telling me. My H said she never asked him to stop calling her. However, a few times she had hung up on him - but that was part of the "game". But, he also said that one of the last times he called her, a guy answered. I think what hapened is her boyfriend found out about my H and her and she had to cover it up by saying my H was a stalker and had been harassing her for years. I know he is not a stalker. Why did she wait 10+ years, why do they know so much about each other, etc. Any way, a few months later we saw that she did finally get married (she is 43 and this is her first marriage). It's rather ironic, but I actually felt a bit sorry for my H due to her turning on him. Anyway, that's it in a nutshell. Bizarre, but true. Who knows why she kept copies of 14 yr old notes. But, then again, who knows why Monica kept the blue dress...She also kept a recorded phone message from him, and kept a log of all the times he called (for the past 2 years or so). It's almost like she was planning all along to blackmail him or something. Any way, thanks for asking. <BR>Sign me,<BR>"No longer Clueless about his long-term affair...just devastated."
