Georgia:

I liked your Goldfinger post better than your second post.

I hate the thought for her to have satisfaction out of anything.

You said:



I admire you if you are at a forgiving place with the OM. I know that I am not. I want her to suffer and I hope she is suffering like she caused me to suffer. I agree with the fact that she is a nonperson but for me she is the only nonperson there is and she exists. Make sense? I also heard her try to exacerbate the situation by begging him to leave me again...."I'm the only one that loves you": "You still have feelings for her?" YUK.

So, 2 LONG:
I fully understand your resentment. I know that I will eventually let this go but it is so painful. I just hate it that this all had to happen.

BTW, my pink sunglasses are COOL!! FWH says, Don't forget your sunglasses! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Small frames, stylish, match my complexion.....

I know that you struggle through this, Mimi. You reported that a LONG time ago. I wish I could wave the majic wand and clear OW from your mind. However, don't put me on the pedestal for forgiveness. Any one area that I seem to have under control is replaced by 3 others that seem to smother me.

I had hoped to watch Man On Fire last night, but I spent about 2 hours balancing finances (after church). Hey, I discovered that I'm a lot poorer than I thought once I balanced the checkbook. That $4K in lawyers fee's really took a bite. I may have to take up a collection!! (Just kidding, all the big bills are paid and I can start recovering now).

And...then I played with my new camera for a while. I am going to enjoy that a lot. I went outside last night and took pictures in the "night" mode. Since I know you are a photo buff too..it can be fully automatic or selectable shutter / aperature priority settings just like a normal 35mm SLR. Very cool. (much more than pink sunglasses).

Jeb and I have been invited to have dinner with #1S/DIL tonight. DIL was at the vet yesterday with granddog and they had a puppy that was needing a home. So...DIL adopted it. I've seen pictures already, he's really cute but is part boxer so he'll be a sizeable dog. Jeb will meet him tonight.

Perhaps if I'm not out too late I can watch MOF tonight.

Man, I get my fingers going and I can't quit. FIL is having a stress test today to see if he's fit enough for back surgery in 2 weeks. And...MIL is having some sort of out patient procedure today (not quite sure what) having to do with the uterus. If they are okay, #1S/DIL are going over to visit them this weekend.

Georgia....

Mimi, you are killing me with the pink sunglasses!!!! All I can think of is Barbie - but I don't think you're blonde.

I bet they look adorable on you - It takes a certain personality to wear "pink"!! It's one of my favorite colors too, and I have to tell you that when I have a choice to make regarding a color and I want to be SURE none of my boys will touch it (i.e. toothbrush) all I have to do is choose pink and they RUN!!!

Pink sunglasses??? I've never seen pink sunglasses!!

Regarding OW...My d-day is just over 3 years now, and I have to say that only in the last 6 months have I been at peace with OW, not hating her guts.

Because like 2long said - if it hadn't been her it would have been someone else. Also OP are convenient scapegoats for us to vent all the negative emotions towards...

I have often wondered what I would say/do if I ran into my OW. I haven't seen her since before d-day; but I've run various scenarios through my my head for all the possibilities.

I have permanently engraved in my head exactly the last time I saw her; it was before d-day and we made eye contact. Smug **tch is what I now recall, but I don't honestly know if that is true. It just surprises me her nerve....but I truly believe she was in love with my H, so I shouldn't be surprised.

Anyway, hope you drive a white convertable when you wear those sunglasses; I picture a bright sunny day, Pacific Coast Highway etc!!!

CSUE:

I really appreciate your post. You really understand! You are me and your FOW is my FOW. It helps to know that I am not alone and that one day I will be like you. Thanks.

LOL! I am far from being a BARBIE. However, I must confess that the sunglasses are "GIRL'S SHADES", probably meant for preteens. Who would know if they fit my face and look stylish enough? They are fun! I also have a fuschia purse that I carry often. I'm always working on making joy after suffering so much pain. I found the "shades" at Walmart by the way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Also, BTW, my car is sort of like a sportscar but not a convertible. I forgot to mention how it is all shiny, kept waxed and cleaned by my FWH who picks it up weekly from my office parking lot to get it done. That should give me great satisfaction regarding the car. Her car is old and cruddy and dirty. So there! That feels better!

Thanks again......

GO GET YOU SOME "SHADES", GIRLFRIEND!!!!

Mimi, Ooooooooooooooh!!!!!!!!!

I just can't resist telling you this - my OW actually LIVES in a trailer park!!! It's way on the other side of town, and I had to drive by it several times right after d-day. That's when I learned what self-control was, because I didn't DO anything but drive by. I guess I needed to see the scene of the crime!!

I was actually proud of myself for finding out exactly where she lived. I went into this intense detective mode that I didn't even know existed!! Then I had to work on breaking the habit of driving way over there.

The urge would start as I headed down my street to go wherever....

Funny thing is, that before d-day we ran into her at all kinds of places - just flukes. We'd stop and chat etc...and since d-day, we've NEVER seen her. Well except the times H saw her when she accompanied her mother for her appts to see him. That's what caused me to write her and tell her exactly what I would do if she EVER pulled that again! She was conveniently dressed to KILL when she pulled that stuff.

Ok, I'm probably going to get busted by someone for walking on the wild side with the above negativity - so I apologize in advance!

Back to pink!!! I'll bet you're hot with the pink sunglasses, fushia purse - in a sparkling clean sports car!! I think you should start an MB Club that requires members to wear pink sunglasses around town!!! I'll be checking out a few pair myself!! I can just hear my 10 & 12 year old now.....it's so easy to embarrass them these days - just being normal me!!! This will kill them!!

You said:

The urge would start as I headed down my street to go wherever...

CSUE:

Did you follow my drama a few years ago? Don't you remember how I used to do the drivebys? I just really got a handle on this recently. I've continued to have the strong urge to driveby her house. Unfortunately, now she knows the kind of car I drive....

She doesn't live in a trailerpark BUT she lives in a neighborhood where I shouldn't be driving at nignt. I'm glad my car never broke down. AAA probably wouldn't have come. Can you believe my FHW moved in with her there? I still can't get over that. I want to know how her house looked inside. I can't imagine him living like that. He is so into my GODDESS WAYS!! He says that it was at least "CLEAN IN THERE".

YEP! Check out the Walmart and Target sunglasses. They are fun and cheap. They come in all colors.

Is this a certain syndrome or are you me and my FOW is your FOW?

Go ahead and walk on the wild side with your negativity. I certainly will be glad to join with you in that exercise. I continue to hate the FOW as you can tell!!

I sometimes wish she would show up at my house. I heard that you could attack someone who trespasses.

Okay, girls...I don't mind the negativity, I don't mind the FOW talk...I don't mind the sportscar talk, and I can even handle the "pink sunglasses" (from Wal-Mart???).

But...the fuschia purse talk has got to stop !! (What real MAN would allow the word "fuschia" to be used on his thread?).

Georgia

CSue:

"Anyway, hope you drive a white convertable when you wear those sunglasses; I picture a bright sunny day, Pacific Coast Highway etc!!!"

You kidding? Have *I* got the *perfect* car for mimi 2 drive in her pink sunglasses!!

Years ago, when I was a pump jockey at an Exxon station (sign of the 2ble cross!), a customer/friend came in on a sunny Sa2rday afternoon in his GEM of a vehicle - a bright red 1960 Chrysler 300 convertible with pink leather upholstery. Car looked like it had just been driving off the showroom floor and only had a few thousand miles on it (even though it was about 14 years old at the time). I bet it doesn't have many more miles on it even now.

When you get the chance, look it up. I bet it would fit mimi's sunglasses 2 a tee! (especially if you were 2 add a pink or red silk scarf!)...

Like THIS one! But with pink interior instead of black! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />:

http://www.chrysler300club.com/photos/300g.htm

-ol' 2long

Isn't a FUSCHIA a plant????

I never knew they came in purses. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I think FGG has some reason for concern that this thread is drifting into?????...I don't know...fuschia. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

JL

PS: Did anyone notice but one of my favorite icons, THE EEK is gone?

OK! Is a HOT PINK HANDBAG acceptable? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Okay, I'll go with Hot Pink (with Cool Pink sunglasses?).

Why can't you girls be more like us guys? I like 100% cotton pants and shirts, thick, prefer Eddie Bauer brand. Earth tone colors (dark green, brown, maybe dark red).

Nothing, I repeat nothing, using any shade of pink in any form or fashion.

I think it's about time for you to stretch outside of your comfort zone!

I think LAND'S END has [color:"pink"] [/color] PINK men's shirts!

Take a walk on the wild side! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Wild side? I wouldn't call wearing a pink shirt "wild", I'll call it...well, never mind.

However, I do have this occasional desire to grow my hair long (again - like in my teen years), except in like a "pony tail". (Is that what they call if when on men?).

I do have a very wild Hawaiin-like print shirt that #2S/DIL gave me for Father's Day last year. I've got to be in a bit of a jovial mood to wear it, I've not worn it since Plan B. Jovial moods have been in short supply as of late.

Hummm...let me see....pony tail, pottery, wild print shirt...maybe I really AM going through my MLC !!

Man...this new board is the pits. I keep getting logged out and losing my most recent posts.

I have an appointment tomorrow at 1:00 PM with the counselor that I started out with last summer. This will be for IC, not MC. I suspect that he will be pretty good for me now, not too good on serious, complex issues like WW and I were having.

Georgia

Georgia:
Your DIL was trying to throw you a hint! An Hawaiian shirt is "in-style" these days. That's not considered WILD! Georgia, you've got to STRETCH OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE!! Go ahead, give in to the MLC! EMBRACE CHANGE

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

FGG,
it is good to see you have kept your sense of humor. In fact, I think it helps so much to continue to poke fun at ourselves, and things around us.

I have done some thinking about Reggie and his Mom. Having worked with boys, and trained Boy Scout leaders for going on 25 years now, I think there are some things you can do to create a relationship if you don't mind making a few phone calls.

I suggest calling Reggie's mom - or talking to her when she is coming or going. Tell her you understand her feelings, and that you know it's hard to know how people are going to be by looking at them. Explain that you noticed there is not a dad in the home, and that you don't intend to take that place, but you felt you it might be good for both of you to play ball, and do things that boys usually do. (you can explain as much about what is going on in your life as you felt would help the situation.)

Give her the number of an official in your church that knows you well - as a reference, so she can check up on you, and encourage her to call them.

Even if she says no, it may help for a good future relationship - it always helps to put people at ease, the world being what it is these days.

Now, if you ever get out west, I have some suggestions to places you can go to try out your camera. I live 45 min from a major National park. Since I am banned from fishing trips, I'll invite you for a photography trip.

Mimi -
It was interesting to read your comments on meeting OW in the road. I tend to think (after reading your posts for many months) that you wouldn't hurt her even if you could get away with it.

I do know that we all have our own education to complete before we leave this school we are attending. The tests are varied, and they seem to fit our individual abilities very well. I believe you will get high marks. I think that's the kind of person you are (and FGG too, while I am talking about it.)

I am glad you have a place to vent your feelings, and glad you do so with such humor. Remember the rest of us are being tested too - and we understand.

You asked once about going to church. I have thought about it a great deal. If you look abound you can see evil exerting itself in the all the world on a huge scale. There is such a thing as good, and also such a thing as evil. The best being that ever lived organized the church, and asked all to join, and attend. He allowed no exceptions, not even himself. I don't know all the reasons, but I strongly believe that random individual goodness is not enough in the fight against evil.

I think it important for us to belong, attend, and to do a share of the work in helping others. Many organizations do some good, but God himself organized a church to do the most important work in the world - Save the souls of mankind.

You can judge a group of people by their fruits - that was his criteria for his people. Also he said "if ye are not one, ye are not mine." We are human, but those who truly serve him are working to overcome their weaknesses and help others around them. I think if you look, and pray you will be able to find people that think as you do. I have prayed that you would be able to, I will continue to do so.

Thanks for letting me post FGG, I turn 50 this year, and I identify with you, and Mimi quite well.

SS

Good Morning all -

I had a wonderful time with #1S/DIL and DIL's G/M last night. Their new dog is cute, but of course Jeb stole the show. Getting him was the best thing I have done since being out on my own. He's a great dog and seems to appreciate having a loving home as much as I appreciate him. I'll miss him while I'm gone.

#1S gave me lots of pointers on the camera. I'm trying to avoid that phone book of a manual if I can.
Mimi....I've a suggestion for your GODDESS club. Perhaps you can have something like an "apprentice" program, kinda like you full-fledged GODDESSES can mentor GODDESSES in the making or GODDESS wannabes. What do you think? I know there are FOW out there who would LOVE to attain full GODDESS status.

And...a theme song for your "club". Remember the song "Cheap Sunglasses"? I forget who sang it, but it goes through my head everytime I you mention those pink sunglasses.

SS - It's nice to hear from you again. Many of your suggestions about Reggie's mom is what I did when I met her several weeks ago. Told her a little of my sitch, told her I had 2 grown boys, have been involved with youth, etc. I'll give it some time then go back over and attack her again. Perhaps give her a business card with the name / phone number of my church on the back for 2 refs.

Thanks for the encouragement on the church issue too. I somtimes forget that we don't have to "re-justify" what God has already said. To borrow from Nike: "Just Do It".

And..there are many places I'd like to go out west that I've not been. I consider SF (the city, not the EA) to be the most beautiful city I've ever visited. I want to see San Diego, not been there yet. And...the other western states beckon me too. Many great photo ops out there for sure. New Mexico was wonderful last year. I may have to (even though it seems awkward) have a personal vacation this year. Right now I've got 29 days to use in the next 9 months, plus about 3 weeks of holidays, personal days, etc.

On other news, I've basically lost my voice today. Happens every year about this time when the pollen is so thick you can see it in the air. If I can't talk soon, I may have to cancel the counserlor appt. today.

Georgia

AND.... Mimi..I got to thinking about the shirt issue. Last summer I enjoyed wearing that shirt while driving the T-Bird with the top down. MLC to the max, wouldn't you say? Perhaps I need to work on getting comfortable in that role again. (Hawaiian shirt and '97 Accord just isn't as cool!).

Georgia:

What you do is to wear the Hawaiian shirt and then periodically VISUALIZE yourself driving around in the T-BIRD. You can tell that I've been reading a lot of self-help books! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Mimi -

Another suggestion for you. How about the first web-based chapter of the Red Hat Society? In case you're not familiar with RHS, I'm sure they have a web-site. As far as I know, their only requirement is you must be 50 y.o., sot that may present a problem. However, I think they have "junior" organization known as the Purple Hat Society.

Just a thought for you GODDESSES.

Georgia