You met this guy on the internet, and it was wonderful. You invited him to move in with you. Suddenly, it wasn't so wonderful. You wanted to know why, and that led you to discover he had lied about his past - totally fabricated it, in fact.<P>You at least partially understood his reasons for lying, and decided you could live with it. Your main problem is, he refuses to have sex with you (because he's got a heart problem). You've spent the last year and a half going to hell and back and to hell and back and to hell and back again. Things appear to be improving. You think you might make it.<P>Then one day you reach into your boyfriend's truck to get something and find a condom (unused) - in plain view, screaming "Hey, look at me." You ask him about it. He says it's not his, he found it under the seat when he cleaned out the truck.<P>It does appear to have been kicking around quite a while, but still you can't help remembering how you once found another condom in his briefcase, and how it wasn't there the next time you looked (though it could be he threw it away after you confronted him about it).<P>You also remember how a couple of those trips to hell and back were over flirting and corresponding with women on the internet. You remember the time he placed a nasty man-seeking-man ad on Yahoo! Personals, then claimed it was to catch you spying on him. You also remember how, the last time you discovered a couple of new email girlfriends, you also found some evidence of correspondence with men in his personals mailbox - nothing from him, just from them. It appeared he had been trying to arrange a meeting with one of them. It occurred to you to see if these men had placed ads. One is gay and lives in your town; the other is married and bisexual, and visits your town regularly.<P>Your boyfriend fessed up to the women, claiming they were out of boredom (while you were away on business trips) and/or spite (trying to catch you spying). He denied any and all knowledge of correspondence with men. You emailed both men; only one (the married/bi one) replied. He claimed not to remember much except your boyfriend had told a very convincing ****sucking story, but declined to forward any of your boyfriend's messages to you to prove it. He was very coy and tried to hit on you, too.<P>Despite the evidence, you concluded your boyfriend is not gay and chose to believe he was just being spiteful and trying to catch you spying. You changed your password and made it so you have to enter it to get online, and since then you've had some peace of mind.<P>Of course, all of this has been in the back of your mind, along with the fact that your boyfriend seems to be extraordinarily well informed on what goes on in prisons and public bathrooms.<P>Now you're having this conversation about the condom in the truck. Your boyfriend reminds you that you have a whole box of condoms in your bathroom cabinet. You remember that yes, in fact, you do - box of 12. One you used, 4 or 5 years ago; another one, you carried around in your purse until it disintegrated. You happen to know there were still several in the box since your boyfriend moved in, because you looked and thought about throwing them away.<P>Later, you check your bathroom cabinet and find an empty box. Your 10-year-old son SWEARS he didn't take them.<P>What do YOU think?<P>------------------<BR>--Girlfriend in a coma (I know, I know it's serious)

I think you know the answer, you already admitted he is a liar. No men that I know even joke around about being gay. You should be glad you are not having sex with him. Get him away from your son! If your son is gullible as you are you could be asking for trouble.

I agree. I think you know the answer from the title of your post. Protect your son! If he's lied to you about other things, and may be into something like this, who knows what else could be going on.<P>I wish you the best & I will pray for you and your son.<P>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Not qualified to offer my opinion here, but I feel for you.<P>Just bringing this to the top, does anyone have any constructive advice for girlfriend other than protect her son? Don't think the guy's a pedophile or anything.

Your boyfriend sounds delusional and untrustworthy. He has admitted to not trusting you, but expects you to believe him blindly. Ask him what he has to hide?<BR>You have got to move on, girl, there is a whole other life out there, and your prince is waiting. The comfort zone you're in right now is not really that much comfort if you have to worry about what he's doing and how he's looking at what you're doing. Give it up, there is no trust now and there will never be. And living like that is too hard for you and your son, I know, have been there. The comfort zone falls away, and you're more comforted alone then you ever were with the semi-significant other.

She met the guy on the internet and now he's not interested in her sexually and is showing signs of homosexuality !<BR>This is how some of the pedo's work. They worm their way into a family where there is vulnerable boy, whcih may be the case as there isn't a father in the picture.<BR>There is an interesting and sickening article in Sports Illustrated about how pedo's are infiltrating youth sports because there usually are no background checks, parents inherently trust coaches, kids trust the coaches and some parents use sports as a babysitting service so the pedo's have easy access to numbers of kids!<BR>I wouldn't want to take the chance with my kids! Anybody acting weird around my kids is gone !

GF - Having had a ten-year-old son not all that long ago, I'm inclined to think HE did do it. Let me tell you MY amusing story, which, I think, makes a case for not taking adolescent sex TOO seriously! Sometime after I'd divorced my 1st W but wasn't living very far away from her, I got this frantic phone call from my son (then in G11 or G12), "Dad, I keep hearing these funny noises outside. I think maybe there's a burglar!" So, of course, I say, "I'll be right over." My 1st W is out of town "on business" and my teenage son is staying at our old house. I pull into the driveway, run up to the the front door, frantically knock, and then, all of a sudden, notice there are four teenage young women kind of lounging around outside. I ask them what they're doing there? They tell me they're waiting for my son! (These are all cheerleader types, I have to say - he's on his H.S. hockey team.) OK, so I go up and pound on the door and I hear, "Who's that?" in my son's voice. I say, "It's me." He finally comes to the front door, opens it, says, "Hi dad." Then I hear this young woman's voice from down the hall calling his name, and he says something like "Sorry, dad. Gotta go." I just about fell off the front steps laughing, especially because there were other young women waiting outside (whom he thought were burglars!) My 1st W and I were breaking up because of her cheating, yet somehow I found hope in the realization that my son, at least, was so attractive to women (= teenagers, in this case) that they lined up outside our house to spend time with him in bed! And he wasn't even a rock star! (Though he did star on his H.S. hockey team!)<P>For whatever this story is worh,<P>--Wex<P>Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

hello girlfriend...the condomes could very well be the 10 yr old. Kids do interesting things. Talk to him about it! <BR>I think you already know the answer to the rest of the issues raised. So, what you are really asking is what to do about it? This sounds a little more unstable to me than a man having affairs. Too many inconsistencies. Especially when kids are involved. Follow your gut! cl

Thanks for the REASONABLE and CONSTRUCTIVE replies. Anybody whose reply doesn't fit into those categories, worry about your own life.<P>I do suspect my son, though not first - let's not forget about the condoms I found in my bf's briefcase and truck, not to mention his other lies and weirdness. I grilled my son, even promised him I wouldn't be mad (assuming if he did take them, it was for something like water balloons). And he swears he didn't even know they were there, much less take them out of the cabinet.<P>The circumstantial evidence points heavily in the direction of my boyfriend. The man has put me through hell. For anybody who's interested and has the time and fortitude to read it, the full story is on Resolving Conflict.<P>This thing with the rubbers is the last straw. Until the other day, I never actually thought he might be screwing around - now I do, and I can't live with that. I'm going to have to ask him to leave.<P>------------------<BR>--Girlfriend in a coma (I know, I know it's serious)