Good Morning to all -

Thank you all for your comments yesterday. It was a bit of a stressful day with the visit from WW Monday night. I appreciate the input and insight of each of you.

Yesterday just before I left, my desk phone rang and I answered it. It was WW. She asked me a very mundane question having to do with the house and the builder. I couldn't believe she would call me after Monday night. I think that may another effor to get her foot back in the door, of course with no change on the OM front.

I stopped by the law enforcement center on the way home yesterday and picked up a copy of the police report. I am curious to see what my attorney is going to say about this incident. I am thinking about asking him about a restraining order to keep her from appearing again. What I am really concerned about is that when Attack Dog gets my financial records, she is going to know where I am attending church. I don't want WW showing up at church all the time now that I am getting myself established there.

In other news....

CASA training last night was really good. I am excited about this as I know this is something that I am going to really enjoy. I am impressed by the knowledge of the coordinators and the work they do. SHMI - I didn't realize until last night that this is a nationwide program. How long have you been a volunteer?

GOOD MORNING MIMI-

"How do you explain the part of you that talked to her for 2 hours and wanted to wrap your arms around her?"

How to explain? Well, it is not hard to see her and remember her as "pre-alien" days. To suggest that I no longer care for her would be a gross exaggeration. I would LOVE to wrap my arms around her, but I know that as I hold her I would get to hear all about OM and how he can be my friend too.

Does that make sense?

Georgia

Hi Georgia:

I decided that I'm going to stop asking you such questions.

It's very obvious, in my opinion, that you are handling a DIFFICULT situation, WONDERFULLY! That's the BOTTOM LINE....

Try to HAVE FUN, NO MATTER WHAT!

OK?

CASA is a national organization, but is used differently in each region/state/district...depending on the need in that state or what the judge wants to use them for. Some are used strictly for DCFS cases, some are brought into custody cases too. Some states only use Guardian Ad Litems (A CASA with a law degree). Some cases can last for a few years...

If you get a chance, rent the movie "White Oleander".

Wow! I found WHITE OLEANDER to be a POWERFUL movie about emotional abuse, mother/daughter relationship and the child welfare/foster care system.

SHMI -

From what I learned last night, the judge makes the family very aware that the CASA volunteer works directly for him. I think they are only used in DFCS cases here, and most involve pre-teen kids. Apparently drug / sexual abuse is a big issue in many of these cases.

I will keep in mind the movie to rent when I can.

Georgia

Here is a short synopsis of "White Oleander" You decide when a right time to watch it will be...

White Oleander tells the unforgettable story of Astrid, a girl whose odyssey through a series of Los Angeles foster homes - each its own universe with its own laws, its own dangers, its own hard lessons to be learned - becomes a redeeming journey of self-discovery. Based on the acclaimed best-selling novel by Janet Fitch, White Oleander follows a young woman's journey through hardship and loss to maturity, joy and true independence.

After her uncompromising but seductive mother Ingrid (MICHELLE PFEIFFER) kills her boyfriend for abandoning her, fifteen-year-old Astrid (ALISON LOHMAN) witnesses her mother's arrest. It's an event that will change the course of both their lives. Suddenly, young Astrid is on her own.

Shuttled through a series of foster homes (and foster mothers including ROBIN WRIGHT PENN and RENÉE ZELLWEGER), Astrid struggles to master the techniques she needs if she's to survive the unyielding and often harsh world she is thrust into. Astrid tries desperately to forge her own identity within her ever-changing environment. From behind bars, Ingrid's powerful influence is the only constant in Astrid's life. For good, and for bad...

In the three years that mark her passage from child to adult, Astrid must learn the value of independence and courage, rage and forgiveness, love and survival, to earn her freedom from the past.

I had a great post the other day about controlling other people and lost it...I'll see if I can reproduce it here.

There is PERCEIVED control, and ACTUAL control.

A person makes choices and decisions based on consequences, good or bad, or habits, or morals, right or wrong.

When someone says we are controlling, it is the PERCIEVED control we have over them. A person weighs the consequences and wants a certain outcome.

When we are M we learn early what a person's hopes and fears are and we can use them to manipulate them to our will. Let's take out the thought that manipulation is a bad thing...it's the motive or intention that can be bad...(a chiropractor manipulates a spine for healing, etc...)

So dissecting a given situation, a kid goes to a candy store, doesn't have enough money for her favorite candy bar, thinks of stealing but decides against...because she doesn't want to get into trouble, arrested, ashamed, etc. It is easy for her to blame the store owner or the legal system or laws for her actions...but ultimately it is HER choice.

So it becomes a fine line when someone says we are controlling. And means that they are blaming us for their decisions that they are not strong enough to stand up for...

Your WW is evidently strong enough to not be controlled by continuing C with the Canadian rutting moose (sorry). And if you TOLD her not to go out with GF and she didn't, was that YOUR choice?

I think she doesn't like the consequences of her actions, therefore she is blaming you for the pain she is feeling, and trying to make you change your mind by shaming you into thinking you are 'controlling'... Don't bite that hook.

You are doing a GREAT job.

How did things go with your old minister talking with her?

And, once again, I think it would be beneficial to talk with OMW, just to let her know what is going on, the D and all...she may be submissive (cultural thing) but us womenesss tend to have more strength than you give us credit for...

SHMI -

I know that we all have our faults. But, I'm going to take the license for self-evaluation (always a risky proposition) and say that I AM NOT a controlling person.

I think WW has had the freedom to do whatever she wishes to do with her life, and I would gladly support her or encourage her in any way possible. However, I couldn't do things for her, she would have to do it herself.

An example...I remember how many times I encouraged her to go back to college and finish her degree. I always was willing to keep the kids, let her go to nightschool, however she wanted to do it. But...I never could get her to even visit the local college to talk to the admissions folks about the possibility.

And now what do I hear? She blames me for her not finishing her college education. She has told me that she was so devoted to her family, that now she can't support herself. She points out that I finished my degree, but she never had the opportunity to do so.

It is indeed frustrating....

I think I'll eat lunch.

Georgia

Yep, it's all your fault...do you feel like Superman, tha power you weilded over her all these years...???? The way you picked up that phone, called those OM's numbers, held it up to her ear and MADE her listen? The way you have telepathically spoken hateful words through her mouth about DIL and estranged her family? I'll bet you could move mountains, ignite armies, take the candy coating off an M&M.

What POWER!!!

And yet, you can't 'make' her end the R with OM... because then she would have to admit that *maybe* you were right...

My picture:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mb_georgiaguy/detail?.dir=99a9&.dnm=2637.jpg

Just a Reminder:

Do not analyze the FOGGY BRAIN which is attempting to rewrite history.

My H had to laugh at himself the other day. He was repeating one of his A tales about "our history". I reminded him that it didn't happen that way. He laughed, embarassed, and said soemthing to this effect: "I had almost convinced myself that what I was saying was true. You're right, it didn't happen that way! Did It?"

HAVE FUN, NO MATTER WHAT!!

Very good picture of you!!


Who are you going to moon today?

In recent days, I've given up mooning, cut my hair, shaved, showered, pulled out some of my hair, and dyed some of what remains grey.

Not to mention adding a few pounds....

Well...off to the attorney's office.

I get nervous every time I have to do this.

Georgia

Good luck Georgia!

Thanks, cc...

A very brief update.

The attorney asked how many times she has shown up uninvited at various places. So I told him about her appearances at the apartment, the house, and pottery class. He pulled out his big law book and read the definition of stalking. He said she has crossed the line and is stalking me. He said his first step is to write a letter to Attack Dog (my words) advising her of this and asking that her client have no further unwanted contact with me. He said if it continues, we will take it to the judge and let her deal with it with a restraining order. He said that if I have to call the police again, she will likely be arrested.

I asked how all of this plays into the divorce, if at all. He said the judge is likely to consider her actions when considering division of property, but by Ga law she has to receive at least 40%.

I reviewed his inventory of all the stuff that we are sending in response to her "notice of discovery".

That is about it for the attorney visit. I spent a very busy evening at home with laundry, ironing, and cleaning. Finished watching "The Patriot" last night.

Georgia

Oops!!! EDITED to add "GOOD MORNING MIMI"

I thought I would try to view the BellSouth account again. So, I tried to re-register the account on-line as the only thing you need is the phone #, s.s. #, and zip code. When I tried, I got a message that said "The owner of this account has requested that it be protected by a secret password".

So much for wanting to "work on the M".

Georgia

Well, FGG, what did you really expect?

That isn't working on the M, it'd be a show of good faith if it was available.

And... ...good save on the Morning Mimi thing! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

-ol' 2long

Thanks, 2Long -

It reminds me of more of the same. Started with password protected e-mail accounts about 5 years ago.

I think she may not understand that NC means "NO CONTACT", and not "NO CHANGE".

I hope I got the GODDESS SALUTATION inserted in time....

Georgia

"I hope I got the GODDESS SALUTATION inserted in time...."

I think so, but if we keep talking about it, Mimi's gonna know you almost slipped up!

-ol' 2long <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />