Good Morning all -

cc - It has occurred to met that this is a test as to whether or not everything happens for a reason (as I've said I believe). Does this mean the poor guy may have dropped dead of a heart attack just for me? Oh well...

Needless to say, it sure is frustrating.
Three times now I've had the last minute "get ready" meeting with my attorney and finalized all details.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. It would be nice if we could at least use this extra time to come to a firm agreement on ALL matters, financial and otherwise.

GOOD MORNING, MIMI....

Georgia

or satanic......

Its a coincidence and nothing more. Im very sorry that you have to wait 21 more days.

Good Morning to all -

I go another e-mail from WW on Friday saying that she thinks we should reach an agreement out of court. So, I e-mailed her back and told her that I needed her comments on the split of our financial assets (50 / 50) and alimony. Nothing back from her so far.

I spent Saturday working on the deck. It's been too wet to paint and stain, so I installed the lighting. I've got say that I love it.

I put landscape lights around the pond and a couple of small "sconce" type lights on the bridge to illuminate it at night. I put a spot light on the big vase as well as on the stream. Also, on the long side of the deck where the decorative windows will be placed, I installed spot lights to illuminate the windows (when they are installed).

All of these lights are on a timer.

In the tree over the deck I put 300 miniature white Christmas lights. These are interfaced to a remote control receiver which I can turn on / off with a remote control. It is cool, if I do say so myself.

This morning I cooked breakfast and ate out on the deck along with my morning Bible reading. I love it. It is the epitome of peaceful. If I could just stay right there on that deck, listening to the water and watching the fish, I could get off of Lexapro.

GOOD MORNING MIMI.....

Georgia

Georgia I'm so glad you are enjoying life.

I envy you. I can't seem to find joy, although I try.

Hi cc -

Don't give me too much credit. There are some things that I enjoy A LOT, like home improvements. I'm having a great time with that deck. I'm anxious to have friends over for dinner, maybe even small parties, now that fall is approaching.

And...I'm watching more and more TV / movies. In the past week I've watched 3 movies. Very rare for me.

But, I still have my rough times, too. Last Thursday was one of the hardest days I've had in a long time. I was nearly overwhelmed with depression and feelings of anxiety. I wonder what how I will cope when I am off the AD's.

Are you still enjoying your new job? You're an MD, right? You must be a blessing to many people in your occupation.

Georgia

I am an md but I practice public health so I don't actually treat people
I'm stuck in forcing myself to do things without really enjoying them yet. The job is great and I'm very thankful for it because it is exciting and can even be fun sometimes, but my heart is still not in it.

I's still faking it hoping I will make it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I can rationally undertsand everything and I know I am doing what is best, but emotionally I'm very far from recovering and it will be 1 year this coming 23rd!

Somehow I feel that until I divorce I won't be able to get on with my life.

I've been thinking of waiting the 2 years many mention, but most times I don't think I'll be able to last that long, I don't even feel I want WH back, but I'm stuck trying to do the "right" thing to make the marriage survive <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

So I go back to tellig myself I only have to wait for a few more months, until january to start the divorce and end this torture!

I'm very glad you can do better. I feel a bit of a failure, and I refuse to take ads.

cc -

I wish I knew the answers to much of this stuff, but I don't.

Yesterday on the way home from church I caught myself singing along with a song on the radio. It struck me how nice it was to be able to sing along with a song and enjoy it. For a long time, I would ride in the car without the radio on because my thoughts were so permeated with WW and OM. I couldn't enjoy music, now I can.

One of the things SH told me to do during Plan B was to start new things that I had wanted to do, but not do things that would exclude WW if we got back together. That is basically what got me started in pottery and CASA, these were things I'd been wanting to do a long time but the "situation" made it hard to do.

I know you still have children at home and that certainly complicates matters greatly.

I'm currently looking at 2 more things that I hope will be beneficial to me.

Even with the proding of Mimi, I'm still not able to motivate myself to get back into my exercise regiment. I've really turned into a slob (IMO) and I don't like the feeling of being overweight. In the neighborhood I'm in, there is (as you can imagine) not any private health clubs. However, one of the local hospitals operates a major health center right downtown (about 2 miles from my house) that keeps long hours and has a professional staff. I'm looking into joining that and trying to get back into shape. I feel so much better when I'm fit and trim.

And, I'm thinking about taking some college courses at the local college next semester (January). I really like history and they have 2 courses (U.S. History pre-1877, U.S. History post-1877) that I'd like to take.

Anyway, are there things like this that you would really like to do "just for fun"? For me, keeping my mind off of the whole mess is a big help.

Georgia

The only thing that helps is travelling. When I'm away life isn't real. Unfortunately it's very expensive for me. I have a work related trip probably in december and I'm thinking of taking a trip to Ushuaia in january, for my birthday.

Having kids at home does complicate things. I am making sure they have a home, even if they aren't around that much.

I think that's important.

Okay, I have to confess. I had to GOOGLE Ushuaia to find out what & where that is. That looks like a NEAT trip!! It makes me realize how much of the world I haven't seen and would love to!

Even though the trip to Vancouver certainly wasn't fun, I have to admit that the scenery there is spectacular. I used to think that I would like to travel across northern Canada, end up in Alaska, then take a cruise from there. However, Canada kind of holds bad memories for me right now.

Are you originally from the U.S.? Or, have you traveled here?

I'm originally from here (south america) but I have travelled up north. 2 years ago (when WH was already detaching) we took the transcanadian trip from Vancouver to Toronto. I highly recommend it, anytime of year.

Vancouver has just been named the best city in the world to live in.

Ushuaia is just nearer to home and therefore cheaper for me and one place I would like to visit. Alaska is just too far.

BTW, do you use google.earth?

When you took the transcanadian trip, did you drive or take the train? I've thought a train trip across Canada would be wonderful.

Even though I will probably never go back to Vancouver for obvious reasons, I must admit it is a beautiful city. It was one year ago this month we went. It was hot in GA, we got there and the climate was so nice. Cool and sunny. The night that everything really blew up between OM/WW and me, I went for a long drive and ended up on top of a mountain (Mount Seymour I think was the name of it). There was still snow up there and deer everywhere. When I got to the top I could look down on Vancouver. It was beautiful Stanley Park, the Lion's Gate Bridge, etc. It is a nice place.

And yes, I love google.earth.

Is English your native language?

I can't find it. I found Pico Kater, Bahia Isthmus, Monte Hyde.

Is it near there?

we took the train. It's fabulous. Has all you need, including gourmet food.

spanish is my native language, but I think in english <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> because between the ages of 3 and 12 I lived in USA and Britain.

LOL...speak Spanish but think in English? How does that work? I took some Spanish lessons, but foreign language is not something at which I will EVER excel.

The train across Canada. That sounds absolutely wonderful!! How long did that take?

u have to put ushuaia, argentina

Okay, I found it. That looks like a fabulous trip. A good birthday present to yourself!

Off to lunch.

Georgia

the train trip takes 3 days, but you can get off and take the next train. In our case, we did get out in Edmonton Alberta. it was winter and the low season so the next train came by 3 days later. But that was fine for us.

Good Afternoon to all -

A quick update on some things.

I’ve been feeling kind of down lately, perhaps this constant overcast has something to do with it. But, today the sun is shining and it’s really nice outside.

Well, I’ve finally decided I’ve been too much flubber for too long now. I saw on the local news that the local Y was having a grand opening of a branch location very near to my house. It is actually in an old house that has been remodeled and the garage converted to a fitness center. It is very, very small and they’ve tried to keep the “homey” sort of feel to it.

I took this morning off and took Jeb to be groomed and then went to the Y. I was very, very impressed. It is almost like a “coffee shop” type atmosphere, very cozy. The fitness center has the EXACT same machines (Cybex) that I used at our church and they are open from 6:00 AM – 9:00 PM. The fitness center has a full time attendant (a very nice 50 y.o. divorced lady) and she and I spent about an hour just talking. They have a personal trainer available and I’m setting up an appointment with him to get me started on the right track to get back in shape. (I don’t want any bullies kicking sand in my face at the beach next summer!).

So…I’m on the way to losing this extra bowling ball I’m carrying around.

And….(this is for Mimi), for the past 2 weeks I’ve been having my 100% cotton Eddie Bauer shirts laundered and pressed (medium starch). It’s well worth the $1.50 a shirt. My shirts look good, I feel better, and I don’t have to torture myself into ironing.

This weekend is our church’s big yard sale. I will be working tonight and all day tomorrow helping get ready for it. All money goes to our Honduras Outreach Team (HOT).

So…I may not be back around here until about next Monday. I’ve invited the couple from our former church over for dinner next Monday night. If the weather is good, we’ll eat out on the deck.

GOOD AFTERNOON MIMI....

Georgia