"feel so lethargic and overweight, not good. My body fat is 30.4% and my BMI is 32.5. Ugh..."

What!!! Your not suffering from the classic "Infidelity Diet"!!!

Good Morning to all -

ILF - LOL, I'm not sure what an "infidelity diet" is, but I'm suffering from the "eat ice cream whenever I'm feeling depressed" diet. I've made myself a pact to buy no more ice cream (once I finish the Blue Bell Rocky Road currently in my freezer!).

The workout at the Y felt great yesterday. Again, I was the only person there (except for the girl who staffs the fitness room). I'm planning on going back today and do just the cardio portion.

#1S & DIL cover over last night and we had pizza out on the deck. They stayed about 2 hours and we really enjoyed sitting out there talking. It is so pleasant, cool nights and sit there and hear water all around you . I went out this morning and ate breakfast and had my devotion time on the deck. It is SO nice!!

#1S really seems to be a bit down right now. It troubles me to see him this way, but I'm don't think there is anything I can do about it except to just love him and be there if he needs me.

I'm looking forward to the Bible study next Tuesday night. If the weather is nice, we're going to meet on the deck. The topic of discussion will be forgiveness and grace as relates to those who have wronged us. Interesting subject...I've been surprised (from Mimi's thread) that there are diverse thoughts on this subject.

GOOD MORNING, MIMI.....

Georgia

Mimi....you're in charge for a while, I may take part of / all of next week off. Friday is looking like the real day this time. It's depressing. I may have to go back on the full Lexapro.

Georgia

EDIT - I was kinda fishin', I thought you might be there. Man, this is the most depressed I've been in a long, long time. If I drank, I would be drunk tonight. Fortunately, Carter was president the last time I was drunk....

Oh well, have a good weekend. I'm at work, Jeb is waiting on me in the car..

FGG,

Stop in and let us know how you're doing while you're off, Ok?

Hi CSue...thanks for the concern.

Okay, I'll do that.

Georgia

Hi Georgia,

I'm thinking of you - and praying you'll be OK.

Send me an email if you need somebody to talk to :

[email]mb11094@yahoo.com.[/email]

I'll send you my phone number.

I hope we both can make the Atlanta gathering. I've about decided to bring DD with me - and make the trip through Chattanooga - take her to the aquarium on the way so there'll be something in it for her too.

We'll see. I hope you'll feel up to coming.

Your deck sounds wonderful!

-AD

Georgia,

I will be praying for you to get through this week.

There's not much I can say that might make things better. Only you know what works for you. I have realized that when I'm on the downside of the rollercoaster I should look for something new to get me out. Not do the same things again. If they don't work, change.

I do hope you'll check in.

Just make sure you do what's best for YOU.

Good Morning to everyone....

I'm back at work today. I plan to work today and tomorrow, even though I do have to take off tomorrow morning for my final attorneys' appointment (for the 4th time).

WW left me a voice mail Saturday night saying that she still wanted to resolve this before going back to court. Also, she's had to pay her attorney another $900 (for a total of $3,925 the best I can tell). That is ridiculous.

And...she called me Sunday night, but I didn't answer the phone and she didn't leave a message. I e-mailed her Monday and told her that she needed to respond to my financial & alimony offers with her comments. If we could come to an agreement, I would have my attorney (who seems to be much less expensive) write up the contract and we would resolve it before Friday's court date. However, she has not responded to my e-mail, so it looks like court Friday is where it will all get resolved.

The home Bible study last night was wonderful. We had some very intense discussions about forgiveness. When middle-aged folks who have been through hard times discuss forgiveness, it's not like a casual conversation, it turns personal and emotional real quick. One guy, who has been divorced 17 years (now remarried) said he has never been able to forgive himself for being the husband he was (alcoholic) and destroying his marriage. He is now involved in a ministry to families of recovering alcoholics and doing very good.

Anyway, it was intense to say the least. I've discovered that my new heater isn't heating. Jeb has been snugglin' with me to keep us both warm. I've got to check the pilot light to see if it wasn't lite when the unit was installed.

I am doing pretty good this week, actually much better than I had anticipated so far.

Thanks for the encouragement cc and AD, I truly appreciate it.

GOOD MORNING, MIMI....

Georgia

Georgia,
Your bible group sounds like is a great source of inspiration and strength. I'm looking forward to returning to a routine bible study and devotional time.(we are still 'recovering'from hurricane Rita) I miss the christian discussions on issues such as forgiveness. Sunday's sermon was on anger as a secondary emotion....secondary to primary emotions such as fear, grief, loss of control etc. Forgiveness was suggested as an act of healing for everyone in direct contrast to anger and consequences of anger. IMO, Issues get resovled and fade in our memories, but the emotional pain is not forgotten. When dealing with personal pain, we tend to become protective and distant. Forgiveness is not a single act it is a process of personal healing...it is a daily decision....even if it is for self preservation....again all IMHO. I know as a christian I should forgive unconditionally. I'm working on that.....daily.

Your visits with you son sound very nice. My #1D & GD were home for a month long visit and I miss them dearly. We would sit out by my pool to have morning coffee. Now my #1S has moved home from college because of the storm and is joining me early in the morning.

Not cold enough here to put on the heat, but it's nice when I work outdoors. I'm repairing the privacy fence around the pool to get my own little tropical heaven back. It is my favorite place for devotional, so I understand how much you enjoy your deck and pond.

Sorry to hear you WW hasn't moved forward to assist in making this difficult situation better-if that is possible. Sad for both of you.

How is Mrs. Reese? Is she still in the nursing home?

Prayers are still with you. God Bless and be with you this week.

Nice to hear from you, julsnla -

I agree with your assessements on forgiveness.

Isn't it nice when we can transition from 'parents' to 'best friends'? I am meeting #2S/DIL at a local Mexican place for dinner tonight before they go to church. We aren't having church tonight because local schools are out. (Don't ask, I don't know why church has to be canceled for that either!).

It is indeed nice to sit by the pond and have a morning devotional. I can't say I do it daily, but when I do it is very, very nice. Sorry to hear you've got damage from Rita.

Mrs. Reese is still in the nursing home, and I suspect that she will live out her last days there. I've not gotten out to see her in several weeks and I may not again this Sunday (my visit day) due to our ATL MB get together.

I'm going to try to posts the Minireth / Carter statements on forgiveness tomorrow over on the GODDESS' thread. I think you will enjoy them, it meant a lot to me.

Have a good evening.

Georgia

FGG,

Do you ever see Reggie these days?

Hi CSue -

I saw Reggie about 4 weeks ago. I had access to (2) free tickets to a local production of Peter Pan at the university (about 1 mile from our house). I stopped by and told him Mom about it and suggested we meet our there. (I knew she wouldn't go for him riding with me, I don't blame her).

But...she said no..that he couldn't go. I tried to ask her without him standing there, but that was an impossibility. He heard and was really disappointed that he couldn't go.

Georgia

Hi Georgia:

Did Reggie's Mom give a reason why he couldn't go?

Maybe she will allow him to visit your church..

Hey Mimi...

She said they had something else planned at that time...but I'm pretty sure it was just a lame excuse.

I don't think it had anything to do with me, she just keeps him on a really, really tight & short leash.

I'm almost sure she wouldn't let him go to church with me. I've been thinking about having them over for dinner one night and try to get to know her a little better, maybe crack through the boundary she seems to keep around herself & Reggie.

Georgia

Hi FGG,

You sound good!

I may still back out of the Atlanta gathering. It seems unfair to ask a 4-year-old to spend 8 hours in a car watching DVD's just so her dad can meet some nice folks for dinner - even if she does get to go to the Children's museum for a couple of hours on the way.

If I don't make it, I'd really like to work out a weekend visit to your town when DD is not with me, but it sounds like your social life is overflowing right now - which is GREAT. I'm very impressed by all that you are doing.

-AD

Good Morning -

Thanks AD, I will be disappointed if you don't get to come, but I certainly understand. Since you live in / near my former hometown, I'm sure there will be opportunity for me to visit you there sometime. (Maybe at the unveiling of the FGG Boyhood Home historic marker?). Just kidding.

But...you are welcome to visit me whenever you wish.

All -

I had a very pleasant dinner with #2S/DIL last night. We talked for a while and then I told them that the court date for Friday was still on and asked if there was anything they wanted to talk about. S asked what time and I told him 2:00 PM. I asked him if he had seen his mom recently and he said about 2 weeks ago. He said she seems fine as long as I'm not mentioned. We didn't spend a lot of time on this.

Afterwards I went to the Y and worked out before going home. It is really beginning to feel good to be working out again, I can tell it is already impacting my mental state (maybe imaginary, I dunno). I am still down to 1/2 Lexapro and I plan to get off of it soon (I hope).

I got in bed last night and I couldn't stop thinking about this whole thing. Remembering the good days with W, raising our family together, etc. I got up and wrote a letter to give to #1S & #2S tomorrow after the divorce is final. It is 5 pages long, mostly affirming all the good times I've had with W and how I have always had so much respect for her as both a wife and a mother. I reiterated how important it is that they continue their relationship with her and to realize that they are in large part the men they are today due to her influence. Also....that I am the man I am today due to my relationship with her, for which I will be eternally grateful.

But...that I will continue forging a new life without her and I will not come to her rescue when trials come her way. Not out of any sort of retribution, but because it is now time for me to discover what God has in store for me as I allow her the freedom of her choices, which may have consequences. I will not protect her from those.

I was awake until 5:00 AM this morning. I decided to just sleep until my attorney's appointment (at 10:30), then come in to work.

The appointment was, as you may expect, anticlimatic at this point. This is the 4th "final meeting" before the court appearance. He has heard nothing (still) from her attorney.

My realtor is going to court with us to attest to the current market value and "saleability" of the house. She says she has 3 clients who would like to see the house right now.

Anyway....here we are again. In just over 24 hours we will be, pending some other unforeseen act, divorced.

29 years & 2 months to the day after we said we were devoted to each other forever.....

Georgia

Georgia:

I posted to you on the BOLD LOVE thread...

I certainly have never been in your position.

However, I would think that facing today must be difficult for you and that your inability to sleep last night is understandable...

It's a major turning point in your life and I would think that you will continue to try to process this and to make sense of this in years to come...

I will be praying for you and your family....

Thank you, Mimi....

I continued to talk with you on the BOLD LOVE thread....

And....just in case there ain't enough going on, my boss just announced his resignation effective next Friday.

He and I have worked togethe EXTREMELY closely (especially considering he's in CA and I'm in GA), and I have enjoyed working for him more than anyone I've ever worked for.

We have also forged a strong personal friendship and discuss many personal issues with one another.

Georgia