Mornin', FH...

Again, I'm sure I'll not hit all of your points, and some I think I may have addressed prior (even though maybe not to your satisfaction).

However, you do say something that prompts me to make sure my position is clear with others.

I agree wholeheartedly that divorce is a failure. Period. It is not part of God's plan...ever. God does not PLAN on any married coupled divorcing.

But then we drop into the equation "free will". And, I believe each of us do have it. That includes WS's.

And, I believe that when a marriage crashes and burns due to the free will decisions (albeit poor ones) of one spouse, then the other spouse is not to wear the badge of "failure". I agree the divorce is a failure, the marriage has failed.

I hope that clarifies my thoughts.

I think it is a mistake to assume that a victim has to wear the "guilty" verdict.

Georgia

Okay, folks.

Mimi...you're in charge.

I'll bring everyone back Mickey ears and t-shirts.

Georgia

I'm glad you are looking forward to your meeting. That's a good sign.

Thanks, cc -

Yea, but it's going to be a couple of long days with busy schedules.

I'm not getting back into ATL until late Thursday night so I'm just going to spend the night there and drive home leisurely Friday.

Have a good week.

Georgia

You're going to one of OUR favorite places, BTW...

I will watch over things HERE for sure....

I've been busy at work today...

Hang in there....

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It does.

And no one is saying that the Faithful Spouse who divorces is wearing ANY "guilty" sign or "verdict." There MAY be some truth that the Faithful Spouse may not have been fulfiling their role as husband or wife, according to God's commands or to the best of their ability, but that's "covered" in the marriage vows and is NOT grounds for adultery or divorce.

No, a Faithful Spouse who divorces is "covered" by Jesus Christ's "exception" to the rampant "easy divorcing" that was going on in "old times" as well as in the "no fault" divorce era of today.

My "concern" is not, and never has been, whether you stay married or divorce. My concern has been for the emotional damage it has inflicted upon you and the potential for a "lost soul" in your wife. NO unrepentant adulterer will be in heaven, so as bad as things are right now, they WILL be much worse in the future is she is not "reached."

The "point" I guess, is that she is "playing at" being a Christian by appropriating the name "Christian," but her "works" show that she has NOT surrendered to Christ as her LORD. So either she was never saved, and that will be "proven" if she dies while in unrepentant adultery, or she is severely backslidden and in desperate need of mature Christians to "confront her in love" in the hope that she will repent of her sinful behavior to God, and eventually to you.

God bless. I hope the meetings go well for you.

Good Morning folks -

This may be brief, I've got some meetings coming up.

The trip was very, very intense. However, I must say that I did enjoy getting away a bit. Every moment I was there was packed with work things and I didn't get a chance to get the Mickey ears and t-shirts I had promised, sorry.

I got back to ATL late Thursday night, so I stayed there and had a leisurely drive home Friday, taking the rest of the day off.

Friday morning WW called and left me a message that she needed to talk to me. I called her last night and she said she had just made herself a pizza and was getting ready to watch her favorite TV show and asked if we could talk tonight instead. I said sure and told her I'd call back tonight.

So...I don't know what that's going to be all about, we'll see.

It seems to me that each time we get a court date set, it gets to be more and more difficult to handle (emotionally). I'm really having a hard time with it this time. All the good times...all the memories...we've just had so many opportunities for the rest of our lives together to be great (IMO).

Georgia

I'm so sorry that you didn't get a chance to visit the MAGIC KINGDOM...

Probably would have been good for ya....

Your WW acts so entitled...

I just want to say that she "makes me sick"...

Not very nice of me..I know...

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Good Morning, Mimi...

Before our separation, she would have probably gone with me on this trip. Then, we would have stayed until Sunday. We could have visited all the Disney stuff as I was staying in a hotel across from "Downtown Disney". These trips have always been something we've really enjoyed together, I missed her not being with me.

The only thing I did non-work related was Wednesday night I walked to a Pizzeria Uno and had french onion soup and pizza, all by myself.

And...Thursday evening I got back to the airport about 2 hours before my flight. The Hyatt Hotel has a really nice restaurant on the top floor overlooking the airport. I went there and had a fillet mignon dinner. It was so nice, quiet, tranquil music, wonderful attentive service and great food. It was the highlight of my trip.

BTW - I personally prefer places like Charleston, Williamsburg, etc. when vacationing. Theme parks are so crowded these days.

Georgia

(((((GG)))))

Perhaps she, too, is finding it getting harder. Memories are not something that we can "choose" to forget. And you KNOW in your heart that God is NOT through with her, you, me, or any Christian, yet....so long as we are alive and capable of repentance and surrendering our will to God.

Welcome back.

God bless.

Hi FH...thanks for the big hug.

I find it sad that she has chosen to stop even going to church. I think she still goes sometimes just to practice handbells, but she's always been a "every time the doors are open" sort of Christian. It is a very troubling question to ask who is going to be able to break through to her. I don't know the answer to that.

Yes,it is obvious that God isn't through with any of us yet. However, it certainly does leave a lot of "unknowns" whereas I used to think I knew where life was leading me.

FH:

It's bigger and more all-encomassing than that. But essentially you are correct.

...my W asked me an interesting 2uestion 2day:

"How do you know if you're on the right path?"

I've responded 2 the email, but I've got a lot 2 think about during the day.

Being helpful, rather than hurtful or vengeful, is on the top of my list.

Whatever I can...

best,
-ol' 2long

"How do you know if you're on the right path?"

Where does she want to go?

I'm glad you had a good time although it was "lonely".

I really don't know what to say about the D... except that you really can only go forward with your life. There is no going back except in the movies. That's whats so hard about plan B, you don't actually make a new life, rather you have to pretend to make a new life.

It's not easy, that's for sure.

But I don't see that you have any choice in the D. Your WW seems to be totally wrapped up in herself! At this stage a pizza is more important! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />


Somehow not having any contact at all makes it easier for me, although who knows what state of mind WH is in. I just don't find out. I would have considered this conflict avoidance but luckily Dr. Harley considers it plan B to protect ME! Unfortunately your wife did not allow you to plan B in peace ???
Sounds weird.

Who knows? Divorce doesn't mean you have to substitute your wife and it will give you a financially safer way to wait for her As to end. You have done so much with your life so far, by yourself, you have to realize how important that is.

I will continue praying for God to give you strength.

Well, this is FGG's thread, so I probably shouldn't detract from it here.

I posted on our private forum over on iloveulovedotcom. We should pick up there.

-ol' 2long

Excuse me, Georgia....

Hey, CC:

Check out the ~ MIMI ~ Thread..Susan and I are discussing TUMBLEBUGS.....

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Why is it I feel so confused when I read my own thread ???

cc - there is no question that NC with WW is easier on me than talking to her. It is very, very painful to hear her voice. Sounds like the W I used to know instead of the WW I now have.

Well, this week may be the week that it all really happens, we'll see. I've not said much about it, but this is very difficult financially on me, as well. I'm paying 2X house payments, 2X all utilities, her medical bills, and I just got a bill for another $1,200 from my attorney.

I hope that when the divorce does go through, the alimony is less than what I'm paying right now.

Georgia

You know Georgia, although money is necessary, it doesn't necessarily make you happy or even helps find peace. As Believer says, she has a lot less now but she's much happier with a lot less.

You only have to look out for yourself now, and that's exactly what you have to do.

I know this is a big step towards "letting go" but maybe it's what's holding you back. I know I felt a lot better when I decided that I would make it with my family's help if I needed it. Although so far WH has been paying, he's also been spending probably more than I would like to know... so I don't even go there.

I wish you could read that book by Gail Sheehy about how successful (=happy) people get to be in that state. It's not the money, it's just the joy of doing what they like that makes them financially and personally successful. It's a great read. I lent it to a friend and he hasn't given it back. Unfortunately he's abroad and won't be back for a couple of months. I want to read it again, too.

You have that chance now.

You are absolutely right about that, cc.

It is very obvious that I have greatly lowered my standard of living, and I don't really have any desire to "climb back up that ladder" to a bigger house and such.

When the dust settles on this, I'd like to start making maximum contributions to my 401K so that if I want to retire early, or start that pond business, or whatever....I'll not be encumbered by finances to keep me from doing so.

I like my little house...and I've got it feeling really cozy. I could be happy there for a long, long time.....

Georgia

Speaking of which...I'm going to work out at the Y, then I'm going to spend the evening cleaning my little house.

It's beginning to look like a bachelor pad. Jeb is afraid of the dust bunnies.

Georgia