I've quit marriage counseling. Since my last session three weeks ago, I feel more energized, healthy and happy than since I started it.

I am proceeding with divorce.

I do feel badly that I've hurt my husband by rejecting him as a husband. I feel badly for the girls who want to have Mommy and Daddy living with them every day, and not one at a time.

I also regret many things I didn't do in my marriage. Mostly, not standing up for what I want and think. These things wouldn't have made my marriage happier, but they would have saved me five or six years.

However sad divorce is, the alternative is worse for me. I would end up living on a psychopharmaceutical cocktail, insane, or worse. These are not examples I'd want my girls to follow. Besides, I have a moral obligation to take care of what God has intrusted to my stewardship. That is first and foremost myself.

You sound great. Sometimes the decision is the difficult part, the actions that follow can be easier.
I hope you are enjoying your week.
My new skis are awesome! Too bad all the local areas have closed!

True. I saw your email about the ski sale. No money. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Besides, there's the whole birthday issue. I'll tell you about that off-board.

Hi GG,

I've changed from nam to nams (to too difficult I hope) be cause it was the only way to get on the boards. I suppose I could have jumped through various computer hoops, but this seemed easier.

Well, you made your choice & it sounds like it's the right one for you. Of course you feel sad for your kids, just as I do for my boys, but it's not as though you haven't tried is it? We all make mistakes in our marriages, but the willingness to figure them out & try to fix them is what counts & your H just wasn't willing to do that work. I'd put a sad face here but I find the new icons freaky, kind of like odd & scary clowns.

I'm not sure I like being able to see how many people have viewed my post. Almost 250 views and only four replies, two of which are mine! That's sort of depressing.

Anyway, I wrote a long reply to you, Nam, and then, Hal as Sauron calls the MB server, told me I was not logged in.

We can't have you depressed, so I'm posting instead of just viewing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />. You seem to finally be "at peace" with your decision, so I'm congratulating you on that! I hope this is the beginning of having more confidence in trusting your own decisions.

Hi Greengables```

Let me say first, that I hope you are doing well since your post.
It is so hard to get to this point, and from what I have read on you, I think you have put a lot of time into saving your marriage.

I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you, and wishing you well.

I think in time your girls will be fine. They will be happier with a mom that healthier and happier.
It's not the life we plan for our kids, but when you have exhausted all possibilities of being a whole family unit, you have to seek alternatives.
Be the best mom you are, and they will do fine.

As far as the views vs. posts....
I can tell you that I just now finally got back on. I could read, sometimes, but not get this far.
Maybe that is what's happening here.

Take care,
Karona

If you aren't getting responses, please don't be discouraged. Getting onto the new boards is a little tough. I am glad to read that you are feeling peace.

Hi GG,

A long reply to me! How nice, too bad you weren't logged in. Most everyone has the same complaint of being logged in one moment then out the next. Frustrating.

You're not the only one who has had lots of people read with many fewer responses. I'm sure it's not because people don't love you.

Thanks, everyone, for the posts! You all are great. Don't worry, I'm not taking offense because people are looking but not posting.

Today was finally sunny, and driving in my car, I just kept smiling. I am gloriously happy, almost as if I am in love.

Now, I find I can once again defend B. I'm not sure that he wasn't willing to work. I just think we were way too different, and it was just too late. The saddest thing about marriage is that it involves two people, and both people need to want to fix the marriage at the same time. If one waits to long, the other loses all interest.

I wish I could get the word out to people that if their spouse says he or she is unhappy, do something FAST. Don't wait. Don't think it's a phase. Don't think they are dramatizing the situation. So many times, the content spouse thinks one of hte above when the fact is the unhappy spouse has been quietly suffering, thinking things would just get better, or thinking they were just imagining the discontent and sadness. By the time said unhappy spouse says something, he or she is deeply unhappy and discontent. I'd like to tell the content spouse to ignore the plea at their own risk. The probelm is how to reach them. They don't come here until it's very late in the game.

gg... i could not agree more with the last two paragraphs... sounds like my sitch 2 a T... cudos...

Anne,

You are exactly right. When a spouse finally voices dissatisfaction, it has probably been going on a long time. Unfortunately, when those complaints are not addressed, the unhappy spouse may well likely just shut up and continue being unhappy. At some point, it is possible that another person may show up and start meeting needs, and the unhappy spouse will find him/herself drawn to that person. It takes a huge act of will to get away from another person under those circumstances.

Actually, I think one of the hardest situations in a marriage is when a spouse is completely aware of the importance of emotional needs, yet refuses to meet them. Then it is really tough to remain faithful.

I am glad to see you are doing well. I must admit I was worried the last time you were posting about MC with B.

You are a good person and should be happy.

Thanks, MN. How are you?

GG,

Doing well I guess. Starting to get use to living over here. Just stil not keen on it. I was fired from my job and now looking for a new one. Also thinking about sueing them for wrongfull termination. The reason why my boss hated me was because I was American. I am the fourth person in the position and number five just got fired too. Poor woman was there for two months.

I am happy I no longer work there because I hated the abuse I recieved. Plus I know they will not survive. They are going through money like drinking water.

My H is doing better. Still worried about the High blood pressure he has. My allotment is comming together. This summer will get a lot of nice veg and fruit. I cannot believe how Suzy Homemaker I have become.

Other than that I am excited about going to Greece at the end of May!

How are you doing? There are a few on here that I always include in my prayers and thoughts. You and the girls are a part of that.

Hey GG, and everyone else...

Just wanted to say thank you for your input on how to try to get use to this board.

I'm still on here, and able to post... which is all of a miracle in my mind. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

So I just wanted to say thank you, and hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace