Anyone out there, please tell me how to cope with knowing that your husband fathered a child with another woman. Everyday its like a knife in the stomach!! Just knowing that for the rest of our life, that child will be around as a constant reminder of his affair. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact other then when I hit bottom about it which is almost everyday. I have searched for books or information on the subject, but there is nothing out there to help me. I don't know how to get a handle on this. It tears me up so bad. I thought God wouldn't give us more than we could handle??? I can't handle this. I swear there are days that I just want to call everything off. I hate her and her child. I know I am a horrible person for even saying it, but if I hear one more time that it wasn't the childs fault I think I will scream for days!!!!!! I didn't ask for this. Her friend told me she was hoping to get pregnant, because it had happened to her marriage ( she is 44 years old, the child is 8 months old - my husband is 40) Please, anyone with any advise even is it is to shoot myself, let me know. I so tired of trying to deal with this on my own. My husband thinks I should just deal with it. That its been a whole year, I should be dealing with it better then I am. But I can't it hurts to much to know he has this child and wants to be part of its life and will always be bonded to this OW for the rest of our lives. Please help!!!!!!!

The past is past and that little one is here and there is nothing that anyone can do to change it. You need to deal with your feelings and move on the best you can. If you want to stay with your H than you are going to have to accept that baby. What he did was wrong but at least he is a good enough person to take responsibility for his baby. I know that every time you look at that baby it's a reminder of the hurt he caused you and i totally sympathise with that. You need to maybe think of that baby as a blessing. Your H chose to stay with you even though he now has this baby to consider. He must really love you. If you turn your back on this baby you could really be missing out on a special relationship. My Mom is a step-mom and she is closer to my sister than her real mom. <BR> I kind of know how you feel even though my situation is different. My H has brought his former OW daughter home to live with us. She is 13 and has had such a tough life. All she wanted her whole life is a normal family and a good Dad. She is such a sweet girl and her and I have become pretty close. Even though his affair hurt me to the core I thank God that I have that sweet girl in my life and my relationship with my H couldn't be better.<BR>

crazy or what -<P>I see stories every once in a while on the 700 Club, but never met a real live person working with the situation. <P>That is really wonderful that you can be this way. Is it a choice to make it a blessing or a heartache?<P>God Bless You and your Step Daughter.<BR>TNT