My husband had an emotional affair with a woman who had recently joined our circle of friends and our church. It happened right under my nose. Right in front of me I saw this occuring and felt helpless to do anything because they had no physical relationship. He desired to be with her almost 24 hours a day,. she was always at my house, when she was not he was calling her on the phone, I found out in January he called her 124 times even thought she was at my house nearly everyday already. Finally he had started sending her sexual text messages and then I was able to intervene and ask for it to stop. We are in counseling now but I feel so hopeless and bitter still.

Emotional affairs are pretty darn addictive. The fantasies in the WS head are addictive. If you don't have surviving an affair yet, get it, and read it. I've been so dissappointed with counseling in our area, I finally called Marriage Builders to use their information.

Your husband is under the influence like anyone else addicted to any other substance. If you remember that, it's easier to deal with the bitterness.

I think it's safe to say your in Plan A. Read through it over and over. Cut out the Love Busters and get strong. Imagine your husband needs you help to recover from the addiction. My wife is crying all the time now. She's depressed, and she's trying to maintain her relationship with the other man OM. With God's help, I've been able to separate myself emotionally from her so that I can protect myself.

Protect your heart and fight for your relationship. Use your friends to keep you strong and positive.

Thank you for the advice. Iguess the hardest thing is while I know he does not contact her anymore there is nothing I can do about whether or not he thinks about her. I dont even ask because I am afraid to know the answer.

You never see an affair coming and they hit you hard. WS's usually don't plan them and BS's are devistated by them. There are never any winners when they end, just heartache and your life is turned upside down for a long time. Good luck.

TooSoon

I'm so sorry this has happened to you and I can understand your bitterness.

I am wondering - does your husband still see her at church? If so that could be making things more difficult for the both of you. Your husband will have a lot harder time moving on if he is still running into her.

Carol