Sorry for the calls yesterday - I am tired and really stressed out, just like you. I have been waking up at ~3ish most nights and not able to get back to sleep real well. We have some problems that I think are really
serious - whether we were in love or not....
I just have to say - I will try - I will sit in your counseling sessions and speak my mind, but when you had me detained on the 27th, I separated from you. I chose my own life at that point and during the 40 hours that
followed... I don't feel like I am your property anymore. I need you to understand that. I shared with you my real feelings about you and me, me and my feelings for OM, where our "non-relationship" is, etc this morning....
I just don't know what you really want from me... I ask questions from you just because I am still trying to understand how you have changed and how you want us to try to move forward - I don't know if I know you as well as
you think I do... you have done some things that are so out of character (I sent OM home from my house. I had Pastor help me confront her, and I had DS8 sleep at my dad's hotel when she freaked out and chased the OM(19) to the airport. I also sent a nasty message to OM when I realized he was still contacting her. I also contacted OM's girlfriend.)
for what you portray yourself to be - I know I have done things that YOU portray as out of character for me (fooled around with another man)- but I don't really feel surprised by my actions given where I was with my feelings for you. I am sorry for that-really.. I wish that I were so happy with you that I couldn't have feelings for anyone but you - but that has NEVER been the case, and trying to make
feelings appear - is a difficult concept for me...