Saw an Oprah episode last night that caught my eye...

The first half of the show was about women who have affairs and the last half about swinging. I have NO idea what one has to do with the other, but I'm somewhat chapped about the whole thing.

I have seen the Oprah episodes in which MEN who've had affairs are berated and boo'd. No one care how emotionally "neglected" they were...they're just dogs.

In last night's show, your could smell the empathy for these wayward wives coming out of the TV. "Oh, her husband didn't pay her enough attention! We understand, deary." I saw lots of affirmative nods in the audience as these women were describing how their loveless marriages drove them to cheat.

I thought about the idea that it's because the audience is mostly women. But then, I tried to imagine how an audience of men would respond to another man who had been unfaithful. I don't think men would be sympathetic at to him at all!

Oprah had to sneak in a few male bash barbs...she said men just aren't as forgiving about infidelity as women are. But it the WAY she said it...like we're some lower life form.

Ok, I know I shouldn't be watching this crap. I think I'll just retreat to watching soft-porn on cinem*x...

Low

Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home.

Women believe if a pet dog strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home.

Women believe if a woman strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home.

Women believe if a man strays, it's because men are scum.

I think that people that haven't lived through an A (either as a BS or a WS) have very little idea of what it is all about. We all probably thought that an A was a deal breaker and that we would D our S if they cheated. Now we are here trying work things out. All A (except those when the Ws is a serial cheater) are caused by unmet EN. Men usually find SF unmet and women find Affection and Conversation unmet. From that point of view it is easier to be more sympathetic with women, since they are missing the romantic stuff while men are lacking the carnal and dirty sex. But who are we to judge what is more important, do women care for affection instead of sex because they are somehow better to men? I don't think so. I still haven't seen a good representation of the A dynamics in the general media (this was discussed in a thread about the movie closer), just because this is an experience imposible to imagine without going through it and people how have lived it are not so open to go in public and share their experiences. Cya, going to the gym.

The real irony of it all is that it should be "obvious" that it doesn't matter whether you're male or female. An A is just wrong. Women get more sympathy for not having their needs met, so they have an A? Well, guess what! MOST of them have As with MEN? Should the OM be given the same sympathy? I don't think so.

Affairs do not happen because of unmet ENs. They happen because the WS gives in 2 temptation. Sure, there may be unmet ENs in their M, but that is NOT the reason for having an A. Weakness is.

-ol' 2long

A WP has my sympathy for lack of affection from their spouse. BUT they have a helluva lot of whoop a$$ coming down the pike from me for straying and using it as an excuse. There is NO sympathy from me for taking a cowards/lazy way out by NOT working to fix their marriages.

Doesn't matter if the WP is a guy a gal or a gerbil. For better or worse doesn't have an out clause of "or until you feel neglected or unloved." Period.

- Kimmy