I found out two weeks ago my wife has been having an affair, since christmas, with her x husband that left her with 2 small kids 17 years ago. I work overseas for 5 weeks at a time and am home for the same. It was a little more than just sex for she was falling out of love with me and in love with him. I searched the compurter and found old MSN chat logs that she made when I was home telling him how much she cared for him and did'nt care how I felt. After she admitted to me that she slept with him, (in our house too) she said that she wants to work things out and stay with me. I'm having a lot of trouble beliving her when two weeks ago she still had feelings for him. I'm so confused, I don't want to break our marraige up because I still love her so much, but I don't know how to trust her when I go back to work, in about 2½ weeks. I don't have really anyone to talk to and we are going to marraige counseling on Monday but I am having a very hard time dealing with this, I need help bad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hey!


Welcome to MB the last place you wished you ever find yourself. But given your situation its a good thing you find it and pretty soon after D-Day (Discovery Day). To answer your question about how you should be feeling let me tell you that you should be feeling like the worst piece of sh*t in the world (at least thats how I did and still do sometimes). But the truth is that you are not. I don't know how familiar you are with the principles of Dr. Harley so if you didn't buy SAA (surviving an affair) I recommend that you get asap, thanks to online shopping you don't have to go through the pain of getting it in a store <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
There you will learn what is going on with your wife and maybe understand what why she did it. You will also be given a plan (Plan A) to work on yourself and become a better husband (don't expect to change her behavior). Also you will be given some tools that help the A (affair) die and NC (no contact start). You can find most of that info on this forum but since it is working like crap lately there are very few people posting. My last advice is to post in the GQ (general questions) forum since it has more traffic and you will get more replies there. Hang on in there.


PS: Go to see a doctor and get on AD's antidrepressants) right now. You are on for a bumpy ride, and the drugs take a couple of weeks to kick in. No shame in that, most of us here are on AD's.