I found out two weeks ago my wife has been having an affair, since christmas, with her x husband that left her with 2 small kids 17 years ago. I work overseas for 5 weeks at a time and am home for the same. It was a little more than just sex for she was falling out of love with me and in love with him. I searched the compurter and found old MSN chat logs that she made when I was home telling him how much she cared for him and did'nt care how I felt. After she admitted to me that she slept with him, (in our house too) she said that she wants to work things out and stay with me. I'm having a lot of trouble beliving her when two weeks ago she still had feelings for him. I'm so confused, I don't want to break our marraige up because I still love her so much, but I don't know how to trust her when I go back to work, in about 2½ weeks. I don't have really anyone to talk to and we are going to marraige counseling on Monday but I am having a very hard time dealing with this, I need help bad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Nobody can tell you how you should feel, but the feelings of distrust and skepticism are certainly normal.

She has lied, deceived, and betrayed you. All powerful actions, all causing powerful emotional responses. And all will take time to heal.

So whatever you're feeling? It's OK. How you respond out of those feelings of course, you're completely responsible for, so you will need to make extra effort to choose your words and actions wisely.

You should look into Dr H's material on recovering from infidelity, he has numerous good things to do in there.