and I still do not see reconciliation. I read in this site it typically takes about three weeks after finding out about the affair to start considering working on the M, albeit, it will still be a rollercoaster.

In my last note, I said I have no desire to do so and that's where I am still.

While not going into details, I believe the affair has stopped. She wants to stay in the marriage, but again, I do not trust her reasons why. (I still think it's security, not wanting to be embarrassed with our kids and friends, having to move out, etc.)

She is going to look for another place to live in our former town next week at my insistence. (She's also going to Florida with some of our friends while I stay here. Funny thing is that one of the friends is our minister with which she won't discuss the situation. She doesn't even want me to.) The time to discuss with the kids and families is coming soon.

I have never felt so bad for so long and ready to get on with things.

Just a quick question -- For those BS's that did reconcile, how long after D-Day did you get the first inkling that you wanted to?

TNX

I am moving this to Questions II.