I recently found out that what I thought was renewed C with OW #2 was actually another A. This was the final boundary I set for WH. He knew this and still had yet another A. This time with a MOW. Her H found out so the PA ended but C by phone continues. I never thought I would be at this point even though many people in my life gently tried to tell me. My WH is weak. So, I signed the docs yesterday to begin the D process. WH and I are working out the financial aspects together so I can keep our home. Because of his bad choices he will spend the next several years dead broke because he is paying me CS and OW #2 CS. Sorry if I sound bitter, but I am. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

{{{FF}}}

FF I am so sorry. {{FF}}

GC

Hugs...but I do support your decision.

Susan

FF - I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm at the very beginning of D proceedings, too - initiated by WH but the same in the fact that I'm done emotionally, too. I tried everything, too. Now, I'm counterfiling on advice from my attorney to protect myself. We'll get through it!

All I can say is I'm sorry. I wish I could say something more, something that would really help you and anyone in this position feel better.

I'm so sorry that you have come to this point. I am there too and just wanted to send you my thoughts and prayers.

I have not filed yet but we have discussed some of the details such as child support and our life insurance policies. We are going to use a mediator as we believe we can be civil about this and hopefully won't need attorneys.

Are you sure you want to stay in your house? I love my house but I do not want to stay here. I just think that a new home will help the kids and I with our new beginning.
We have too many memories here and a lot of them aren't good.
I think I would sit around and sulk a lot because even though WH was never home much, when he moves out it will feel empty here.
(He is still here because he has no job and no place to go. He does start a new job tomorrow though so we are one step closer to getting him out the door.)

Take care. The pain you are feeling is shared by so many of us. Please keep posting. It helps so much!!

FF- I have never posted to you but know your story. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I will keep you in my prayers.
(((FF)))) Take good care. I wish I could say something to help you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Hugs, Frags

Suzy, thanks for your thoughts. I need to stay in our house because my DS is disabled and we just added on to the house for him. He now has an accessible bathroom/shower and a big bedroom. I know I will miss my H, but in some ways I look forward to him being gone. He is a lot of work for me, more so than a help and he is not very social at home so I am lonely often. Once he is gone I plan to fill our home with people and lots of joy. My children really need joy.

Fraggles, thanks so much for the hugs and everyone else that posted...thank you. This board has gotten me through more than I ever thought I would experience in this life.

{{{{{Faith}}}}} (almost put your real name), I know this hurts. But what you wrote in the first paragraph of that last post, speaks volumes to me of your strength and character. Your kids need you AND you will be their rock. Keep your faith (pun intended).

I'm sorry you've come to this point. I fear I'll be there myself soon. Where would we be without MB?

I am so very sorry FF.

Why are the people who are the most loyal and loving hurt so badly?

Makes no sense it really doesn't.

{{{{{{{ff}}}}}}}

Later, when you have achieved some emotional distance from this

You will see, perhaps, something else

This is not a 'mistake' he is making

This is a 'mistake of character'

Not all affairs are like yours was FF

A one time hole you fell into and subsequently pulled yourself out of

Some people have an [color:"blue"] affair lifestyle [/color]

And there is no desire to surrender one's self to the monogamy of marriage

Your H is not doing this TO hurt you

He is doing this DESPITE it is hurting you

Despite the moral obligations

He has developed a lifestyle of serial daliances

He continues in this style until there is no gain to living this way

It is [color:"red"] NOT [/color] about you

It is 100% all about him

maybe .... he enjoys the newness and/or the conquest and/or the admiration and/or the sense of being in control of his universe where no one will tell him what he can and cannot do.... maybe

What we call weakness, he calls freedom

But remember the line from the song

[color:"purple"] freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose [/color]

and someday he may have regrets, because he's lost everything but the temporary pleasure of getting hooked up with a fresh woman

He walks a dangerous road seeing MOW

people sometimes get hurt in unexpected ways

Thinking of you.....

Pep

I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you. I haven't been posting much but I did read this.

I'm sorry it's come to this ff, but you are strong and need to protect your family as much as you can. I will be praying for strength and PEACE for you.

FF,
I am sorry about my question about staying in the house. Had I done my homework, I might have known this.
Your plan to fill your home with lots of joy sounds wonderful. I am going to go read your previous posts now.

Take care!!
Suzy

OMgosh, Pep! You have the most uncanny way of reading people. Yes, you hit the nail on the head. It IS about not being told what to do which is one of his chief complaints about being M'd. He also told me since he has little self esteem he gets his fill by these relationships. Especially this last one (where is that darn eyeroll graemlin?) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

It is so hard because I still love him. My children adore him but it is wrong to live like this. I was asked by one of our church leaders today if I could leave the door open a crack in case he decides to do what is necessary to change. I don't know, I have a feeling once I get past the pain of the D that I won't want him back. sigh...

prayers going out for you faith

Distance yourself mija. Protect your feelings. We are here to listen and lend shoulder to cry on or to help lift you up when you need it.

You are an awesome mommy...God knew what he was doing when he gave those babies to you. He knew you would do your best by them. Fill that house with love an laughter...it's the very bestest medicine.

Squidges and strength being sent your way,
Kimmy

Kimmy, thanks for the squidges. Nikko, thanks for the prayers and support. Unless my WH can search deep within himself and find the man he was long ago it is over.

{{{FF}}}