Hi Orchid and redhat,

Do you remember this thread from January? Just as it was getting interesting and helpful, my computer went on the fritz. I'm back now and am wondering if you would like to continue.

I'm not very savvy with a computer and can't figure out how to bring the thread back up. The dates were during the second week in January 2005.

Orchid, I'm very interested in hearing more about balancing Giver and Taker--especially in circumstances where FWH refuses to meet any EN's and my unwillingness to continue meeting any of his EN's in response.

My circumstances have now changed somewhat in that FWH is starting to talk about changing his stance since I hired an attorney and have started the paperwork for divorce. I have NO indication that anything will come of his talk, but I feel strongly that I am obligated to be open to reconciliation efforts until a divorce is final.

I need guidance so that I'm not closed off from any sincere efforts that could lead to a lasting change while, at the same time, not allowing myself to be played for a chump yet again (remember when YetAgain was my screen name? LOL). I want to do this like my current screen name--setting and enforcing boundaries in a loving way for everyone involved, including myself.

Orchid and redhat, thank you to you both. The points that were brought up before I lost computer access were very helpful to me while I was away.

I am trying to reply your post and for some reasons this board wasn't allow me to do it. Some how today it got fixed.

You know what you need from him to take him back and don't settle for anything less. Talk is cheap, unless and until he shows it with his action you might want to keep the divorce going.

Just remember what is Giver and taker rule in MB. You give unless it would hurt you and you take unless it would hurt someone else.

-rh-