I don’t know where to turn.. seems that I am being torn apart. My husband tells me he loves me over and over but its so hard to really believe. I need to know that he will not cheat again I guess I’ll really never know for sure. I have told him what my emotional needs are to feel wanted, desired, sexy and beautiful, I have never hear any of these words in the 23 years of marriage (much less feelings) from him until I told him I needed to hear those words from him. Which then said you are beautiful and sexy.>>>>once>>>> I was really convinced he meant them can you tell??) This was a year ago I and I have not heard anything but a occasional You look nice. Since.
Yet he is more that able to say and suggest these very things to other women quite easily???? So where do I stand? Oh he did say tonight I love you.. You are so smart>>> WTF!!! Like I really care about being smart. I am sure the women he cheated on me with was because they were so smart…. Try real dumb asses and they were fat and had big tits. Which I am not fat or have big tits. So I guess I know where I stand. It is so freakn sad when I go to work and have men who mean nothing to me flirt, and say things I would just die to hear my husband say. Last week on of the physician assistances who I never have met but talk to on the phone a lot says this to me: I am having to make up reasons to call your office so I can just hear your voice, it just brightens up my whole day when I am able to talk to you. Then on Friday a sales rep. Who I had just met a couple of months ago came in (he always asks to talk to me J) I usually have been wearing my hair straight and on Friday thought screw it and I wore it naturally curly . (Curls everywhere). Well he comes in and says WOW!! I love those curls, now how am I going to decide which is sexier the curls other straight hair.
My husband has read the marriage building books and has not let me know what his EN are, I have asked, and we have talked about why the affairs happed but I get no feed back on what he needs. He just says everything has been fine, expect you were depressed but there was nothing missing in our marriage. I guess when it gets to the point of him needing something I an not giving him he will start look elsewhere as he had in the past.
That is pretty much were I feel like I am. I have asked him for what I need. I am not going to beg,, I know I am not as beautiful or as sexy as his girlfriends (just thinner and smarter Ha Ha) but I would like to feel like (even if it is a lie) that I am somewhat sexy to him. Maybe it is time for me to start flirting back with these other men.
BS – Me 43
FWS? - 48
Married for 25years
Huband had 4 ONS over the last 23 years.
