So...it's over.

16 months after separating, and more than a year after joining MB, mercifully, my marriage has ended.

I filed for divorce in February after a year of...nothing. My XW just left and never turned back. She of course, never had the time or the money to take care of all this, leaving me to clean up the mess.

I recieved the divorce paperwork in the mail a couple of weeks ago. And quietly...without fanfare...it was done.

I've had a few meaningless five word emails with XW about financial stuff (the lawyer still has to do the property/debt settlement), but other than that, we haven't (and I don't wish to) communicated.

But nothing from her. No sorry for the mess. No thank you for taking care of the mess. Nothing.

And as I get farther away from all this, and look back and wonder....what in the bloody, blue hell was I thinking marrying someone like this.

But all in all, things are great for me. And I look forward to.....looking forward.

Ethan

E,
And quietly...without fanfare...it was done.

As it should be...
This marriage ended because of your W's lack of action, regret, remorse and commitment. You did exactly what you should have done.

I hope thing turn out the way you deserve.

God Bless,

Doug

Because you loved her. And it isn't your fault she turned so selfish. She doesn't deserve you. You did give it your best shot and you can hold your head high.

I'm so sorry things didn't work out. I'm glad you are looking forward. Someday, you will find a woman who does deserve you.

....and someday, she is going to look back and regret what she gave up. But, your life is now your own. Best wishes to you. Keep strong.
GS

FM,
I've never posted to you before, but early on I sensed a lot of similarities in your XW and my STBXW... so I've paid attention to what you've had to say.

Your words that I've quoted above... pretty much sum up where I am, and how I feel. I'm not D'd yet, but, it's just a matter of some paperwork, at this point.

And having forgotten how YOUNG! you are, I checked your sig...

and here's my toast to you: by the time you're my age (45), you'll have all-but-forgotten your XW, and you'll be a very happy man!

Regards to you, FM... life will be nothing but SO MUCH BETTER from here....

Ethan, I'm sorry but at the same time so proud of your attitude. I hope I come to have the same strength as you when it's my time.

And I love your signature. Lately I miss my cat and big dog much more than I miss him.

Ethan,

Long time no post.

Your ex-wife has a horrendous relationship resume. The fact that you've held out hope for so long speaks volumes of your character and respect for the institution of marriage.

I know you will be OK...you're ex on the other hand....I think I can safely say your future will vastly outshine hers.

I've enjoyed your observations, insight and wit on these boards. I hope you continue to pop in every now and again.

Godspeed Ethan,

Binder

PS. I think WAT has a wiener dog he wants to get rid of.

Ethan, condolences and congratulations.

Bad relationship resume is right!

How are you?

GC

Ethan,

You did what you had to do for you. It is time to live your life for yourself. You just sacrificed another 16 months for a M that was going no place. You have such a big heart and now you have the skills to have the best R or M in the world. You are so young and so smart now. You will do wonderful at anything you set your mind to do.

Remember us here at MB now. Don't go leaving us and forgetting about us. Poke in once in a while and let us know how you are. I am so happy for you, yet sad for your pain. It will fade though. I have been through it before myself. Better to find out now, than 10 years from now when you have kids and all.

God bless you Ethan.

HINY

FM,
It’s the finality of it all. A marriage ending is a little like mourning the death of a loved one. It’s always been that way for me at least, when it came to ending long term and serious relationships. Waking up the next morning and wondering where they are, knowing that something you want to say or share no longer has meaning never mind interest to the one whom for so long, served as the focal point of all you thought and did. This is a tragic interlude in any person’s life and don’t you ever believe that it’s any less so for her, then it is for you.

The thing is however, as time and distance play there role, one’s perspective becomes more acute. It’s at this point that understanding replaces anger and pain and allows rational people to go forward…remembering the good and putting aside that which was not so good. This is when we grow…when we get better, smarter, wiser and more mature. Letting go and going on…that is the last act in these sad little dramas. Your last chance to salvage all that was good during this time in your life. Do it well. Don’t allow yourself to be cheated. Be good to yourself. You deserve nothing less.

Best regards,
Coach

GC,
Good to hear from you(and the other familiar "faces" as well.)

Things are good. My job is going well. I'm playing soccer now, and having way more fun than I did when I played in HS and college. I'm going back to school to finish my degree in the fall. In filling my life to "keep myself busy" after XW and I separated, I finally got to do a lot of things that I didn't do when I was younger. In many, many ways, I'm thankful for this whole experience, and have really found very little bad with the whole situation.

When I found out the D itself was final, I really didn't feel a whole lot of anything. I talked to my mom that evening, and she asked me how I felt. My honest response: "A little hungry..." (I had an early lunch that day.) But that was about it.....

In all actuality, I actually feel pretty far away from the whole thing. My focus now (and has been for a while) is solely in building my future. And while, quite honestly, I'm starting to want to have a "special someone" in my life again, I have yet to find a worthy soul....

But, in all honesty....I feel blessed to be right where I am today.

Ethan