Sounds very good. Hold up on the 3rd child right now. Recovery takes lots of strength.

Did she write a NC letter?

Are you spending 15 hours a week doing fun things together?

Hi, left.

Good news with your wife.

Quote:
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I don't know if I'm in recovery or not. She's talking abiout long-term plans now. She got her old job back, she's talking about a 3rd child, etc. Thoughts on all this? I hardly seem to have time to get on here anymore. I guess that might be a good thing though.
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I think you should wait at least a year if not two on a third child.

Also, has she written a no contact letter, have you approved it and mailed it?

What is your plan for ensuring no contact? Is she being an open book? Do you have access to all of her communication mediums?

Has she agreed to a full panel STD test? I hope you have waited on sex with her until you know it is safe. Has she had a pregnancy test?

Where are you at with your lawyer and your children?

Are her actions matching her words?

Why are you trusting her?

Left, I know you think I am being rough on you. I am really not. The thing is, your wife ran off with your kids, to another state, and lived with another man. It SHOULD take a LONG TIME for her to earn your respect and trust. Just because she is being nice to you, doesn't mean she won't do it again.

Please get yourself legally situated, get the STD tests done, and plan out a recovery. If you can afford it, call Steve Harley.

Oh, and you especially need to be spending time here having possibly started recovery. Without a plan of some sort, you may very well be facing the same situation or possibly worse, in a couple of years or less. Nothing is fixed just because she is home. That is only a bare minimum beginning.

Are you following me?

Gimble

Left

maybe I have become very cynical, occupational hazard I guess, but it all sounds so "sudden' to me.

Gimble has it right. get those tests done, get professional advice from Harley NOW, work up a plan with him, get into a full MC maybe with Harley's.

I'm sorry to rain on your parade but be very very careful without just driving her away. Be gentle & kind but keep your boundaries.

You can save your M but dont be taken unawares, you may learn a lot thats hurtful but if you ready for it you can handle it.

Hey guys!

I've been away since July, but have been doing great. She didn't write a NC letter but we did do a call. It was really tough at first. A lot of crying for the first couple weeks. I still have seeds of doubt and bitterness try to plant themeselves in my mind. I still check phone records, email, etc occasionally. Trust is being built back slowly, but surely. Getting my family back to church and their counseling has helped tremendously. SAA & HNHN has really helped my FWS.

She realized the true side of OM as well. I won't go into it, but she fully realizes he wasn't what she wanted or needed. We went to see her family & friends for Thanksgiving. It went a lot better than I thought. They were wonderful to me and were so happy we were back together. We both have changed dramatically for the better as people. She boasts that she is happier than we have ever been; even when we first got together.

Her cousin was on the brink of divorce as well. They have been great to share our issues/solutions. We didn't plan on having our third for at least a year, but 1/2 of one will have to do. We found out we are pregnant...well she is. I know this may provide more stress while we are recovering, but hopefully it will bring us together more than anything. The only bad news is I was laid off 1.5 weeks ago. I am hoping to start a new position this week...we'll see.

This forum has given me so much strength when I thought I had none. It helped me see the right path when I was so confused. Thank you all so much! I believe in the methods shared here wholeheartedly.

congratulations on the pregnancy. Are you in MC?

Hi, Left.

I am glad that you are doing well, and congrats on the pregnancy. How far along is she?

I hope that you will hang around and share with folks here about your progress.

God bless,
Gimble

Glad you checked in again. Congratulations on the baby.

Now I hope you will continue to do all of the stuff suggested here to build a stronger marriage, and not just sweep everything under the rug.