Haven't posted in a while, but still continue to visit hear and pray for everyone. It's been 5 months now and things are going better. Some days I can forget about the affair and some days all I think about is the affair. Being as we have been together over 15 yrs and the last 4 years were quite distant, why (and I asked him this also) if he had some one else, did he ask me to marry him. We weren't married when he met her so why get married. His response was (because I loved you). Typical of him to say that. He said although he cared for her, he knew he wouldn't marry her. Geez, why not. I try not to ask for many explanations, for I don't want to dwell on it. He has been accountable for his wearabouts, and spends a lot of time with me. He says he is a lot more relaxed, but still bears the pain that he has inflicted on me. Now he worries that I might do the same to him. He has dreams about it. All I can do is reassure him that two wrongs don't make a right. We have to learn to trust each other and keep the line of communication open. I hope that soon I can put this out of my mind. Maybe it's so bad because I can't talk to anyone about it, besides him. Everyone would tell me I'm a fool to take him back. But I trust the lord will guide me to where I need to be.<P>------------------<BR>

Forgot in my earlier post that we have been married for a year now, the affair carried on for 4 months after we got married. I'm home from work today (relaxing)just needed to bring this to the top for some advice.