I need some help, is it possible to stay in plan A while WH is not exactly living at home. From what i understand from reliable sources, OW and WH are fighting terribly, about me and OW's control issues..Do i just stay at home and be nice when he comes here, or should i be doing something different. WH comes home everyday, we talk some, but not about OW and his relationship. I know, im dumb for asking these questions, but there are so many wonderful people on this board who have been there, done that.. thanks alot

Like I said in your other post -- if he has moved out to live with his girlfriend, I cannot imagine why you are not in a darker-than-dark Plan B. *Especially* if they are fighting like cats and dogs! As long as you are there for him to make him feel better after he fights with her, what is to keep him from just happily bouncing back and forth?

As long as he feels like he's got both of you, he has NO incentive to change anything.
Mulan

WV,

Are you having trouble replying to your posts? Is that why you started another thread so soon? If so go to your home page and edit your preferences so that your view is "flat mode" then you should be able to reply to your own thread.

I have to agree with Mulan. If you have done a good Plan A and it sounds like you have, then you should go to Plan B. The letter will give your WH the map he needs to get out of his mess and come home to rebuild.

Men need clear steps outlined, they need to know what is expected of them and that they can get out of their mess.

And no he is not happy. So this is a good time to cut him off so he can realize what he is about to lose.

And it sounds like your at the brink if you are seething inside when he comes over. So you need the protection and peace of Plan B too.

One more thing, you are NOT dumb.

And the only thing dumb about asking a question would be not asking it.

So ask away!

Cheer up. Sounds like you're right on track. Unfurrow your eyebrows. I just got off the phone with my WW. They are such a damn bundle of emotions. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> She says I'm being defensive. I do this, I do that. It's really tiring keeping calm and composed.

You can do it. If you know when he's coming, do stuff before hand to elevate your mood. Play some really motivational music kind of like they play before a basketball game when the team runs out. The Chicago Bulls have a good soundtrack. If you're in WV, can you get Radio Disney? You can crank that with the kids.

I've had to separate my emotions from my wife. Protect yourself. Protect your heart. Don't get your hopes up, but hold out hope. Leave the door open and see if he walks in.

By the way. Don't just stay at home. Go out with the kids and do stuff that's fun. He should regret he's not spending time with you. If you can rent Rear Window with Grace Kelly and Jimmy Stewart, watch Grace Kelly. It's not an instructional video, but it gives you an idea about Plan A behavior.

SIS