Thank you all for your replies.
Committed.....had I replied when I first read your reply, you may have needed that suit. Thought it best to wait until my feathers smoothed back down..as you did ruffle them...
But you are right about some things...
mainly that yes I am choosing to stay at this time.
Why? Responsibilities. Plain & simple. Sometimes it does not matter how unhappy you are. Responsibilities come first. I have livestock, a business to run and several things that commit me here.
My H is not my only battle.
I have a 17 year old D with a drug problem. I have a 23 year old D with a drug problem. I have the boyfriend of the 23 year old with a psychotic and drug problem. He controls her by threatening to kill her family. Sick huh? Even his mother wants us dead. She's a psycho also. The 23 year old has a D with this jerk boyfriend. One of my main concerns is her. She is almost 2 and a beautiful & delightful child. My first & only grandchild.
My H is obsessed with my D's boyfriend. He turned our younger D onto hard drugs. My H will do anything in his power to see him destoyed,,,even though it cost him his marriage. In his obsession he is destoying everyone around him. Mention the boys name and my H becomes completly out of control. Mix his anger with beer and he can get really ugly.
Anyway...its a long,,,, complicated,,,,, extrememly sad story.
So why am I still here? Because I need the resources I have to try and save my kids and granddaughter....
We are all in counseling...me, to deal with everything & everyone else. IC says I am the ONLY one with their head together. H goes to deal with his anger problems. He can vent there instead of taking it all out on me. He blames me for the choices our D's make and all the problems that D's boyfriend creates.. All my fault,,,,I raised them wrong...ect....
I tried to start divorce papers in Feb. & H became out of control in his anger. Took all the money out of our checking accts, took my name off. Told everyone in our small town that I am a thief. That I stole all of HIS money.(I was smart enough to move HALF the savings into my own acct.),,,but he took ALL $$ in the checkings.
So I couldn't take the heat and his hitting below the belt. I caved, and stopped the divorce. My life & my childrens lives are an open book. We have no privacy. My H tells all to anyone & everyone. He has "big mouth syndrome". I've discussed that in previous posts.
Younger D is in substance abuse IC again. We may be able to send her to inpatient rehab. Will know soon. Her boyfiend problems are contributing to her drug use also.
Older D will go to IC hit and miss. We had her here at home couple weeks ago. Said she hated him, swore she would not go back to him. SHe even filed complaint for domestic violence. He had elbowed her in the stomach and drug her up the stairs. SHe will not file for custody of the baby because the state will chase him for child support. We filed charges for breaking the PPO I have against him. He had come to our house to find my D while we were out of town. The police were called...he was found hiding in own home. He was allowed to leave because I was not here to file charges.
He was later arrested and charged with PPO violation, B & E, illegal entry & trespassing. The dom. violence had not got thru the system yet. He was released on $200 bail. Even after I supplied a tape of him screaming and crying to my D that "you are going to make me kill your family..you come here now...you can't do this to me, I'm going to kill all of them..ect..." And I have his mother stating that she wishes we were all dead also. Now the psycho mother says she is going to take custody of the baby. And my D went back to him again.
Now, the first thing that may come to mind...Wow, these people are all hillbilly trailer trash...uneducated...low life's.....on the contrary..we are pillars of our communities. Substance abuse and domestic violence reaches all.
What a soap opera. WIth all these problems I don't have time to think about H's previous EA which is what brought me to this board 2 years ago.
CPS (child protective services) will do nothing. The baby is not neglected or abused. Parents can use drugs and he can abuse her but they will not remove the child.
I daydream of peace in my life, on my own, and the house I would like to build (my own) on a piece of our land...of finishing college...of being proud of my daughters, of having decent son-in-laws and beautiful grandchildren. But, it's all a dream..isn't it.
Danneill
p.s. The phone acct. My older D had one of my phones. Her worthless boyfriend & his drug buddies took it and ran the bill up skyhigh. When H found out via phone company, I was put through 3 hours of his abusive ranting, rampaging, threatening, accusing ect...So, because I was worried about her driving a piece of crap car (wheel ready to fall off) on the interstate 35 miles to work in the middle of winter and snowstorms, or maybe with the baby in the car....I paid dearly for being worried about them. Big mistake. Show me a mother who would not have done the same. My younger D also ran the bill up calling her drug suppliers and her boyfriend.
Calgon take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Danneill
