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haka/empty/h2y
#1351994 04/06/05 01:28 PM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 91
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lucidity Offline OP
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lucidity
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Posts: 91
My girlfriend came into town last weekend.
It was nice seeing her, it had been sometime since we talked.
she caught me off guard when she told me she had slept with my H more than once about 5 years ago. She also told me about 2 other woman she knew about.
I was not surprised, I was just reevaluating everything that had gone on in my marriage.
I can't help but think that my whole marriage was one big lie now.
H always said how important it was to be honest and open about everything.
Looking back and hearing what i heard I really don't think there was anything my H was ever honest about.
Maybe that is why this whole plan A, plan B never worked out.
I thought about confronting him about it but he has lied this long, I am sure he will lie about it again.
Should I just let it be? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Re: haka/empty/h2y
lucidity #1351995 04/06/05 01:39 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
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Faith1 Offline
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In order to find your answers... Examine your motives....

What do you want for your life?

Do you want your marriage?

What would you gain by confronting him?
Re: haka/empty/h2y
lucidity #1351996 04/06/05 02:44 PM
Joined: Mar 2001
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LostHusband Offline
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Quote
Should I just let it be? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

In your situation, I cannot think of one single positive thing that could result in a confrontation. Sad to say, the ship has sailed. However, if you want to drive a wedge further between y'all then be my guest.

(((Lucidity))) While you're focusing your energy on these types of things, you are loosing site of the major issues at hand and allowing yourself to stay in the same rut you've been in for all these years. And I think it's been proven that that ain't working to well for you or you sons.

Instead, I challenge you to face the real issues head on with no excuses and do the next right thing for you and your children. Take away the power that he has over you and move your life in a continual positive direction.

And it all starts with the next step you choose to take.....

As Alwayz - Hugz, Thoughts, & Prayers

Hugz, Thoughtz, & Prayerz

Bill
Re: haka/empty/h2y
LostHusband #1351997 04/06/05 03:34 PM
Joined: Jun 2001
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_AD_ Offline
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Lucidity,

I don't know what to say. You seem so beaten down by life. You made some bad choices, but your H betrayed you also - and came on here and depicted himself as a poor victim - made you out to be the only one who did anything wrong.

I hope that you can go forward with getting some kind of reasonable visitation set up for your boys. I don't see much reason to confront him about this. If you want to, you could just send him a little note saying that you had an illuminating lunch with your old GF. He knows what he did.

Keep moving up.

-AD

A guy, 50. Divorced in 2005.
Re: haka/empty/h2y
LostHusband #1351998 04/06/05 03:38 PM
Joined: Apr 1999
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Lor (Lor) Offline
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Lucidity, I may be off on your timeline, but wouldn't 5 years ago fall into the time when you were living with the OM? I know that wouldn't excuse or be a good reason for his lying, but, infidelity situations are difficult & painful, bad decisions can be made by either partner. Decisions they don't want to talk about.

How sure are you the friend is telling the truth? Any reason that she might have to want to make you feel lied to? Afterall, she didn't tell you 5 years ago either....

Lor

Married 1983
H's co-worker PA began 1998
Multiple separations
Marital recovery 2000

H deployment 14 mo 2004-2005
Empty nest fall 2006

Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things. Phil 4:8

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