Ok here I go. My fiance and I are about to marry (next month) and we work very well as a couple, I love him dearly and I know he loves me a lot as well. We have great sex life and also enjoy doing things together. I have no doubts he´s the man for me. BUT, he is an only child (26) and his mother is widow since 1996. She is ill due to a brain tumor that she got removed when she was 10. She can walk, dress herself, go up and downstairs, she even travel often, But she uses a wheelchair because she cant walk long distances or she cant even go to the quickshop on her own.
It seems funny how she cant do all these things, but has a man I mean a bf who comes and locks up in her bedroom for 5 to 6 hours twice a week. She hangs thongs and clear signs that they have intimate relationship.
Well, this doesnt bother me and I only mention to provide context. I think she is ill but makes it look a lot worse than it really is in order to get attention from my fiance and people in general.
She has no friends, only 1 who is very religious and ivnited her to pray together....this is where she met the current bf who was seeing someone else and she practically stole it from her, reason why now they meet at her house in secret. Nobody is allowed to talk about her relationship with this man, and they play a farse at the religious group.

I know this is long, but its my torment.

From the moment she met me, she started with sarcastic comments about me, my country, and everything.
She made it almost imposibble to be together. Also she has called me "piggie" in different ocassions and for Xmas she gave me socks with pigs on it.
She also is french, so she speaks in french behind my back with this only friend she´s got and wants to speak in french with my fiance when im around. I find it disgusting, when we all speak english.

She has been mean to me many times respect to my skin color, respect to almost everything to do with myself.

The thing is: If I marry him next month, I would be moving there with him, and it would mean having a tie with her, also if we have children, then the tie is even bigger.

I can´t stand this woman, she represents the last thing I´d like to become one day and the last person I´d choose to be around.

HELP please! Should I leave him? Should I risk?
Marrying and moving there means leaving my family here and friends, and everyone that I know here.

Have you talked with him about your feelings?

Has he stood up for you to her?

What about her calling you names - has he told her that she risks losing him if she continues to disrespect the woman he loves?

Has he told her that he and you would prefer to leave if she speaks french while you are there?

Has he told her that he will not be moving home if this is not a safe place for you?

If he is not sensitive to you, protective of you and honoring of you now to this woman, how can you expect that he would do any better once you are married to him and moved away from all you knew and loved before him?

If he is your champion now, and doesn't cater to this woman, then you have no reason to fear. Trust him. If he is trying to get you to adapt, things will not improve once he has you for certain.

Courtship time gives some clues as to what will happen after marriage. Amplify neglectful areas, and minimize all the lovebank deposits, and you have a picture of marriage 6 months, 1 year, or more. So if he is not defending you now, amplify that by 1000 fold. I think that if this is the case, you will no longer love him shortly after the wedding is over.

Thanks Kayla for your insight. I do appreciate it.

Well the thing is she is even horrible to him and the day she called me piggie, she called him piggie as well. She dared telling us that "when we have babies they will be piggies as well". She has tried to talk to me in private in her room and told me that he is a liar, that he has always told everyone many lies. So basically she´s used to speak bad behind people´s back and not sweet to him, always requesting and demmanding things and some I find humilliating like, she leaves dirty dishes on the floor, near her bedroom everytime her bf visits, and that is to have my fiance collecting them, taking them downstairs and wash them for her.

I tell this because I have talked to him about how I feel and what it´s like to live so near the enemy and He says that I shouldnt worry because this is how she is, and how she treats EVERYONE. He has told me that I should ignore her comments just as he does and dont let them affect me; but I feel failing in this, she bothers me too much to ignore or perhaps I´m too weak not to take notice.

Lately she is playing the "good girl" by sending me emails and asks stuff about the wedding, my dress, work, and even sending her regards to my family.
Unfotunately, I dont believe her, I cant trust her.

But he has stood for me before, he has even told her off once in my face.
He says I should trust US and dont give anyone importance when they dont have it.

The thing is he´s keen to stand by me and support. Today we will talk about the Joint Agreement to see what he thinks.

All I need is luck!

Thanks again for your time.