Bit of a long story.

2.5 weeks ago found out FWW pregnant. Kind of happy since thought this might put us together and rebuild our M after her A.

Last night found out she's not sure if I'm father. She opened up and said she had "farewell sex" with OM on Feb. 2. Was "lazy" and did not use protection. I was a bit shocked as I thought she had no PA with OM since last November.

So, I was intimate with her on Feb. 12. She has not seen a Dr. but knows about when "it happened".

We had been really improving M, since her final NC on March 5, '05. Since I Plan A'ing all this time since Sept. '04 and she was finally coming out of the fog after 5 weeks of NC.

Anyway, what to do now. I do not want to be with her if she has OM child.

Please provide advice on prenatal paternity testing.

Thanks much.


Me - 44
FWW - 38
DS - 15
M - 16 yrs

NC - too many. evidently March 5, '05

Is your wife having an amnio? Since she's over 30, her doc would probably suggest it...if she is, ask the doc about the pat. test.

- Kimmy

You may also want to go to the preg/child board for support and guidance. So sorry about your sitch.

Oye Vey..... (((Kristof))) I wish we had a "smack you up side the head" icon... I don't know anything about paternity tests but do believe that having babies while in a troubled marriage, only distracts you both from seriously working on it.

I, myself, had my last two kids while we were having "trouble". And it passified both of us for about 2.5 years each time, then the problems that we were trying to solve before the pregnancy were right there once again, only know aged with 5 years of resentments.

Again, I don't know about the paternity and where you go from here, but do ask that you keep your eyes open.

Wow, what a pisser. You gotta ask her doc this question.

Even if such a test could be done, I bet she'd have to agree to it. What is her attitude about this?

What would you each do if such a test were performed and OM is the biological father?

You'll know at birth. You'll know. If you aren't sure then, you as the "marital" father should be able to request a paternity test unilaterally. Check with an attorney.

Also, what do you know about OM? Does he know he may be the Dad?

WAT

kristof~

Amnio is the only way to find out paternity before the baby's born. (I don't think there's another way, but might be wrong).

Always a risk of losing a healthy baby with amnio though, so a lot of women won't do it. Kimmy's right, most docs will recommend it to a woman your wife's age anyway. If she doesn't do an amnio, a baby can be tested immediately upon birth.

You need to seek legal counsel asap to find out all your options, as in most states the baby will be legally recognized as yours by virtue of being married to the mother.

Best regards,
~ad