She knows I am on MB, but she's never checked out the site. A while back, when we were first starting to repair our M I suggested that we check out MB together (I had already been reading it extensively) and she greed that we could. We never did though. I did bring up some things like PORH and POJA and she thought the POJA was extreme, but she was still defending her independence to the max then.
I actually only come here and post for the most part to follow a few other people's stories. I feel like we are well on our way. Actually my FWW noticed I was on MB yesterday (although she didn't read) and seemed surprised that I was. "Are you still hung up on that?" I believe was her response. Knowing my FWW like I do, she really has made the decision to move on. The A is history to her and she doesn't dwell. BUT, the guilt will follow her for a long time too. How that works I'm not sure, but she accomplishes it.
I'm sure some of my comments on the boards here would upset her and she would have her own opinion. But that's what these boards are all about. I may let her read all my posts just to foster openness!
On the other hand, I don't think I'll be here as much anymore. I'm beginning to realize it is also keeping me dwelling on the past. I don't get an emotional charge from thinking about it all anymore. I do come to check on you Suzy, and Squiggle, and MarkNY.
We are definitely in recovery. We still go to MC with our pastor, and continue to move forward with that. We learned some hard lessons through this, but like they seem to say in all those books, I think we're emerging on the other side stronger. The whole "trial by fire thing".
Thanks for your support too, Suzy. I've been following you ever since you let on we had nearly the same DDay (can you believe that mine was the day after my BDay? If so, where was the Cday? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)
I'll continue to be around for ya, Suz. Support you the whole way. I really do think that you will be "lucky" although you (edit:not you personally <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />) always seem to get to the place you want to be, and then realize it's not quite what you imagined - it's better and not as good as good at the same time, just different than you expected. All part of growing up I guess. One great thing to report is that looking back, things don't look as bad as I thought they were when I was in the middle of it. Ever the optimist, I always look for the positive - in this case the better communication, renewed commitment, and the realization that we really do love each other. Yes, it still sucks when I think about it, but it doesn't really hurt anymore and some positives came out of it.
Thanks for following me too! It is good to have some people you know stick with you instead of anonymous input and advice all the time.
Stick to those boundries! See ya around. And if I'm not on the boards for a few days, you've got my email!
