Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1354569 04/08/05 07:43 PM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 309
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 309
Hello,

I just wanted to say I've been watching your posts the past couple weeks. I am so happy for you. I sounds like your FWW has come around and you two are truly in recovery.

I've kept up with your story from the beginning because I remember we had the same Dday - 12/6, right?? We were probably going through the same crap at the same time.

I hope that I can be so lucky some day. I haven't posted to my thread in a few days because I just need a break from the whole drama of it. You've been right there for me though and I want to say thank you so much!!
When someone takes the time to follow your story and give their thoughts, it just means so much.

I wanted to ask you one question, as I have not seen it mentioned in any of your posts (I apologize if I missed it.)
Does your FWW know that you are on this site regularly??

My WH has known about it from the start and understands the whole concept of it. He would never do the NC letter.

Since Dday #2, he knew that his promises and words really meant nothing in my eyes because I don't take well being lied to.
He made a nasty comment on my thread, as you know, but I don't believe he's been on here since then. It was one of his anger moments. sigh.....

I know a few have moved or added SYMC. I have registered over there, but have not posted my saga yet. My WH wouldn't ever find that site, I'm sure.
I'm not comfortable with my WH reading my posts any longer. That's why I was wondering if your FWW read yours. thanks and again I am so happy for you and your W!!!


BW 42 WH 41 M 14 yrs ds12,dd7 PA ?? mo/yrs. Day 12/6/04, 3/20/05 and 9/2/05 "Fool me once, fool me twice, and he fooled me a third time?" I never really found out for sure...
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 151
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 151
She knows I am on MB, but she's never checked out the site. A while back, when we were first starting to repair our M I suggested that we check out MB together (I had already been reading it extensively) and she greed that we could. We never did though. I did bring up some things like PORH and POJA and she thought the POJA was extreme, but she was still defending her independence to the max then.

I actually only come here and post for the most part to follow a few other people's stories. I feel like we are well on our way. Actually my FWW noticed I was on MB yesterday (although she didn't read) and seemed surprised that I was. "Are you still hung up on that?" I believe was her response. Knowing my FWW like I do, she really has made the decision to move on. The A is history to her and she doesn't dwell. BUT, the guilt will follow her for a long time too. How that works I'm not sure, but she accomplishes it.

I'm sure some of my comments on the boards here would upset her and she would have her own opinion. But that's what these boards are all about. I may let her read all my posts just to foster openness!

On the other hand, I don't think I'll be here as much anymore. I'm beginning to realize it is also keeping me dwelling on the past. I don't get an emotional charge from thinking about it all anymore. I do come to check on you Suzy, and Squiggle, and MarkNY.

We are definitely in recovery. We still go to MC with our pastor, and continue to move forward with that. We learned some hard lessons through this, but like they seem to say in all those books, I think we're emerging on the other side stronger. The whole "trial by fire thing".

Thanks for your support too, Suzy. I've been following you ever since you let on we had nearly the same DDay (can you believe that mine was the day after my BDay? If so, where was the Cday? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

I'll continue to be around for ya, Suz. Support you the whole way. I really do think that you will be "lucky" although you (edit:not you personally <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />) always seem to get to the place you want to be, and then realize it's not quite what you imagined - it's better and not as good as good at the same time, just different than you expected. All part of growing up I guess. One great thing to report is that looking back, things don't look as bad as I thought they were when I was in the middle of it. Ever the optimist, I always look for the positive - in this case the better communication, renewed commitment, and the realization that we really do love each other. Yes, it still sucks when I think about it, but it doesn't really hurt anymore and some positives came out of it.

Thanks for following me too! It is good to have some people you know stick with you instead of anonymous input and advice all the time.

Stick to those boundries! See ya around. And if I'm not on the boards for a few days, you've got my email!

Last edited by down but trying; 04/09/05 02:14 PM.

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (still seeking), 369 guests, and 60 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
vivian alva, Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson
72,027 Registered Users
Latest Posts
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0