I hope this went to the correct subject. If not, I've started something new. I'm having a really hard time figuring out this new set up. Sorry.

Here's my problem: [color:"red"] [/color]

HE'S NOT TRYING!! [color:"red"] [/color]
Or at least it doesn't seem like he's putting any effort into repairing what he's done to ruin our marriage. What should I expect from my husband who had an Emotional Affair with OW from his office? He said he's going to tell his boss about the A but he's afraid of losing his job. In the meantime H & OW STILL work together. H says he's not communicating with her. I do believe to an extend BUT they still have to talk about work.

So far my WS has writing a draft of the NC letter but not sent it, has done some reading from the info on MB website. (too bad he had Lasik eye surgury done last week & can't read much of anythign right now... minor set back) And he's made an appointment with a MC who comes highly reccommmended. We've made love a few times & he seems to be more sincerely affectionate then before. But he's doing much of the same things he did when he was hiding the A from me so I can't tell if it's 100% honest affection from H.

D-Day was March 4, 2005. I guess when I write things out it does looklike he's trying but I guess I'm expceting to hear the "I'm sorry's & forgive me" I'd love some flowers or even a card but is this just expecting too much & will that come with time?

I've been trying to deposit love units into his bank daily. I haven't mentioned the A or asked questions b/c I feel that we only take steps back & he gets pissed, fustrated, etc... and can never give me an answer. My H suffers severe depression and this has been one of our problems in our marriage. This is where I think a MC will benefit us.

I figured that I'd let H be by himself when he got depressed & that he'd eventually turn to talk with me. Instead he found OW at the office. I just gave up after a while & accept the fact he would never open up to me like he did before we were married. He even says that I've always been there for him & he knew he could always talk with me. We hadn't had sex in 1 yr (about the time he started developing feelings for OW). Just some background.


So what should I expect from WS as far as showing remorse? and actively pursuing help for us & HIMSELF???

Does anyone have some insight?

THANKS!
TLC

Hang in there. I know that sounds easier said than done, but it is the only thing to do at this point. I went through the same thing w/my WH. It took a full month to get to NC. I couldn't believe that he would have the nerve to keep it up & keep lying to me after I found out! He totally went through the fog & withdrawl & is still going through it. My WH also seems to be battling depression, our MC actually thinks he is bipolar & is hoping to have him evaluated for that. He says continuously that he is trying, but it seems more one sided to me. I am doing the best plan A I can & meeting his EN's to the best of my ability, and getting nothing in return. The others here can tell you it is all normal from WS's. I also expected the I'm Sorry's & groveling & flowers & I am still waiting to see any of those things. Some days are much better than others. Just know that you are not alone. Have you read SAA? It is very helpful, I just picked it up again for a second reading because I got to the point of wanting to give up again, but I keep telling myself it has only been just over 2 months & to keep working at it. WH has started to come around, hopefully that trend continues.

Hang in there & stay here for the support. You will need it & you will get plenty of it here!