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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1 |
Hello my name is Sheila and I have been married for 14y with H for 18y recently filed bankruptcy lost home and have been told by H that his feelings for me have changed and he has left and has been gone for about two months, I have tried and read every book to help save our marriage but he doesn't even want to talk about this. I understand he has taken a look at our marriage and there has been mistakes by both of us, so much has happened and I am trying to be as strong as I can for our 8y old son. I have recently finished a relationship course and I have told him what I need from him but he hasn't even addressed the situation. I believe he is in denial and is depressed, dealing with mid-life crisis. I am not sure what I should be doing now or if I should be doing anything.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 27
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Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 27 |
Thanks for sharing. You sound panicked...and it's understandable. Please don't take this as "advice" just my input and from someone that cares but doesn't know the whole situation. Have you ever heard of detachment with love? I found some info on it, if you're interested. http://www.ojar.com/view_91.htmIt seems that your husband is going through something, and the very best thing you can do is to focus on taking care of YOU. If you do not take care of YOU first, you will not be able to care for your child. He needs to work through whatever it is. Not the best timing but "issues" just popup...that's just the way life is for us humans!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I believe they happen for a reason. What is that reason? We will have to wait and see...it is not up to us. That's why I choose to just Hand it Over. I can not control another human's actions. I can only work on what comes out of my mouth and how I choose to behave. Trust me, I've tried to figure out my husband by getting up in his face (lovingly, with anger, whatever!), didn't work..nothing worked. Then I decided to do what everyone kept telling me...to focus on ME. I am deserving of being given MY attention. I've been making great progress on getting to know AND liking ME. Hang in there and remember you are NOT alone! Take care!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Sheila - Welcome to marriagebuilders. Glad that you found us. You might want to post on general questions, as you will get more responses.
Is there any possibility your husband is having an affair?
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