It has been 33 days since He first admitted to having a girlfriend. We are trying to work it out. But I just can’t let it go. I was doing good, but the past day has been driving me nuts.

I know why, I had a missed call on my cell phone from someone I didn’t know. They did not leave a message, but did not hang up when the VM call on. It was a local cell number & I thought I had seen it on the bill when I checked them last month. So of course, I check which just REMINDS ME of all the calls & TM they shared.

I wonder what they talked about. I found the last 2 after he admitted to A. One said “Miss you” and I can’t remember what the other said. What hurts is that he Tmed her that he missed her, before he Tmed me to tell me where he was.

I know if I want to work things out, but why did we just take these BIG steps BACK! I have not told him yet, I know I should but I am just SO mad right now.

I Tmed him a message today, Just a simple “HI” with no from number. He is suppose to keep ALL messages, So I am waiting to see if he says anything. I KNOW I SHOULDN’T play games. I just NEED to know if he is going to tell me if she contacts them. He changed jobs and is now 40 minutes away from her, but that does make me less untrusting.

How do I look forward and not back. He REALLY has not done anything to make me questions him and is doing everything right, I Just CAN”T LET GO! Please help, I want to save my marriage but right now…I HATE HIM…again. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

Hi Angi,

Have you read the articles on the main site about affairs, Plan A and
so forth? Some of that information may be helpful to you, as well as
reading the message boards <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> .

Has your husband ended the affair? Has he broken off all contact with
her? Are you two in marriage counseling? Are you two talking about
what happened?

33 days can seem like an eternity after going through something so
traumatic as discovering your spouse is having an affair. It's really
not that long though, my husband and I have been in recovery for 7 months
and I still freak out quite often. It's just part of the process.

Sio

I am in the middle of Surviving an affair. I actually borrowed if from the library because 1) Money is VERY tight and 2) I didn’t want to wait for it to be delivered.

I am trying VERY hard to work on Plan A. It is just not in my nature. BUT I WAS DOING VERY WELL!

He swears he has broken all contact with her. He quit the job where he was working with her. The 2nd job where he was working, because she would come and meet him for drinks and ‘whatever’ after he was done. Both jobs were 40 minutes from OUR home, but only about 10-15 from her. He actually went through the town she lives in to the between the two jobs. I surprised him at his 2nd job the night he told me he wanted to end it with her and come home and talk to me. He actually had planned to meet with her before coming HOME! I made him break up with her in front of me. About 9 days later she called his cell phone while we were at home and my grandma was there. When I asked how it was, he said Rox (my SIL). I said, Good, I need to talk to her & grabbed the phone off of him. That is when she said “It is not that I haven’t wanted to call you, I just knew I shouldn’t. Do you work tomorrow?” I said does it matter. She didn’t say anything, I said it again LOUDER and she hung up. To the best of my knowledge, she has never called again. We have no home phone and He has not called or Tmed her from his cell that I know (billing ends 23rd). Work would be the only way, & it is long distance.

We are going to our 2nd counseling session tonight, Our insurance will not cover it so we started to church the 9 days after we got back together (YEP – The 1st time she called.) and our pasture has been talking to us. (His idea to try church – very out of character for him!) We talked a lot about it in the beginning & It just made me madder (I always asked/talked…he just listened and answered.) He just said the more we talked about it, the more he thought about her and the harder it was to forget.

I did check his phone this morning (he got home late from work) & found out that when I hide the caller ID on my phone, it still sends it for TM so, he knew it was from me. That is why he never mentioned it. Lost sleep over NOTHING!

This board has been a big help! Thanks everyone!