I am new, so please bear with me. This may be a long post.

Married 28 years. H is 47 I am 45. We have two sons ages 24 and 20.

3 plus years ago my H text messaged me at work telling me that he no longer wanted to be married. He no longer loved me and wanted out. No other reasons were given. He moved out that night. After 10 long months of virtually no contact other than his minimal effort with our sons and finances, I started to finally put all the puzzle pieces together. More time went by and he finally admitted to living with a coworker and her son for the last several months, they were a family, he was sorry for all the lies, etc. He also admitted to having two other affairs. Also with coworkers. Several days later he comes to my door in the morning in tears saying he made a huge mistake and wanted our family back (sons were not speaking to him). Several months of him waffling back and forth between his feelings for her and me. We decided with assistance from our Marriage counselor that he should quit his job of 25 years and go back to school for his teaching credential. His discontent with work and himself were the main contributing factors to his MLC. Not seeing her everyday helped our relationship tremendously although now I wish he would have stayed and finished that out so he could see the kind of person she really was once their relationship was out in the open. Because he didnt he still feels sorry for her and that she was a good person who just made a mistake because she was lonely. There has been no contact with her or any more inappropriate contact with any other woman since then.

Fast forward to now. I have been supporting myself my H and my youngest son on my own for almost 3 years while they are in college which was my decision.

My problem is that there has been very little intimacy between us. Few and very far between.

His reason is this. He needs to focus on school. It is not easy on him. He has to work harder than the average person. In order to do this he can have no distractions, meaning sex. He can coach the JC baseball team because that provides a stress outlet for him, but nothing more. He is kind and loving, just nothing else. No hugs really no kissing and no sex. During our last conversation he said he is convinced that once he is done with school (another 18 months) he will back to normal and we can resume our life.

As you can imagine I am scared. Scared that this is just another excuse to not have to touch me. I am a bit overweight but working on it and of course the "other woman" have all been thin and he used that as a excuse in the beginning, that he needed the visual stimulation they gave him. He now owns up to his mistakes and no longer blames me but....
Is this really possible what he is saying or am I being lied to again?
My own counselor says when he looks at himself in the mirror he sees a scumbucket looking back at him and that makes him angry with me so he is punishing me by taking the one thing he knows I need the most from him. I have backed way off, no more discussions no pressure.

Does anyone have any suggestions. I dont want to give up but feel so depressed so often.

Well, it does seem a little odd. But your counselor may be right.

On the other hand, I can't think of a better stress outlet than sex...

And lastly, your H's priorities are seriously out-of-whack, if school is getting placed above the marriage. It just isn't right, and it's sending all the wrong signals.