Hello to all. I am new here. Not sure if there is where I need to post or not. Anyway, found out seven months ago that my husband was unfaithful. Was with a co-worker for about 8 to 9 months. I found out for sure the day before my birthday. She is no longer an issue as far as I can tell. Our marriage before the affair was okay, not the greatest. We both had issues and were just plain stubborn. Since the affair broke, we have both been plugged in to our marriage and things are going pretty well except that I am still holding on to some resentment and trust is a huge issue. My husband has been absolutely wonderful, very caring, attentive, loving, he lets me vent when I need to and in turn I try to be a rock for him too because I know things are not easy for him either. He has been very remorseful and tries to do everything he can to help me. Just wondering if tehre is anyone else out there who has had the same problem with resentment and what things have you done to help you get past it and move on.

Welcome to MB!

Trust and resentment issues are normal in recovery.

This article on resentment is very helpful.

How long has the affair been over? Was it over when you found out or did he end it after?

Keep posting, you'll get lots of good advice!

Frags

The affair was ongoing when found out. Had suspected it for a while but stayed in denial as long as possible. My husband cut it off immediately and basically has made an about-face from day one, I confronted him in September 04. I have been on the marriagebuilders website many times, reading articles and I understand everything that is said and it has been very good insight for me. I appreicate the link to the article that you gave me. I really feel my fears are unrealistic at this point, meaning I truly don't feel he would do this to me again, I have found out literally everything there is to find out and we have and we have talked and talked, we have had such meaningful conversations since the affair broke. We are both determined to make this marriage work and be the best it can be. We have a 10-year old son who has not a clue what is going on.