OK so....per our "agreement" xh and his OW *I will never call her his GF* are meeting us today.....why because i would rather have DS meet her in my presence to be more secure than have WH steal him off secretly to meet her. DS would be more comfortable with me there. Truth is they have been together for awhile and i have moved on...it's gonna have to happen. I am not happy with it by no means. I don't like this woman...truth of the matter is I hate her....but when it comes to my son I am fiercly protective...now do I have to be pleasant to this woman? do I have to shake the hand of the horrible person who destroyed a family and claims to be so high, mighty, and religious. Do i have to be cordial to this wench who got my husband and has her sites on haveing a "relationship" with MY son? I have so much anger and I don't think it will ever be gone....any advice how to handle today?

Here's my take:

1. Take a good support person with you to help you cope with his dramatic event.

2. Reassure your child of your love for him. Remind him you are mama.

3. Inform your child that this OW has a name and give your child her name. Make it simple but you don't have to make it friendly. You tell your child what YOU want your child to call the OW. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Not aunty or something friendly. Tell her to call her 'lady'.

BS: Son, this is the lady. You can call her Ms. Lady, ok? Momma loves you very much and your daddy needs to take you for a little while. Ms. Lady can not touch you or hurt you, ok?

Son: nods.

BS: I love you (ask for a hug)

Son: love momma - (gives you hug in front of Ms. Lady)

The reason for this is to impress your child with the fact that this person is NOT family and should not be treated as such. At least not yet. Your child c/b your advocate, champion for you. Reassuring your child of your love is critical. Greet and end all convo's with him around this time of your reassuring your love for him. He will remember this.

My friend's WS tried to het his child who was less than 1 year to call the OW momma and take a family picture at a studio with his OW and child as a 'father's day' present to himself. Crazy or what? BS found out and stopped it. Her son is well aware of who momma really is. BTW, the WS later received an RO filed by the BS (I was the one who delivered it along with 2 strappy police officers and one of her other girlfriends- LOL!!! ).

4. Carry tissue.

Hope this helps.

L.

Hey girl!
Well, I don't know how in the heck you're going to go through with this but I wish you the best.
I don't plan on ever doing that with my son. The OW was part of why my son's father is gone and I will forever hate her and wish her misery in her life. My son has expressed that he doesn't want to be around this person.
My STBX is now saying that he doesn't plan on introducing them because she may not be the one he ends up with.....DUHHHH>....I knew that was coming!!!!! He'll cheat again.

sorry guys I didn't get home till late last night and by then the forum was down....Thanks so much orchid for your insight it kept me sane...a little <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />...and tree *hugs* thanks for the support as well...you my girl *highfive*

OK here's how it went...my girlfriend and I got there early to have a picnic with DS.....well then "they" arrived....as they walked up I had to turn my head...but not to wipe a tear....to stifle a laugh...looking at her all i could think OMG please tell me he isn't serious <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />...THIS is what he left me for...so all the reports from people who had seen them together were true....she's not just ugly...she's FUGLY....gives a new meaning to the word bumping uglies...hahaha....OK first off I noticed her nose (I am not joking) you know those prostetic noses you wear when you dress up as a witch for halloween.....yup it's real....big bump in the middle of that honker....second thing I noticed...BUCK TEETH...which are snaggletoothed sticking out of her mouth....3rd thing....brightly orange red died hair....and 4th thing...overweight....can my husband pickem or can he pickem...hahaha *falls on the floor laughing*.....i didn't talk to her....my friend did...but now I officially know DORK is stupid...he left me for THAT....*shudders* now I know why he made the comment about impetince...the sad thing is I realized what he's done....she was totally CONVIENECE rebound....she's insecure...really low self esteem.....and clingy...just what he needed to make himself feel better.....and she's so easy to control....and she would be better to have than me because I stepped up and said NO MORE. Well if they go on and make it I feel sorry for any kids they might have....to be brought into a relationship I have been told is rocky and was based on a lie. Oh well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I am tickled pink to know I can outshine OW ANY DAY of the week on the first day of PMS after eating chocolate. Man karma is a B&$@% ain't it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

HA HA!!!! Good...I'm glad she's ugly. My STBX's OW is FUGLY too. One of my friends had a sighting yesterday and she about fell out of her chair. She said she's unbelivably ugly! HA HA!!!!!!
Well, they picked em' so they can have em'!
So, how did she act around your son? That's what important! How old is this chic?

SIHW

I am sorry that you have to be faced with this situation. As you say you have to protect that child and everything in that "meeting" will have some affect on that child. We have a three year old grandson I cannot imagine hurting him. As you say you are very protective of your child so now you must be sure that he is protected. If his father continues in his relationship with OW then your child will develop a relationship with her...he deserves a happy life.
H

well she acted very shy.....I couldn't look at her or talk to her...I made sure there was ALOT of space between us...WH didn't push her to interact....it wasn't till DS was throwing a fit and threw a ball at her because his dad handed him something and he didn't want it.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> she thought he wanted to play catch...ok whatever....welll as I said I didn't talk to her at all hardly...but my friend did....she told my friend she wanted to just go over and pick him up....my friend told her it was NOT a good idea...number one he doesn't know you and he's in the terrible twos if you stop him from doing somethng he wants to do he will scream bloody murder....and number two you will severly piss off his mother....and you don't want to do that....but then she was "praising me" to my friend...she couldn't believe I asked to do this....WTF <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />....I never asked to do it...WH demanded it and I told him toget his [censored] in gear.....then she couldn't believe how good I am with MY son.....WTF again.....whats he telling her...that I beat my son???
but all in all per my friend who's very incisive in these situations could tell me...OW is too uneasy being around a child...she's not ready for this and it's most likely WH pushing for it more...yeah so I will be laying down ground rules...he still is not allowed to take DS by himself....but I have to go to chicago for a confrence in may so he's taking care of him...I didn't want to do it....but he was my only option....arrrgh! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />....but she didn't interact too much with him....I had to get him going to interact and play....he doesn't know her so pretty much ignored her...which I didn't mind at all <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />...he mostly played with his dad and I. My boy is soooo smart.

Surviving - I always love your posts, because they make me laugh out loud. Nothing like finding out that the OW is coyote ugly.

Relax a little, and maybe you can find some more humor in this.

I am here for your entertainment value <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
*huggles believer* and I enjoy it when you read my comical adventures in divorceland <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

yeah well if his friends dogged on him for me being a little overweight...I can only imagine what they are saying now...*snickers*

even my boyfriend was like....ewwwww....I thought the people who had seen them together were over exhagerating....but now I know hahaha.....