OK. So I implement a decent Plan A and things seem to be going ok. The WW seems to be coming along and starts to see what is going on. She confides in me the OM faults and there are quite a few of them. I sit there and listen. The OM continues to have an intimate relationship with his own wife and my WW doesn't seem to pleased. OM and his wife have 3 kids together. The youngest being only 1 year old. WW leaves hints that she is considering maybe giving our M another try sonewhere down the road. She also seems very curious about what I am doing with my time. I make sure that I get rid of any LB's for the most part. I slipped one night and let out a whole bunch of LB's but I immediately implement damage control.

Here are my problems. The OM's wife has lost her mind and started going off and sleeping with other men. At least 2 in the last 2 weeks. The OM now sees his own marriage as a lost cause. Tells WW that he wants to be with her full time now. Next thing you know they take a weekend trip to the ocean several hours away. So they are back on again. WW's Mom watches our son knowing what is going on. I find out about it all by accident just an hour ago.

So it looks like grandma is supporting what is going on. By the way, she had her own affair when WW was just a kid also. She doesn't seemed to be phased by all this.

So, I'd guess I go with Plan B now??? If so how dark do I go? WW sends emails to me asking how I am doing. Do I not reply to these? Do I keep our conversations to a minimal? Unfortunately I have to talk to her because we have to make arrangements for our son on a daily basis. Do I not tell her what I do on a daily basis even if she asks?

It's been 3 months since I found out about the A. Is this a normal time frame for this? Am I expecting to much to quick? Plan B can last how long? How on earth can my WW reverse course like this and so quickly?

Here is how I feel about the whole situation. I'm just venting. I feel like beating the F out of this guy. I've never met a more selfish individual. He is also extremely arrogant. Both him and my WW. There are 4 kids involved here. They don't seem to care about the kids at all. Neither one have truly considered giving their respective M a 2nd try. How on earth can they so easily throw away their marriages and their kids lives like this? The OM's w isn't making this easy either. Why has she gone off and started sleeping with other men? Why am I the only one not getting any??? LOL.

I guess I just let it pan out like in the book "Surviving an Affair"? They may even move in together I guess.

Hi, Bobby.

What are you doing to protect your son?

Gimble

Bobby, I am also wondering about your son. If your W is running off with an OM and dumping him at mothers, shouldn't you get the boy full time? Is she a fit influence for him right now?

What have you done to help end this affair? Have you exposed it to all key people?

And lastly, how long have you done a solid Plan A? I don't think it has been long since you lovebusted her, and you sure don't want to jump into a Plan B unless you have done a good Plan A first. Otherwise, plan B serves as just a relief to get you out of her hair.

Bobby Milkshake! They DON'T care about the kids. HELLOOOO!

Dreaming about beating the F out of him is OK. Doing it is NOT. I have the same urge. Actually he has a pierced sensitive area apparently. I'd love to just rip the sucker out!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

My wife and the OM are only concerned about seeing each other. Think HEROIN. All they want is their fix. There are no kids. This will be better for the kids because the WS's feel better. They're happy.

My wife filed paperwork for divorce last Wednesday. I rescinded my agreement today. It's our job to alienate and let them wallow in their decisions. We do NOT need to subject our kids to it. Take care of yours. I'm taking care of mine, and he's much better off with you than a mom who's out to get a fix with the new man.

She may be a good mother in the future, and she may have been in the past, but she's not now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

SIS

Excellent post, SIS!

Gimble

Dang, Sleepless! You're getting good at this!!

Sleepless is right, BobbyMilkShake. The WS and OP only care about themselves and their fix right now. As Gimble has told me, your kid needs a hero right now - and you're the only one up for the job. Stay strong!

It would be nice if you did not make assumptions about the OM's wife. Just because I have chosen not to continue an unhealthy friendship with you does not mean that I have lost my mind or even that I have become a tramp. Not really sure where you got your information but I can only guess that it came from your wife who is clearly as dishonest as my husband. Please do not post false information about me. The only thing you succeeded in doing was insulting me (in other posts as well) and causing additional problems between myself and my husband.

Oh my...

It looks like the OM's wife is posting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Welcome aplblosms - Good to see you here. Why don't you start your own thread, so this doesn't turn into a big disagreement.

Most of us are very experienced in affairs, and know how the betrayed spouse is denigrated by the affair partner. Hope you will stick around here and post. It is a great place to be under the circumstances.

Aplblosms, how is it "unhealthy" to have a friendship with Bobby? If y'all worked together, you might be able to bust up this little party. You would also be able to expose lies that your spouses tell about you and prevent Bobby from believing them.


Do you want to save your marriage?

and apl I would seriously think about melody's question because what you WH and bobby's W are doing is not just having an affect on you...think about the 4 kids involved....truthfully if you guys did work together to bust up there affair...it would be better for your children to not have to go thru there affair...because believe you me girl....they WILL drag your kids into it. I speak from first hand experience....they will try to start a happy little family bringing all the kids together under there care...and with bobby's W's enabling mother in there corner....it will be one big mess that will seriously hurt your kids.

Apl,

I apologize for what I have written and assumed. It was wrong of me to make those assumptions of you based on information i have received. Although I thought my venting here was anonymous it isn't an excuse for insulting you. I hope that someday you accept my apology. Your the last person here that deserves that and the last I wanted to hurt in any way.

I realize now my wife must have figured out that I was a member here and gave that info to your H. I know where loyalties lie now. I understand that both will probably read this and I realize the worse I/we look the more justification for what they have done. Unfortunately, my emotions have been out of control and I have not been all that great at not giving my WW her justification.

In the last couple of weeks I have been doing better and I believe that as each day goes by it will improve for me. I know I was a good husband and a good guy overall. I refuse to be convinced now that I was anything less. I have imperfections and faults but I was willing to do whatever it took to repair my marriage. This is my last post and I wish the rest of you the best of luck.

how do we know it wasn't your wife posting trying to keep you from the only place that you have to support you through this....and if his wife is reading this....woman you better be glad I'm not where you are.

and if it is OM's wife I have this to say....you should be so ashamed of yourself....your anger is understandable...but to come on once post a nasty message and not even reply when people tried to help you....so what your in denial? YOUR HUSBAND IS CHEATING ON YOU! and probally getting away with it...If you allow him to continue to use you you will always be unhappy....so instead of coming here and flaming someone in your same situation maybe you should read more and take steps to protect you and your CHILDREN.....

Tom,

I know your watching my posts closely. You saw my last post within 24 hours. Tom = OM. I guess your not content with just destroying my family. You want to destroy my life as well. Your destroying your family as well. What do you think your 3 children are going to think of you as they learn the truth? Especially the one year old.

Why are you trying to mess with me? I have showed quite a bit of restraint when it comes to you. I'm starting to get tired of you.

I thought you made a deal with me once. Do you remember? We made it on day 2. You were supposed to leave me family alone. You broke that deal within 24 hours. Yet I still held up my end of the bargain. Funny thing is you came up with the terms of that deal.

Why are you there to point out my mistakes every chance you get? Why are you playing a game that is driving 2 woman crazy? Oh yes, it is driving them nuts. It drove me insane for a little then I started to realize the source of it all. It's you. Your playing a game I don't like anymore. You keep jumping from one side of the fence to the other.

Your just a selfish little child. That pretty much explains it all. You are only thinking of yourself. Was your father like this?

I hope you enjoyed the email I sent to you at work. The next one is going to be more like [email]everyone@famouscorporation.com.[/email] Why don't you try to stay out of my life and not be so curious about what I'm posting at an anonymous forum. See ya around @;-)

In Texas we have a saying for people like Tom........"get a rope!"







"you have to have a good imagination,
if you are going to live a life of hope"
Jack Ingram