My first posts can be referenced here:

My first posts

My husband is planning to leave. He says he doesn't want to be responsible for anyone else and just wants to be by himself and be happy. I am positive he is just wanting it so that he can be with the OW without feeling as guilty about it. I've tried discussing it with him in a calm manner, but he insists it is the thing to do. I have no idea how we are going to afford this idea though. No idea at all.

What am I going to do financially? I have never had a real, full-time job and once I got out of school (university), I settled into being a full-time homemaker (no children). It has been years and I'd have no references and very little work experience. I trusted him completely and only now realize how naive I have been.

I don't know how to go about contacting a lawyer. I am not going to do any of WH's work for him concerning separating or anything like that, but I will need one in order to protect my own interests. There are so many lawyers in the phone book though that I don't really know where to begin in finding a good one.

On top of all this, we only have one car so will need to buy a second one. Where is the money going to come from for all of this? I am on his insurance as well so I will have no insurance.

This latest "disaster" came about after I exposed him to his friends the day before yesterday. I just don't know what to do. I don't even really know how I'm feeling right now other than scared.

Sabine,
I am sorry you are in this situation. It really stinks, as all of us BS can attest to!



I was wondering if has minded you being a homemaker since he says he doesn't want to be responsible for anyone any longer? Do you think there's any resentment on his part?

The laws are different in most states I'm sure, but if you have been a homemaker all these years, you should be able to get temporary alimony for a pre-specified period of time until you are able to get on your feet.


You could get the phone book and make a few calls just to inquire, get some of your basic questions answered that way.
I'm looking through my local phone book right now, and a lot of them do advertise free consultations, some are by appt, some by phone. It's worth a shot to see what info you can get on how to protect your rights too.

I have discussed with my WH what we are going to do and we agreed that a mediator will be the way to go in our situation. (Unless it get's nasty, then we'd have to get attorneys.) A mediator is much cheaper too! Ours charges 45.00 per person (90.00) per hour and the session when you meet with her is no longer than an hour and a half. She said any longer than that and the orignal decisions about how things will be divided/handled/child support/alimony etc get thrown out the window and spouses fight or want to re-negotiate. Of course you pay her per hour for her outside preparation time too for processing the papers, etc.

Good luck to you! I know how scared you are right now and this is a [color:"blue"] wonderful [/color] place to be. Marriage Builders and these wonderful people here have been a Godsend to me, that's for sure!!