Its Tuesday night, my H is the coach of my sons baseball team so we saw each other for the first time today since he left for his moms on Sunday AM. I was pretty good about it. Dont think I made too many snide comments. Didnt even cry, until.... I told him I have to go and he came over and hugged me. I had to walk, nearly run away crying. He called today and talked for 2 hours before the game. Mainly he listened to me tell him about what I have learned from all of you, but every time I would apologize for gabbing too long and offer to hang up, he would tell me it was nice to talk to me (i do all the talking) and he liked hearing what I have said. What the heck is that? I know he tried to call the OW and she told him not to call her because she and I had spoken and she promised me should would give us time to work it out. UGH! The fact he is calling her! He tells me that he still has some thinking to do. That he is trying to figure out what led to the A in the first place and why after the initial DDay, he went back to her again. I feel so much like telling him to take all the time he needs and go find himself but I wont be here when he gets back. But when I see him, I cant say anything of the sort. I do want this marriage to work. I do want to forgive him and follow all the plans for the future we have. No I am not afraid to be alone any longer, yes I believe I can make it on my own. So I just want him for him no other reason. I told him today that I do not want him to come back until he is sure she is out of his life and only if he comes back for me, not the kids, the security, fear of divorce nothing else, but me! Thanks for giving me a place to get this out, its very therapeutic. GOD bless all of you.

What a tough time. I know it feels like you're dying inside. But it only lasts for a few months! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Take it slowly. You just found out. He's questioning things. He SHOULD want to come back for the kids. He can find a way to LOVE YOU like he did. I didn't have that luck, but many others have.

Keep looking pretty to him. Talk to him about things. We guys love to be relied on. The fact that the other woman sent him away for now is GREAT. Very honorable of her.... maybe. He needs to tell her he won't contact her anymore while you guys work on it. That's the first step. Don't force it, but it's a requirement. He needs to make a choice to work on it with you.

Melatonin will help you sleep through the night without the drugs. It helped me.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

You are a great help. Things just progress so quickly yet not at all around here. Yesterday was Wednesday, I work at night and needed to get back to work so I wouldnt lose my job. He came to our home at lunch time. I was in shock. Excited thinking he came here to say its all over and he's back. Well on the contrary he came in and sat down and said hey like any other day and nothing has changed. Well that baffled me, he said he took off work early because he hasnt had much sleep and couldnt do his job right. (me too) Then soon fell asleep and the topic never came up about us, mind you I gave him my wedding rings and asked him to hold onto them until he was sure we could be together again. Well he came home but no rings on my finger yet. I sat in frustration a while then woke him up and told him if he kept it up I was afraid I was going to have to ask him to stop coming around. He insists at every contact that he loves me, and said yesterday that its not about her its about whether I can get over whats happened and we can move on. Mind you this is the second loop of the A since original DDay in Sept. I didnt do well with it then, not able to let it go he said, every day I would make reference to the A in one way or another. I know that with a lot of help, I can get over this, for me if nothing else I need to be happy again. But no matter how much I assured him, no rings. We had a lot of hugging and he showed me lots of affection, but when I went to work he made mention of taking it a little at a time. UGH I dont know what else to do. Hopefully I am switching to dayshift next week and hopefully he will stay this weekend here even though I dont work. We will see. Keep looking to GOD for the strength to get over this, and hold my tongue until I do. GOD bless all of you and thank you so much for the opportunity to share and for you helping me through this.