Hello, my WH says he is no longer involved with OW. I believe it to be true. I think she got tired of him not committing to her. WH decided he had been drinking too much, so he has stop. Can't confirm that is true because he is living apart from us. He doesn't drink around us, it was a problem in the beginning of our marriage 15 years ago.

Our family, kids 10 and 6, me and my WH spent several hours together last weekend. Which is an improvement over the prior several weeks.

His job is going very well and he is very busy. Could he be replacing us with his job? The two things that had been keeping him away....the OW and drinking are out of the picture. Yet he still isn't coming back, he just doesn't know if he can be happy at home. He doesn't seem to understand how to come home. Although when he takes the kids and then they come back here he always stays.....I just don't understand.

He won't even talk about going to counseling. We had many years of happiness and I just not ready to let go. If you have had experience like this please help me to understand.

Hi Alesa. I'm not very good at this but I'd like you to feel somebody is listening. It sounds like your husband has a long row to hoe. Getting off the twin addictions of drink and OW all by himself is going to be very difficult. Has he tried AA? Too bad there isn't a Skanks Anoynomous... The work thing can be all consuming. My IC calls my WH's job his other mistress. I think when people have addictive personalities, they just go overboard on everything.

A couple hours of family time does not a relationship make. Set your boundaries and decide what you want. I think you'll find that most of us aren't ready to give up yet. Take care.

Alesa...we have spoke before. It seems like you are just hanging in there with everything. My WH also stopped seeing OW for a while and said he just needed to think things over.
After several months his visits home became awkward, said he felt odd being there. Just to let you know that will get worse the longer they are out of the house. There really isn't anything you can do about it. I always tried to make everything good for him, nice meals, fun things to do with the kids...it didn't matter. They have guilt and bad feelings that over shadow anything you might do. It is NOT YOU...it is within themselves. Maybe your H can figure out how to deal with it, mine could not.

He doesn't know what he wants and frankly I can not longer wait for him to find out. I may never know what it was, but my advice to you is to move on without him. If he wants you he will come back.