I need some advice quick! I found out last march that my husband was having an affair with a woman that started by talking on cell phones. It had been going on for 5 mon. and when I confronted him about it (after I had proof) he denied everything for 3 days than apologized and acted truly sorry. He said he would still like to be friends with her, the couple is friends of ours that we don't see real often and her husband is not being faithful to her either and can really make life miserable for her so she is playing on his sympathies. I decided at the time to let it go because he seemed to be genuinely sorry. TOW called me later and apologized for her part in it but said she would still like to talk to my husband if that was ok with me. I said "no it is not ok" and that they had proved they were not able to keep it with talking. Now I found out two days ago that they are still talking. And not just a little. They talk several times a week most weeks and for hours at a time! I know if I say anything to him he will say they are just being friends and why can't he have friends? My question is this, can that be possible? Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? If it is nothing why does he keep it a secret from me? Our marriage seemed to be doing soooo much better but how can I trust him if he is keeping secrets from me and lying to me?! What do I do? He doesn't know that I know. I have been trying to decided what to do first but I keep getting more and more angry. I don't want have to raise my two children myself. It makes me sick.

Just one more note. When he supposedly ended the affair the first time he was not completely open with me. After our first discussion he refused to talk about it again and refused to answer any questions I had. I have not been allowed to talk about it since. I realized my mistakes that caused him to stray and have been doing my best to meet his physical and emotional needs. To find out that he is still talking to her just blows me away. I don't feel like I can ever recover from this.

Please read section on no contact letters. I think you will find your answers there. In a nutshell, as long as they are in contact, the A is still active and a threat to maritial recovery.

Vaya con dios
ktu136