Hi everyone. Well, haven't heard from WH for months. He called last night. It was a weird conversation. He told me the old I love you, and think about you everyday fogtalk. Also blamed me for throwing him out.

But this time it was so different. I told him I hoped he was doing well. He said he was going to church again. I asked him how that was going seeing as he is married with a girlfriend.

Now get this. He says that being married and having an affair makes no difference in his salvation. He was saved 20 years ago, and that is enough. I mentioned that I hoped that was so, but have read that Christians that are doing wrong would be convicted by the Holy Spirit to turn from their sins. He said that he is everyday, but God has given him free will to make his own choices.

The best thing about the whole conversation is that I just don't care anymore. I talked to him like someone I used to be acquainted with, like an old workmate.

It feels soooooo good to be finally over all of this. Hope that the rest of you will get some peace soon.

kewl, he has a special license to sin! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I just love ya, believer! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Melody -

I'm thankful to you and others here that I didn't let him move in 2 Christmas' ago. Can you imagine the pain that would have been? At least now, I am removed from the situation and the general uproar.

So I'm in a very good place. It just isn't TEXAS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Believer, any place that isn't Texas can't be a good place!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

But you sure have come along way, haven't you? My gosh, you have just done a superb job sticking to your guns. I agree with you that it would be nightmare watching his affair up front and close. But instead, you chose to hold your ground and protect yourself. So far you have come! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Edited to add: GOD BLESS TEXAS!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Well if that ain't self justification and fog talk...

Believer good for you for moving on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

FF -

I feel sorry for him. He used to be a good man. He and his lover have built their relationship on the pain of her husband, 12 year old daughter, and me.

Plus, he and OW have broken up 3 times over the last 3 years. I guess they can't trust each other. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Believer, why don't you divorce him?

GC

I sense a person of very high caliber in this gal! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

This came up in the fall in a course I was taking. And again tonight at Bible study. I can't remember the exact verse reference, but it goes...

It is not by works that your are saved, but by the Grace of God.

In other words, Christ was sacrificed to atone for ALL our sins and once we accept that sacrifice and believe in him, we are guaranteed salvation.

So your husband's soul is saved. On the other hand, as long as he keeps exercising his 'free will' against the Will of the heavenly Father, he will continue to be denied God's blessing. Soul saved or no. If and when he chooses to align his actions with the Will of God, he will begin to experience God's blessings. It's actually a simple equation when you stop to think about it.

I'm glad that he is going to church. I hope that there's good folk there and that the Spirit begins to fill his heart and guide his steps. I'll pray for the both of you.

dewt

You CAN come to TX, ya know? You're always welcome in SAT!!!!

I unpacked my Foxfire books today. IT was like saying hello to my oldest, dearest friends!

- Kimmy

Believer,

I'm curious like Gray, why don't you just divorce the poor sod so he can live in his free-willing sin without being married to you?

Kimmy,

My little bro lives in SAT, did I tell you that already? When I go see him I am going to hunt you down, girl. And as far as those Foxfire books, I still got mine and won't lend them out either. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Make it three...I'm also curious about why you remain married instead of divorcing him.

I don't think that you are still hoping that one day the marriage will work out. He doesn't support you, so what reason is there for staying married to him?

I'm asking this question not just about you, but because there are many others here at MB in the same situation...and I wonder what they are waiting on.

Susan

Hey all. Well, I had to think about it for a day. WHY AM I NOT DIVORCING WH? I don't want him back, that is for sure.

I guess it boils down to the covenant I have with the Lord. I have decided to do my part, no matter what WH does. My life is good again, and I have no desire to remarry.

Also WH needs my health insurance.

Things may change in the future. But right now, I will be one of the 25% cited by the Harley's who separate and never divorce.

Of course you younger folks have to move on. But for me, I can't conceive of getting married again.

Thanks for all of the input.

Believer, what a marvelous woman you are. I can understand that you can't conceive of marring again but...what a waste. Any man in his right mind would love to have a god fearing woman in his corner like you. I can certainly conceive of marrying again to a God fearing woman. This may sound harsh but WH needs to get his own health insurance. You need to move on with your life. Live like you were dying.

That cracks me up. I bought Dr Dobson's Love Must Be Tough CD's and in it Dr Dobson speaks of the 4 justifications WS's come up with to deal with their guilt. #4 is the statement that the WS has been told by God that their actions are forgiven, yet indeed, sanctified by God!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the laugh, believer!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Staying married under these conditions ~~~

I'm wondering why this limbo doesn't feel like living a lie to you .... you are not married in a spiritual sense...

donchathink your husband deserves to experience the fullness of his choices?

like buying his vera~own health insurance?

I'm just saying ....

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the responses. I am at the point where I don't want WH anymore. However, I don't hate him.

I am going to continue to stick to the covenant that I made with the Lord. That is my work.

My WH has made his choices. He has chosen to be with the OW. Right now, it seems that all is well. But I truly believe that a love affair that began with so much hurt - the OW's 12 year old daughter, her husband (returning from Iraq), me, our children, and on and on, cannot thrive.

So I will continue on my own.

That is one of the most twisted justifications of scripture I've ever heard. But in the practical sense, I believe he's correct. The question was posed in our church that while salvation can be never taken away, if a person falls that far into sin, you may question whether the person was truly saved in the first place. If he was, the Lord may have some nasty retribution awaiting his poor decisions. If he was not,.... the answer is self evident.

In either case, you don't want to be NEAR him. Pray for him to find his way.

Four.

And that's in spite of your answers 2 the first 3. This doesn't make any sense.

Salvation 20 years ago? nonsense. I believe that it must be a daily thing for the rest of one's life.

-ol' 2long

Hi Believer,

I do understand your reasons for not D'ing.

But I wanted to ask, do you realize he can wreck your credit, or, if he gets sued (has a dui and hurts someone), that you can be held liable for monetary damages? Have you spoken to a lawyer about some sort of 'legal' seperation?

Just wondering. I am glad you've come to a good point with all this. Please take care - Dru