I can't reply to you for whatever reason, Dobie, so I'm just replying here.

I guess you're right about this being plan A. Just didn't realize it. I am trying to take things one step at a time because up until yesterday, he thought that it would be okay for them to remain friends and that everything would be cool with us after a while. I expressed to him that as long as she was in his life he would have those feelings for her, remember his time with her, etc and that we could not work on our marriage until she was gone. I think he is just now understanding that after he crossed that friendship line, he forfeited a regular friendship. SO, to answer your question, Dobie, no. I have not set a deadline...yet. I want us to take these steps together and if I rush him onto the next step before he is ready he will feel backed into a corner and become defensive. I don't want that. I'm being patient and trying to take his feelings into consideration in the situation. I understand that he has deep feelings for her and doesn't want to face the pain of losing her. But I know he knows it's the right thing to do and the only way we can salvage our marriage. I may approach this idea in the next couple of days depending on how we are responding to the step we are on right now. Baby steps, right?

Step 1. Download Mozilla Firefox here.

Step 2. Commit yourself to Plan A. Having a plan will help make sense of what you're going to do and give you an active part in recovery. Remember that Plan A is something you do for yourself.

Step 3. Set that timeline. You can't Plan A forever. Just long enough so he either commits himself to NC and recovery or you give him something really awesome to miss if you leave. And it also gives you a better appreciation for yourself.

Yep, baby steps. Sometimes you'll wonder what on earth you're doing and why, but concentrating on each individual action will make is less overwhelming.

Keep us posted.

Dobie