just want your .02 on this...no, I have absolutely no relationship or talking with former ow/w..my xh married her instantly after our divorce last year as she was expecting.

since last fall, she's shown her real actions towards me and was verbally abusive to me last fall after son's birthday party (unprovoked on my part...she's got issues...serious ones). have gotten xh to also not have her discipline my child as she spanked him and lied about it to my xh. she also "accidentally" let my dog out when he was staying with them while xh was out of town on business and dog was almost euthanized by shelter when the dog pound picked him up...(my dog is large, and is in failing health as he's old. I can't pick him up to take him to vet and xh said he would be happy to help me as he had fenced in area for dog and loved dog too)...

basically, she's still not anything but passive agressive to me and now I fear to my son even more.

Sitch: My son came home from his dad's last week and asked me a question in the car w/a puzzled look on his face...he said (6 years old)"mom, what did family values mean when she said "whenever I look into your eyes I see your mommy"?"...I swear, I got shivers down my spine. My son does look exactly like me and fortunately got little outward genetic help from my xh...both xh and ow/w have black hair and dark/hazel eyes...I am light blonde w/blue and son and I could almost be fraternal twins...

I told son "if she ever tells you this again, say yes, thank you my mommy and I do have beautiful blue eyes."

I don't know what is up with that comment...I think it's passive agressive as heck. Just in line with her.

That is just one reason why it is best for the OW never to lay eyes on the mother. I see no positive or even innocent way to interpret that statement. That, combined with the fact that she spanked your child and then wasn't even honest with your husband about it, should be a huge red flag. I know your child is only six, but does he know any self defense? I know our police department offers training in simple self defense for kids (I think it is called RAD). At a minimum, your son should never be alone in the house or car with her.

I don't think it's as serious as that, and I don't think she'd hit your son again (because she needs the meal ticket).

It could just be a comment. Each of my DD's looks like one of us, and sometimes I stare at my DD and see none of me in her. I believe that my X has problems with my oldest because she looks exactly like me. My youngest is the spitting image of his family and doesn't look like she belongs to me at all. I tell her all the time she looks just like her aunt - who is a beautiful woman - and she even has her style sense.

Don't read too much into statements.

I think it means that she thinks that your son looks like you - not worth the effort it is gonna take you to analyze it for the deeper meaning..... Who cares????

I've often thought that one of the reasons my ex-inlaws treat my DD differently than my DS could be because of how much she looks like me. The other part of the reason would be that it is a very male-dominant female-submissive household and my DD has my strong, independent spirit as well.

You can't do much better than to tell him to smile and say thank you.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

hmmmmmm. If it were me, I'd just BLOW IT OFF - you've been dealing with not one, but TWO fruitcakes since your D to him anyway. I have followed your story since you first came here - of course, you probably know me as 'DJ T-Bird' or 'Sauron TDL' but of course, when MB changed over to the new program they lost my name and password so I had to re sign-up. Whatever.
If you try to analize every STOOPIT-[censored] thing that woman says, along with her husband, you'll lose your mind. Let it go - they're not worth worrying over anyway. And the day (pray it never happens) that your dear son comes home with a mark on him - just one - it will be time to get the Divorce Court to allow your EX "Supervised Visits" only.
You have a life. They don't. Enjoy it, Peachy!
Just me, still hanging out in 'The Kingdom' (Of Caerlon).
TDL

A statement that would be totally innocent coming from someone without an ax to grind takes on a completely different meaning when someone who hates you says it. I firmly believe that your son should never be left alone with that woman. I wouldn't wait until she hits him again.

Peachy, email me at mcelros@yahoo.com before noon today, and I'll give you my cell number in case you can drop by and meet me tonight - Tuesday.

I used to post here some years ago when my previous marriage was failing. I am now remarried and am very happy and in love with my new husband. I am also a stepmom to two wonderful teens. Peachy, I have to ask you, when are you going to let it go? By "it" I am referring to the fact that your ex cheated on you and married the woman. By you still calling her names and analyzing everything that she ever does or saya, it shows that you are jealous and bitter...still. Why? Don't you realize that you are better off without the guy? Don't you realize that you two were not suited for one another? My ex cheated on me too. He married her also. I would be lying if didn't admit that I was bitter in the beginning when he left me. I said and thought nasty things about the OW. But then I got over it because I didn't want him anymore. It's clear that you still want your ex, otherwise you wouldn't be so nasty about his new wife.

As far as the comment...you are trying to make something out of nothing. Again, just another example of you being jealous of the new wife. Put it behind you, for your sons sake, if not your own! I've commented to my stepkids how the one looks a lot like their mother. I didn't mean anything negative about it. They both have very pretty blue eyes!

ok lets not go there.....

Hi Peach!

I do see a lot of passive aggressive in her statement as I hear some jealousy. I think that statement was purposely said to spite you! She will always feel like second hand furniture to you because she took something from you which was your marriage. That marriage didn't fall apart on its own, it was her that took the bricks out of your marriage and made it come to a fall a little premature than it should. So I know that she feels your animosity towards her and she is taking it out on your son knowing that he will come back to you and repeat! Gloat it off! Know that you will have the upper hand over her! The best thing to do is smile it off!

Ali~