I've done alot of reading on MB and I've done 5 months of a good Plan A in my opinion..DD Sept '04.. online EA with his ex wife (plans were made leading to a PA) There were many incidents after that where calls were made or emails were written to other females, not just his ex wife. Moved out Feb 1st..5 days later I had our son.. When our son was 3 weeks ago, we tried to reconcile with the conditions that all telephone numbers for women were deleted, I have access to his email password as well as voice mail password, that he tell me anytime a woman from his past attempts to contact him or he contacts them for whatever reason and he establish a third party arrangement with his ex wife concerning their 3 children (of which she has seen only twice since i've been with DH and I have NEVER seen her)

We currently don't live together but we are in the process of having our home built with a closing date of July 15th and i thought reconciliation was going great! He comes every Friday and stays till Sunday. He calls 6-8 times a day with our conversations lasting sometimes over 2 hours. Then I find out April 4th that he wired his ex wife some money...I am livid!! i confront him about it and he says he felt sorry for her becuz she needed a new outfit for an interview she was going on.. I told him so what! she has a man now that she lives with (but they both have no jobs).. and if anything she should be giving him money for their three children. I hate that he is so weak behind her! Well i forgave him for that and i demanded that he tell me next time she try and contact him. he promised he would. Fast forward to this weekend.. Friday, I had this awful feeling that something was wrong.. I asked him "is there anything you need to tell me?" he said no nothing at all. then he retracted and said oh yeah (exwife) called and left a msg saying she wanted to see the kids..I said "when" he said 3 days ago.. I was so upset and he said the reason he didn't tell me was becuz he didn't talk to her.. she just left a msg.. I told him taht was not the point.. i don't care if he didn't talk to her or what she wanted.. the point was.. he should have told me immediately after it happened.. I shouldn't have to quiz him like a child everytime.. Why can't he just offer this information freely? I finally said i couldn't do it anymore.. He needed to establish some sort of No Contact at that moment..(by the way he said he would write the NC letter two weeks ago which still he hasn't done) then I said.. he needed to call her at that moment and kindly ask her to refrain from calling his cell phone.. that if she wanted to see teh kids, she could call her mother, or she could call me and if she failed to reach either one of us , then as a last resort she could call my DH.. he refused to do it! So i said, I couldn't move forward until taht was done.

Fast forward to today.. I was rear ended by an uninsured motorist.. both the baby and I were fine. His mother called me and in conversation I told her what happened.. well the next thing I know, he is blowing up my cell phone becuz he was worried about the baby and I .. I didn't answer at first until I heard his messages that he knew about the accident.. Finally i talked to him and said we were both alright.. he said he didn't believe me and wanted to see for himself. I really didn't feel like seeing him in the sad state that i was in but he didn't listen and said he was on his way to my house at that moment.. as soon as he arrives.. i leave and tell him to call me when he was done visitng with our son.. and i left.. he immediately calls me on my cell and tells me why do i have to leave.. for me to come back so we can talk.. i said there is nothing to talk about with the exception of our son until he has taken care of the NC with his ex wife.. well he calls me when he is done seeing our son and i tell him to leave as soon as i get there.. he complies reluctantly.. when i get in the apartment..he has written I love you on my bathroom mirror and has a letter that he wrote on my computer basically telling me that he can't belive i would try to keep him out of the loop when our son has been involved in an auto accident.. that my obvious hate for him gives me no right to keep him from our son or having to fight and cuss to see him.. secondly he has driven as fast as he could to get to me to show me that he stll loves me but his advance went unnoticed and i don't care.. taht all he can say is he loves me and he will not be with anyone else and he will wait till i can look him in the eyes again and remember that i still love him.. then about 10 min after he left.. he text me saying.. "just to let you know, i want you (sexually)
Question: should I respond this soon in Plan B? how do i know he is not just talking to reel me back in only to have me fooled once again.. i'm so scared to trust him or believe anything he says.. secondly.. am i wrong for demanding NC with ex wife when they share 3 children? how is that handled where all parties are in agreement? I have told him that i will not keep our son from him at any time. but it will all go thru a third party.. (he can pick our son up and see him at a mutual friends house) he DESPISES third party and says he will only deal with me when it comes to our son.. I love him and want to be back together with him and hope to move in as a family into our new home in July.. but i'm scared..

Well I'm kind of torn about the NC request you have for him with the mother of his other three children.

I am in counseling with my ex and DD, learning how to communicate and give her the best possible life considering that we are not together and he is married to another.

It is extremely important for children to see positive interaction between their parents, even if their parents are divorced and married to others.

So yes, I am very torn. If you can't trust him with his ex-wife I see your dilema, however it is my belief that children come first.

Holy moly, I hope someone comes on here who can answer your questions with wisdom more than mine.

I will say that demanding never works. And he won't tell you anything if he feels it isn't safe to do so.

I am puzzled by your plan B.

When you were in Plan A, was it to end an affair?

What are the conditions of your ending the Plan B with consideration to recovery?